The Squid and the Schemer

I blinked awake—or what felt like awake—and found myself barefoot on a floating rock, suspended in a dazzling field of stars and violet mist. It was breathtaking, the kind of view that would’ve made even the most cynical soul pause. Light shimmered in slow spirals above and below, like the universe itself had decided to flex. Seeing it for the first time like this, I couldn’t help but be awed.

And of course, there she was. The Dream Visitor. The default version. Female drow, beautiful eyes, voice perfect for reading bedtime stories, draped in luxurious clothes. I had skipped through the character customizer, mostly because it was a semi-friendly mindflayer in disguise. It kinda ruined the allure. At least for me.

“I came just in time, you're transforming,”

“Let me stop you right there,” I said, raising a hand. “We both know you're not what you look like.”

She paused. Smiled faintly. “Likewise.”

That caught me off guard for half a second. Then I narrowed my eyes. “Alright, so we’re skipping the coy act tonight. I can work with that.”

“Refreshing,” she said.

“Flattering,” I quipped. “You’re the squid under the mask, right?”

“In essence.”

“And you’ve been poking around up here.” I tapped my temple. “Figured you might’ve noticed I’m not exactly local.”

“I’ve noticed,” she said. “Your thoughts... lack familiar structure.”

"Yeah, so are you planning on messing up my whole thing?”

She tilted her head. “Clarify.”

“My companions,” I said. “I’m slowly building a devoted, charmingly dangerous harem. It’s a long game. Lots of nuance. Don’t want you stomping all over it with cosmic tentacle nonsense.”

She was quiet for a beat. “I am... indifferent to your indulgences. So long as they do not conflict with the larger goal.”

“Which is?”

“The Absolute must fall.”

“Right, I can help with that. Since we’re not in each other’s way, let’s work together.”

“You wish to formalize an alliance?” she asked, tone skeptical.

“Call it mutual understanding. You won't interfere with my schemes and I will deal with the Absolute. In time.”

Her smile returned. “Very well. But alliances often have... clauses.”

“Just one. Lae’zel.”

“The githyanki.”

“She’s loyal to Vlaakith. A problem for both of us. She wants to go to the creche, dig this thing out of her head. That’s a bad idea.”

“I am aware.”

“You can nudge dreams, right? Give her a nudge. Maybe show her your real form. Let her stew on the fact that she’s not as far from tentacles as she thinks.”

“That would be... disturbing.”

“Exactly. Fear motivates her. You know that.”

“She may lose trust.”

“She never had much to begin with. This keeps her in the party, under my influence, away from her creche.”

“And if I refuse?”

“I start talking to Vlaakith. Let her dig around in the cool little trinket Shadowheart is hiding. See what happens.”

The mask flickered for just a second. I caught the hint of something less pretty. More... squiggly.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t test me, I have enough to deal with as is. Help me keep her in line and I'll steer clear of the Gith fort.”

She took a long, slow breath—if mindflayers even breathe. “Fine. I will consider your suggestion. But in return, no more deception.”

“Agreed. I know you tried to honeypot me earlier. Fair game. But from here on, let’s keep the cards on the table.”

“No more secrets, then,” she said. “We are... aligned. For now.”

Her form began to fade into empty space as the dream unraveled.

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

I woke to the dull glow of coals, the sound of Karlach snoring somewhere nearby, and a strange, lingering satisfaction. I had just negotiated a dream deal with a brain squid in a nice dress.

Let's see what else the new day brings.