Step By Step

If I didn't have empirical evidence saying otherwise, I'd say I'm the worst detective in history. They had the same hair colour. They didn't even look at each other until I told them to. The age gap by itself should have been a giveaway by itself. No. It's not my fault. Why would the service even send direct relatives anyway? This was a trick... A weirdly arousing trick. I try not to think about what that says about me.

"They weren't that great." Azure decides, still hanging off my arm. "They forgot their lines. In the videos, they always remember to specify they're 'step-family', but those two didn't bother." It ponders. If I didn't know better, I'd call it a smart arse.

"The videos always mean real family, they say step, they mean real." I explain, all possible fury I could build up dissipating. I just don't have the energy for it.

Azure's face seems surprised by the information. "Oh." It replies thoughtfully. "That makes it sound really weird." It concludes. No shit it's weird, and worse, I don't think they were just acting when they were all lovey-dovey after. Sometimes you put something you never intended into the world. I can only hope I never encounter them again.

"Yeah, it's really fucking weird. Now, get off me. Some of us need to eat." I decide, pushing her away from me and standing up. I stop for a moment as I realise my jeans are still down, and I almost trip over them, so I take the time to reaffix them. Like the rest of the loft, the kitchen is really just an area with a refreezer and auto-cooker. Everything the average bachelorette needs.

Not the only thing, I'd also need to stock the fridge. Guess I'm getting dinner delivered.

"Master, can I ask why you didn't let me touch you when you were watching the girls? I read the anatomy books, I know that it feels better than doing it yourself." Azure asks, following me around the room like a shadow. A still-naked shadow at that. "Aww, are you waiting for a special occasion? You're so romantic!" It continues, almost a skip in its step as it decided that's the reason.

I sigh and decide this needs handling first. I turn to the AI and point to the sofa we were sitting on, indicating to sit back down. I sit across from it and begin my explanation. "Azure, you seem to be misunderstanding some things." I begin, as the bot sits at attention like I'm giving the most interesting lecture imaginable. "I am not your girlfriend. I am not your friend. You are nothing. Less than nothing. You are the personification of the phrase 'We've got the human race at home.' I am guarding you because it's my job. That is it. Do you understand?" I ask, completing my summary of events.

Its head nods, but I don't believe it actually gets what I'm saying based on that goofy grin. "You're saying that I need to prove my worth to you, Master. Gotta say, I'm a big fan of the tough love vibe. It really goes to show how much you care and want me to succeed." It replies gleefully. I give up, there's no point in trying. I'm arguing with a dishwasher. "And for my first task, I'll make us a nice dinner. You just relax."

"Don't bother, there's barely anything in the—" I begin, but it's too late. It skips past me as if I'd just been praising it. Fuck it. Let's see if the streams have anything about the case. I wave at the window nearest to me, causing it to spring to life with channel options. I know at least one reporter that'll be covering it.

I switch over to the stream, and sure enough, a dark-skinned reporter is standing in front of Methus Labs. "Police today entered the facility based on an SOS signal. A signal that was already a day old – our tax dollars at work, folks." The reporter adds with a huff. I cringe a bit at the mention. To be fair, there are millions of SOS devices activated a day, almost always as an accident or for some non-criminal problem. Can you blame us for deprioritising them?

"Reports state that one individual was found deceased. Police have not confirmed the identity of the individual but have advised that it is not that of the Lab's founder, Professor Methus. They have also confirmed that the professor's whereabouts are currently unknown. If you, or anyone you know, have any information related to his location, I'd advise not telling the police at all costs. We don't need two dead bodies tied to these labs."

Okay, I'd like to say we don't deserve that one, especially with the introduction of Snappers as standard issue, but... Well, there are a lot of cunts on the ****.

"I reached out to the police to confirm further details regarding the specific project that was attacked, but Professor Methus is a well-known biologist, specialising in organ transplants, we can therefore assume that this attack is related to their medical research."

That one does catch my attention. I've been so focused on Azure that I completely forgot the obvious question: What's a cutting-edge, next-generation AI doing in a medical research facility? Not like it can tell me, thing has no memory beyond me waking it up.

"I'll continue to cover this ongoing story as and when it progresses. Keep your eyes and ears open. I've been Juno Webb, on behalf of the Webb Site. Keep us tuned."

The VOD ends there. 'Webb Site'. Such a corny name for a corny reporter. I can't believe I slept with her... Repeatedly. Look, sometimes the interest is flattering, I'm only human.

I switch over the stream to regular coverage, no robo-cides on the mainstream channels – too much of a bummer for them. Perfect white noise to shut my brain off, though. Or try to, as Azure makes its return.

"And, voila!" It declares, proudly, placing two bowls on the coffee table. Before even looking at the food, I notice it's now wearing an old apron that one of my flings left here. At least it's not naked anymore. "Leftover stir fry, made with all my love for you, Master!" It announces, forming a heart with its hands and blowing a kiss through them.

I won't deny the food smells good, but I have more pressing questions. "Where did you learn to cook, and where did you learn to do whatever that just was?" I ask.

"I found a bunch of dusty recipe books on your shelf." It explains with a curtsey. "One of them was very in-depth about how to treat your master when you give them food."

Right, yeah, I recall that one. I got that as a special edition back when I was reading manga. Then I lost my virginity, and I had a new obsession. Sorry, 2D girls, real women are on another level.

"Okay, well, the food looks good, don't do that... Whatever you call that again." I order, reaching for a bowl. "Wait, you made one for you? Do you need to eat?"

Azure just giggles at my question. "Why else would I have made one for me? Don't be silly, Master." It points out, sitting across from me and beginning to eat. Methus is a biologist, maybe he created a fake digestive system to make synthetics more real? Hard to say his reasoning, but it definitely adds to the list of questions for when I find him.

It's a long list already.