SEL Chapter 35

Steph is in the Cave. Alfred stands nearby, waiting with her coffee and breakfast. Beside him, Helena munches a pastry and looks on with interest.

Steph waits with the phone pressed to her ear. Finally, Babs speaks.

“OK, Stef. Do whatever you think is right. But I can’t be a part of it. You have to cut me off.”

“Cut you off?”

“Cut me off. I’m a civilian. My ears are normal now. Not pointy.”

“They’ll always be pointy, Babs.”

“Nope.”

Steph chews her lip. “OK. Whatever you say, mommy.”

“Don’t—don’t call me that.” Babs hangs up.

Steph sighs. “I know we’re all cool here with forgetting about due process and stuff. How do we feel about election interference?”

Helena holds up a gloved hand, making devil horns with her fingers.

Steph points at her. “Yeah, girl.”

“Oh dear,” Alfred says.

“Babs says it’s cool, Alfred.”

“Oh, well. That’s different then,” he replies dryly.

“Just think how sweet it’s gonna be with Babs as mayor, guys.”

Helena chews. “I’ll help her, but only if she promises to do something about public school funding.”

Steph sucks her breath in through her teeth. “See, if I’m hearing her right, that is exactly the kind of deal that she doesn’t want to talk about.”

“She can lose, then.”

“You don’t mean that. Can you just put breakfast down a sec, Alfred? I want to clean up.” Steph trots over and kisses his cheek, then strides off to the spacious, black, unnecessarily luxurious Bat-shower.

As the shower fills with steam, she peels off her costume. The truth is, she’s nervous about Helena or Alfred smelling Selina on her. She’s hardly begun to soap up her body when she hears someone behind her.

Helena steps through the curtain of steam.

“Oh.” Steph freezes. Nudity. Soap and water stream down Steph’s rigid body.

Helena snorts and joins her under the water. “What, kid?”

“I didn’t know you were coming in.”

“I did just come off the street, didn’t I?”

“Guess so.”

Helena glances over. Steph hides her half-wood with her hands. “Cute,” Helena says, reaching up to deal with her hair. Her back arches and her chest sticks out. Steph feels dizzy. Helena has even bigger boobs than Babs does. This is a problem.

“Oh my god. Like you never saw a naked woman before. Didn’t you have a three-way with Batgirl and Batwoman?” Helena asks.

Steph gasps. “Who told you that?”

“Who do you think?”

“Well, I don’t even remember it really. Me and Kate had some drinks first.”

“Kate remembers.”

Steph is already red. She gets redder. “Neat,” she says with a big, fake smile.

Helena turns to face her, hands on hips. Steph swallows.

“Is that stiffy for me? Am I supposed to be flattered?” Helena asks, unimpressed as Steph tries vainly to hide it.

“Excuse me, are you supposed to get in the shower when someone’s already in here?”

“It’s big enough for like ten people. You can get the whole Justice League in here,” Helena replies.

“Yeah, but you’re gonna bring your huge boobs over here and stick them in my face? And I’m supposed to just be cool about it?”

“Is that what this is about? I thought Kate was the gay one.”

“It’s Seed!”

Helena sighs. “Yeah. Vicki’s getting the same way, actually.”

“What?”

“Yeah. One of the people Vicki burned stuck her with a needle before I could stop them. Vicki’s got a dong now.” Helena rolls her eyes. “And now she’s always staring at me.”

“Then you understand.”

“I understand that nobody but me seems interested in doing any real work,” Helena says. “You come back here smelling like sex and talking about elections while I’m handling the **** trade.”

“OK. OK. I can explain,” Steph says, mortified.

Helena finishes rinsing off. “Can’t wait. Can we get back to work now?”

Steph comes to her senses; she hasn’t been bathing, she’s just been staring at Helena.

She gestures helplessly at her woody. “Want to give me a minute?”

“Unbelievable.” Helena walks over and Steph squeaks in surprise as Helena expertly grabs her arm and spins her around to put her in a hold.

“Hey!” Steph’s voice wavers as she feels Helena’s warm breasts pressed against her back.

“Shut up,” Helena says tiredly, reaching around Steph’s slim waist.

“Ah!” Steph’s body stiffens as Helena’s fingers grip her cock. “Oh my god! Ah! Oh!”

Helena covers Steph’s mouth and strokes her shaft briskly.

Steph’s legs shake and her knees knock together. Her slippery body quivers in Helena’s arms. After an embarrassingly short time, her hips jerk sharply. A jet of cum blasts against the shiny, black wall of the shower as she grunts tearfully into Helena’s palm.

Helena gives a few more merciful tugs, then lets go and steps back. Steph collapses to her knees, soap, water, and jizz swirling around her. She moans she pulls a bit more on her cock. Dizzily, she looks up to find Helena already gone.

When Steph emerges in a black robe, she finds Helena with Alfred. Helena is eating Steph’s breakfast.

“Leave me some,” she says, joining them.

“I can make more later,” Alfred says. “We have a new matter to consider. During her brief tenure, Ms. Gordon significantly improved our surveillance of certain digital concerns, including banking and wire transfers. Oswald Cobblepot has engaged two noted assassins who appear to be on their way to Gotham. Ms. Gordon further reported recently that Cobblepot had attempted dialogue with her for a political alliance. Naturally, she refused. This could be an act of retribution.”

“We saw what happened the last time they were onstage,” Steph says.

“Hill ended up dead. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. He cut the after-school snack program, you know that?” Helena shakes her head and takes another drink of Steph’s coffee.

Steph grimaces. “Setting that aside, I also owe Selina Kyle a favor. She wants me to find Bruce. We also have to get enough proof that Aki Aramaki is the Spider to shut her down.”

“Assassins. Spider. Bruce.” Helena yawns. “Three jobs. Only two of us.”

“Three of us, if you please, Ms. Bertinelli. I believe I can handle Ms. Aramaki,” Alfred says mildly.

“Fine. Kid, you take Bruce. I’ll take the hitters.”

Steph bristles. “Excuse you. I’m in charge.”

“You can’t even handle some boobs. Sorry, Alfred. But it’s true. You think you’re ready for the big leagues?” Helena raises an eyebrow.

“I can do it!” Steph protests, fuming. “I can handle so many assassins!”

“OK. You’re the boss.” Helena snorts and pulls another piece off a muffin.

Should Steph handle the assassins? Or Helena?