Scenes From a Recovery Room

Dinah

Scarlet joins her in the nook soon enough. “Hey, Dinah,” she starts, taking a seat in the other overstuffed chair, “How you holding up?”

“Better? Worse? I don’t know.”

“The otter incident is the first time in a hot minute that you had the compulsion to ****-fed one of us. I’m not mad, just concerned. Do you have the compulsion under control, or do you need to buy that upgrade now?” Scarlet tries to be discreet, but it’s hard to ignore her hand slipping inside her leggings.

“I was obviously right to be angry at the fish for not dragging Harper out of the situation. Harper nearly died. I’ll get it before we leave, but I’m saving for the other one first. The Milky Mommy Crisis one. Need to get 15 BP to be able to afford it. The idea of even accidentally drugging my kids with my milk horrifies me. If that was all you were worried about, I’ll let you get back to the others.”

“Did you not hear me last night, girl? We care about you and want to include you. What else is bothering you?”

“You’re not doing this just to get off.”

With her free hand, Scarlet brings up her transformation info. “I can afford to wipe out my student loan right now if you think it’ll help you tell me what’s wrong. I’d just prefer to wait at least until I get to find out what happens to the Work/Study Girl bonus money.”

Dinah sighs. “Sorry for doubting you. I got a bunch of things bothering me. The ever-present problem is how so far behind I am compared to the rest of you. I mean, Skye got like 60-something points on her date and I barely cracked twenty. I’m sure I’m not going to be a person when this fucking show is done. It feels hopeless. Then, during the morning of Skye’s date, I had a conversation with Harper and it’s been eating at me pretty much ever since. She’s losing her old self, being consumed by a role of a woman sea elf, whatever that means, and that terrifies me. Even if she might care now, who knows how she’ll feel when she’s no longer human. Then the whole thing with Skye last night? Some cosmic being just pops in to officiate a weird-ass ‘wedding’? How does that make any sense? And I’ve felt absolutely worthless today trying to prevent what happened to Harper from happening. It’s like I don’t fit in anywhere in Harper’s life and I’m stuck.”

“Do you want advice or just to have me listen?” Scarlet stifles a moan as she waits for an answer.

“Yes.”

“Not a yes or no question, Dinah, so I’ll assume you want some advice. First, a lot of that is valid. You should be open and honest with Harper about it. Sure, she’s changed a lot over the past couple of weeks, but I haven’t seen any of those changes be for the worse. She’s generally grown into the role thrust upon her. I’ll watch out for things like a new personality now that you mentioned the possibility, but I don’t think she’s going to suddenly revel in you being some kind of breeding **** like the brain-dead bird-brain keeps insinuating about you. Stop hiding your feelings. You’re almost as bad as Josie on that front.”

Dinah scoffs at that last bit. “What did I say that wasn’t valid?”

“Skye’s wedding made sense in the context of how Eilistraee wishes to be worshiped. Harper has let me borrow a prayerbook after our date and that was as close to an accurate depiction of a wedding ceremony as the show would allow for. Definitely rushed, because there was supposed to be some pre-marriage one-on-one counseling that definitely didn’t happen, but accurate. And, if the book is telling the truth, Eilistraee likes to party. She regularly shows up to weddings and festivals in her name just to hang out. The other invalid thing is you weren’t worthless today. How well do you think Harper would have done if Tina, Josie, and I were busy having a threesome if you didn’t get our attention? How well do you think Harper would have done if we were relying on Daphne to lead us through emergency triage? You fit in with all of us. Got me?”

“I understand. Thank you for telling me off and listening. We’re all stuck up here tonight, aren’t we?”

“Yup. We all get to snuggle in that bed tonight. Looking forward to anyone getting you off, relieving some of that stress?”

“Maybe. Someone still owes me one. No pregnancies tonight, though.”

As Scarlet slips down and crawls between Dinah’s legs, the de-aged doctor smiles slightly. Just have to get through the challenge, then Harper and I can sit down to have a long conversation. We need to figure this out, for real.

Josie

“Wow, Harper is going to be sooooo pissed when she sees what you did to her precious bag thingy.”

Josie pants, staring at the heavy bag, shredded into a pretty big pile of fluff by her claws. She growls, “Not in the mood for your teasing Tina.”

“Not my intention to tease,” the bonny bunny replies, wrapping her arms around Josie’s chest. She continues, “I want to make sure my girlfriend is doing okay. How you doing? My sexy predator’s brain going into wolf overdrive?”

Sexy predator? Does she really think of me that way? “I close my eyes, I see myself ripping out Indigo’s throat for what she did to Harper. So, yeah, maybe?”

Tina nuzzles into the crook of Josie’s neck, her ear fur tickling Josie’s cheek. “Now you see how I felt last night?”

Ugh. That. Josie snorts in frustration. “You wanted to brutally **** Daphne for a mistake?”

“Okay, you aren’t feeling the exact same thing I was, but still. I felt so helpless at that moment. I still feel that way. The only contribution I could make to the team effort tonight was Skye fluffer. That was weird, right? Like, should I talk to her about it?”

“Probably.”

“Okay, that’s next item on the agenda. Still, what can I do to help you? Let you ravage me, raid my bunny hutch?”

Josie sighs, “I’m okay. Got most of the aggression out just now. I got a question. Do you really see me as monster?”

“Of course I don’t. You are just terrible at admitting your feelings. Ah, before you snap, I’m not teasing. I think the loss of humanity transformations, like my bunny girl one and your wolf girl one, are more than just physical. It’s done something to us mentally, getting us in the mindset of one born like what we are. I know I wasn’t this horny all the time back home. I went months without getting laid no problem. Now? If it wasn’t for the fact that my magic requires a level of sexual restraint, I could just spend all day having sex or jilling off when none of you are available. I’m sure you’re feeling something like that? Having a harder time showing restraint? Having difficulty holding back some anger? Because you’ve gotten pretty dark a couple of times already. I don’t want to lose you to that. So, please. Talk to us. Scarlet is probably more qualified for that sort of thing, but you can talk to me, too. Or Harper. Talk to her, tell her how you feel, and kiss her already. You would both be happier with that out in the open.”

“I just need the right moment, Tina. And trying to **** it isn’t working. Next date I get, I’ll tell her. Okay?”

“Good. Seriously, did you want to ravage my bunny hutch?”

Josie sighs again. I love this goofball, but sometimes... “Let’s hit the showers.”

Harper

Harper finds herself in that film noir hallway again, in the same Bergman dress. For some odd reason, the mirror in the hallway she used to embrace her femininity for the first time is covered up. Focusing on herself, every muscle, every joint aches; her bones even itch. She grits her teeth and struts forward regardless. No glitches and resets this time is appreciated. Soon enough, she’s at the door.

“May I have my normal clothes now?”

The door window displays: No. Sighing (oh, that hurts!), Harper opens the door to see the expected PI office. In too much pain to care at the moment, she flops down into the comfortable chair set up for her. Soon enough, the producer feels present in the shadows, her eyes glowing in the darkness.

“Do we need another lesson in lady-like behavior?”

“Not in the mood, Ms. E. Not in the mood for any of this. Could I speak with the real you instead of addressing this facade?”

“Find your wife in the reverie. Perhaps speaking to her goddess there may suit you. For now, we have business, Ms. O’Connor. And, before you ask, there will simply be too many Mrs. O’Connors for me to address you as such, despite your marital bliss. Congratulations on your first of many marriages.”

“Thank you. Are the others okay? Outside of one brief flash of consciousness, I was out of it, but it didn’t exactly seem like Skye and the rest were in a good place when I blacked out. Could you at least do something for the mind-wracking pain I’m in?”

“Everyone is safe and sound back on the set. Your wife and future wives are all working on relieving your immense pain right now. It will ease in time. Shall we begin our business?”

“Fine. What do you need?”

“Two things. The more immediate item first, then the long-term one. What do you intend to do about Ms. Rodriguez?”

Añil. Harper winces as her sigh causes another jolt of pain. “I’m under the impression that there is nothing I can do for Añil at this point.”

“While she will be eliminated in the morning, the nature of her elimination has not been set yet. Such a matter requires my approval as producer and neither the submission I got from the writing staff nor the extremely poorly written one from Ms. Petersen meets my standards. Both options are too cruel and, in the case of the one Ms. Petersen wrote, would remove Ms. Rodriguez from your service. As much as I hate this game, it must be completed. So, I wish for you to propose an elimination transformation. Surely, the fact that you must live with the consequences will prevent you from being too vindictive.”

“And what if I would just want to set her free? Let her go?”

“It will not be allowed. Do you want the game reason or the reason from Skye’s goddess?”

“Both, I suppose.”

“The game reason is that the rules are very clear on the matter. They are all bound to you for the rest of your collective lives, even her. You can no more remove her than you can remove your own gills. The reason from Skye’s goddess is that, since you spared her life, you are responsible for her subsequent actions. The evils she would commit for **** would be on your head too. Consider this an act of divine justice, if it makes you feel better.”

“You’re telling me I should have killed her back there?”

“If you killed her, we would be having a very different conversation. This is the more pleasant of the two.”

“Understood. So, my failure to woo her, to save her from that fox guy’s corruption, my responsibility for her fate.”

“Essentially. And it will be good practice for my long-term business, too.”

I’m going to regret this, aren’t I? The pain is subsiding, at least. Too slowly for my taste, but still... “Which is, Ms. E?”

“When I agreed to take this role as producer, I was not allowed to take it just for your season. I had to sign a contract to produce several of them. So, I am in need for more sets. More staff. More hosts. And, as someone who has gone through this, I think you would make an excellent candidate. I would like you to consider hosting a season for me. This is purely optional, of course; I will continue to handle your season as I have been regardless of your decision.”

This is insane. Why would I ever want to... Then again, that might be the point. Clarify some things first. “Wait, how would that even work?”

“I plan on sending you, your wife, and your future wives to a realm quite different from your own after the season is done. Specifically, to a small coastal Queendom that needs rescue from quite the army of monsters. I’m sure you will wish to save many innocent lives to start to compensate the multiverse for all that you have been given here. As you establish yourselves in your new home, you will prepare a set, either there or in a pocket dimension like this one. When the time is right, you assemble your cast. I already have an initial outline for you for your first season’s premise that should pique your interest. If I must tolerate this abysmal show, I will bend the results as close to good as I am able.”

“Do you need an answer now?”

“Knowing you are with me will make some of the decisions I need to make about this one easier.”

So, less optional than at first blush. “Let me see the premise.”

A paper appears, floating in Harper’s vision. The text, written in perfect elvish in a flowing hand, shocks the sea elf momentarily out of her pain. “Are we in accord on this then?”

“How could I turn my back to that? Fine. Get us through the rest of this season and I’ll host for you. But there is something we need to deal with first.”

Harper senses the entity hiding in the shadows is quite pleased. “Ms. Petersen has not stepped up to meet my expectations. I already have a plan to deal with her. I’ll tell you this. She has hosted her last show event, save one.”

“Great. Do I even tell the rest of them about this little deal of ours?”

“After the season is over, if you wish. For now, you have an elimination to write. Sibyl is on call should you need data to help you. I’ll see you at the challenge. Take it easy, Ms. O’Connor.”

Harper struggles to stand and walk, body still aching all over. She hobbles her way to the door, turning back to look at the shadowy figure behind the desk one more time. Next time, can we just drop the pretense and talk with me as you really are?

Daphne

“You’re in my spot, Ms. Daphne.”

Daphne looks up from checking on Harper’s vitals to see Skye politely, but firmly, standing before her.

“I’m watching her for signs of trouble, Skye. You understand that I’m doctoring for the doctor, right?”

“Sorry. Just thought that, as her wife, it’s my responsibility to take care of her. I got a cool towel for her forehead. One of these always helped me feel better when I was sick.”

“Well, I can see myself being assistant to my Beloved’s wife for a bit, if you want. Sit on my lap. We can take care of her together.”

The drow climbs into the mermaid’s lap. Skye places the cool towel on Harper’s forehead, then brushes some of her now green hair out of her eyes.

“Now that everything is calm, can you tell me what happened? Harper is going to want to understand why she’s blue now.”

Skye describes everything to the best of her ability. Daphne listens intently. Summoning her spellbook, she starts ritually casting Detect Magic. Sure enough, residual necromantic magic floods Harper’s body in addition to the residual healing magics. “If I have to guess, when your goddess brought Harper back to life, either she decided to flush out the last bits of humanness in Harper’s form or the spell did it for her. Either way, full sea elf now. See the webbing on her fingers? That wasn’t there before either. Shouldn’t be too different for her, but it will take a little adjustment. I hope she’s on the more air tolerant side; most sea elves can’t survive even a day outside of salt water. We’re going to have to watch out for that.”

“Well, if The Lady willed it, I suppose she’ll be okay. There might be something in the shop to extend her air tolerance. That is a weird concept. How does air affect you?”

“Makes me kind of human, with the transformation. Previously, I could handle being out of the water for a few hours before it started to hurt, but, then again, my tail made it so I had difficulty getting all that far away from the water in the first place. But, I’m not the best point of reference for this. Mermaids are supposed to be somewhat amphibious. We need to survive air exposure to hunt for testicles. The pain I felt from being out of the water for too long was never more than a dull ache in the gas bladders that we use to breathe in air. Sea elves typically spend the entirety of their lives underwater. They can handle air exposure to a point, but are not intended to be on the land for very long.”

Josie and Tina walk in, looking like they had a couple’s shower. The bonny bunny bounds over to ask, “Hey, Skye? What was with the whole ‘Breed Me Now’ thing you did to me twice tonight?”

Daphne can feel the drow’s blood boil from her lap. “Sorry, Ms. Tina, if I made you uncomfortable. My magic is connected to nature and, when I hit zero, it’s like I have to be fertilized, seeded, bred in order for the magic to be able to fill me again. And, since you were only providing moral support to help, my special place said ‘Have the bunny breed you.’”

“Nope, Skye, none of that ‘Ms. Tina’ stuff anymore. New family rule: if you boinked her, you gotta be more than friends with her.”

“Sorry, Josie, but what does ‘boink’ mean?”

“It means sexy fun times. Oooh, is this like a secret club? The ladies who boinked Skye?”

Dinah and Scarlet walk in too. Scarlet’s face looks messy. Very messy. “That rule apply for everyone, or just Skye? I’m fine with it either way.”

“Why wouldn’t it apply to everyone? But, I guess we can wait until Harper is up to decide that in the morning.”

Skye stands up. “If you don’t mind, Ms. Daphne, I’ll take first watch. You all get some sleep, okay?”

“Wait, Skye, you’re just going to sit in the dark and watch Harper? That seems... weird.”

“I got very good darkvision, Ms. Tina. And I only need a few hours of reverie. Most of you need light to check on Harper and all of you need a good night’s sleep. So, I’ll stay up to make sure my wife is still okay. I won’t be able to rest without knowing someone is watching her anyways.”

The bonny bunny gives Skye a big smooch on her cheek, then bounds over Harper and into the middle of the bed. Everyone else gets in bed in a more sensible manner. Skye sits back in the chair by Harper and brushes her hair. Once everyone is settled, Skye gets up to turn off the lights.

“Good night. Thank you for all that you’ve done for my wife tonight. I’ll make a special breakfast in the morning.”