Bumpy

"But Master... I wanna cuddle. I'm a cuddler. And you look so cuddly. I could just cuddle you up. Or at least cuddle you to sleep. Just a little cuddle?" Azure pleads repeatedly. I wish I had a mute button for this thing. At least it's somewhat dressed now. I gave it a pair of my knickers and... Tried to lend it a bra, but it turns out the fucking thing has bigger fucking tits than me, an actual human fucking woman. Not that I'm not used to it, almost all of my fuck buddies are bigger than me, but a fucking Roomba being more endowed than me? Fuck you, Methus.

Anyway, I gave it a shirt to sleep in instead.

"For the last time, no! You can't sleep in my bed." I growl. I actually bothered to grab my spare duvet for the robot to get it to stop complaining, and then it starts on how it wants to be close to me. It just never stops. I'm standing here in pants and a tank top, arguing with it when I have a long day tomorrow. Saying that, it's gone silent, like it isn't paying attention to me. Somehow that pisses me off more. "Hello, Azure? Don't ignore me when I'm calling you a twat." I insult it, snapping my fingers in front of it.

"Master, you need to get your weapon." It informs me. It's at this point I realise what's distracted Azure so much. Banging from the roof. The roof of my loft. On the 84th floor. I dart to my bedside table and grab my Snapper, checking the cartridge. I haven't recharged it for a few days. 11 shots. More than enough as long as they number less than that. Azure grabs an ornamental bo staff I keep on the wall. Another gift from a successful case, not important now. I doubt it'll have much luck with it, but it's better than nothing.

I stand in front of Azure, positioning it in the corner. I don't know what entry point they'll use. They can access the fire escape from the roof, could also rappel through one of the windows if they're that prepared... Of course the most obvious entrance would be-

CRASH

The skylight breaks as four figures drop down through it. The digiglass responds and fixes itself within seconds, but the intruders are already in. All matching black attire with full face masks. I open fire. My first shot hits one of the targets bang on... But does nothing. What? Anti-stun weave is military issue, the only reason I have it on my jacket is because I was army. I fire two more shots at the same one, the group now spreading out and grabbing cover. The unlucky fuck goes down with the third shot. Weave's stun-resistant, but even it has a limit.

A second attempts to leap over the dividers that separate my bed from the rest of the loft. Close spread. One. Two. Three. The assailant hits the ground before I can even question how they jumped seven feet in the fucking air. The third rounds the corner and jumps against the wall before jumping back and kicking the snapper out of my hand. Two involuntary shots fire off from it as it flies across the loft. The figure grabs me and pins me against the wall with one arm. Azure attempts to hit them with the staff, but they catch it in the air, still it gives me an opening to kick out their knee. The moment of weakness frees me up to deliver a punch to their face before grabbing their head and delivering a jumping knee to that same face.

Before I have a chance to catch my breath, I hear a cry. "Master!" Azure's voice rings out, and I turn to see it struggling with the final assailant, who's brandishing a unique-looking knife. Without thinking, I charge the attacker, pushing them into the wall and drawing their attention to me. They take a couple of swipes at me. I'm faster, but I can't keep this up forever. They go for a stab, and I catch their hand, trying to struggle the knife away. Unfortunately, this isn't looking good for me, whatever these fucks are on gives them more strength and agility than normal.

The attacker grabs my shoulder with their free hand, throwing me back into the wall. I can't lose focus on the blade, something tells me my tank top isn't going to protect my internal organs from this bad boy. Relax, just make sure it stays out of your gut, let them tire themselves out... The knife draws closer as I realise that they're unlikely to get tired if they're this hopped up. I have to think of something. I can't go out like this. Not like them. Please. Please, not like them...

SNAP. SNAP, SNAP.

The assailant goes limp, sliding to the ground and leaving the knife in my hands as I finally take a breath. I look at the source of the shots to see Azure, in a firing stance perfectly mirroring my own from earlier. At this point, I don't have a sarcastic response, I'm just happy to still have all my blood inside me.

I don't have time to bask in the victory before I hear another crash, the skylight again. More thugs? No, a canister... Wait, no. "Get down." I roar, tackling Azure to the ground, careful to keep the knife away from her. The sound rings out, and I see the flashes through my clenched eyes, but no explosion. Once the sound and light have passed, I open my eyes and take another look around, no damage... But the thugs are gone. Nine Bangers and Mag-Evac? More military-grade hardware.

"Oh, Master, you're so forward." I hear Azure grin, my chest landing directly in her face. I climb off her, looking around for any signs of hostiles, but it looks like the Mag-Evac took them back up through the skylight, they must've had an AV up there. "So, were those friends of yours? I didn't like them." Azure continues, pulling herself up, her cheeriness not missing a beat.

"I'm assuming that means you don't know who they are." I surmise, with Azure shaking her head in response. I look down at the knife in my hand. This thing I don't recognise. Its blade is multi-pronged, and they curve in a way that's almost artistic. It seems decorative, even spiritual, definitely not a match for all their top-level hardware. "Well, looks like they left us with a clue." I decide, gesturing to the knife.

I take a look around my loft, a bit of smashed furniture, nothing too disastrous. The precinct needs to hear about this, this case is definitely bigger than we thought. I reach for my bangle and begin to send out a call when a voice interrupts me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." The voice rings out from every device with a speaker. "Open the door, we need to talk." It continues. I know that fucking voice, as if my night wasn't bad enough. Azure stays close to me as I proceed to the rarely used front door and open it, revealing Lux, phone in hand. She wanders in like she lives here, looking around.

"If you wanted to kill me, you sent the wrong guys." I sneer, knowing full well this isn't her doing. Lux does a lot of shady shit, but this is way too hardcore for her.

She waves away my comments, taking a seat on my sofa. "Nice ass, by the way. It'd look nicer on my lap." Lux starts, causing me to remember I'm barely dressed. "I followed a ripple in the proverbial waters, there's been some weird buzz on the net lately, and then it leads me to this building. I tried to call you, but I guess their AV was jamming the whole building, nothing in or out."

I sit on the opposite sofa, with Azure close behind. "You're sitting in incestuous prostitute cum, by the way." The AI sneers at Lux. Guess she doesn't much care for our guest.

Lux laughs but doesn't bother moving. "So this is the one from your report, Project AZURE." She observes. It doesn't even surprise me she looked at police files at this point. "You know something fun. I tried looking in Methus Labs' systems, there's no record of you at all. They really did everything they could to keep you off the books. Makes me wonder what's so special about you."

Azure just huffs at the interest. It is curious though, keeping only hard copies of data, then acid washing them like you're expecting something... I pull my V-Cig out, taking a drag. I know Azure's advanced, maybe they didn't want competitors knowing they were breaking into the AI space with a better product. As it is, she'd run rings around your average AI...

She? Ahh, what the hell.

She's earned it.