The Blade That Binds

The apartment hummed quietly around me, my old computer doing its best to keep up. The glow from the monitor washed over a desk piled high with junk food wrappers and empty soda cans. None of it mattered right now. A new patch had just dropped.

PATCH 8.666: NEW WARLOCK SPECIALIZATION - SEX BLADE

The notes scrolled past in dramatic, blood-red font:

"Forge pacts of flesh and mind. Conquer without ****. Dominate through irresistible pleasure."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Someone's having fun in the dev team."

Scrolling down, I spotted the real details:

New Class: Warlock (Sex Blade specialization)

• Primary Damage: Psychic (Inflicts lust, overwhelms senses)
• Signature Ability: La Petite Mort — Instead of killing enemies, attacks overwhelm them with pleasure, leaving them **** but alive.
• Passive Trait: Advantage on Charm attempts against female characters.

Absurd. Ridiculous. Absolutely what I wanted to try.

I clicked "Create Character" without hesitation and skipped the cut-scene where I get the brainworm **** in through my eye. Human, male, muscular build. Golden eyes. I hovered over the name field, smirked, and just accepted the default: Tav.

As I hit "Confirm," the screen flickered and a strange message popped up:

"Do you accept the true pact?"

For whatever reason I mumbled "Sure," and instantly the monitor erupted in blinding gold light. I barely had time to flinch before it felt like the chair was yanked out from under me, and I was falling. Down, down into a swirling golden void.

I woke up coughing. My face was pressed against something wet and sticky. My body was slimy, tangled up in what looked like a living cocoon. Around me, everything pulsed like the inside of some huge creature. Tentacles twitched and slithered along the walls. The air smelled metallic and thick.

I instantly recognized the interior of the Nautiloid. An alien mind flayer spaceship traveling through hell, at this moment being attacked by all kinds of hellspawn, Somehow, impossibly, I was in Baldur's Gate 3. And I was Tav, with a newly acquired brainworm working its way around inside my skull. Great.

The pod I was stuck in gave a violent shudder and split open, dumping me onto the floor with a squelch. I pushed myself up, trying not to gag.

A shimmering HUD popped into my vision.

CLASS: Warlock (Sex Blade)

PATRON: Unknown (Connection Established)

Before I could even blink, a voice spoke directly into my mind. Smooth, rich, and lazy, like silk sliding across bare skin.

"Welcome, my beautiful blade. I am Graz'zt, and you are mine. You have been chosen as a true connoisseur of perversion, a rare vessel worthy of my gifts. You will spread my influence in this world, from which I have been unjustifiably barred. Together, we shall bring ecstasy and ruin to this pitiful world."

I rubbed my temples. Great. Voices in my head already. But even as I thought it, a low, thrumming power vibrated through my veins. It was real. All of it was real.

A grunt from across the room snapped me back to the present. A pod, just like mine, hung split open. A woman stumbled out, tall and lean, her body taut with wiry strength honed for battle. Her skin was a pale greenish-gray, stretched over sharp, angular features that made her look almost sculpted rather than born. Messy greenish hair clung wetly to her face, framing piercing yellow eyes that burned with feral intensity. She wore exotic alien armor, crude but functional, wrapped tightly around her lanky frame. Every movement she made crackled with tension, like a drawn bowstring, and her expression was a mask of barely restrained ****.

Lae'zel.

Seeing her up close was something else. She was all sharp angles and tightly wound ****, like a blade given form. She caught sight of me immediately. Her eyes narrowed, and her hand hovered over the sword strapped to her back.

We locked eyes.

I lifted my hands slowly in what I hoped looked like a peaceful gesture. "Easy. We're both stuck here. Better to work together, right?"

For a second, I thought she might attack anyway. But she grunted, lips curling in disgust, and looked away.

[Approval: Neutral - Slightly Negative: 42] [Corruption: 4%]

The strange overlays pulsed faintly in the corner of my vision. I blinked, and they faded just a little — still there, still tracking.

Lae'zel wiped slime from her face and straightened up. "You are infected. I am infected. We are no better than mind flayer larvae."

"Which means we either find a cure," I said, "or we get turned into one of those tentacle-faced things."

She studied me for a moment longer, then nodded sharply. "You will follow my commands until we are free."

I shrugged. "Sure. Lead the way, fearless leader."

Another explosion rocked the ship, this one closer. A sharp, metallic screech tore through the air. The Nautiloid was falling apart.

Lae'zel growled low in her throat and stomped off toward the door, sword in hand.

I smiled to myself and followed.

The game had changed.

And I intended to use it to my advantage.