I’m too tired for this drama

“Nope, not doing this. No way, no how. No duels, nah. Not feeling you.” John shook his head, even though his hands didn’t leave his bow, his body still tensed to continue the fight if needed. Whoever this was, she was angry, and angry people tended to not take kindly to being rejected or so John knew.

“I’m not giving you an option, you took my vengeance from me! You set them free without paying for their crimes! Honour must be restored!” the woman screamed at him.

“Look, you said that twice now! I did kill some orcs; had I known that they were spoken for, I’d probably not have killed them but how was I supposed to know that!?” John yelled back. “I’m sorry alright! Can we, like, talk about this? I have had a fucking long day and I kinda, really, don’t wanna fight anymore.” Exhaustion started to seep into his voice at the end there.

The woman crossed her arms, eyebrows creased and nostrils flaring. As John expected, she was still very angry. “You want to speak? You admit you killed those who were mine by right, yet you want to talk about it!?” Her muscles bulged out slightly as her fingers clenched and unclenched, her eyes watching John like a hawk.

“Yeah, basically, yes.” John nodded as he said so.

The woman’s eyes looked around the battlefield, littered with corpses and robots. Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Fine.” The word, almost spat at him, was accompanied by a long hiss.

“Wait, really? That never works in games…” John muttered to himself. His brain returning to the orcs he had fought before, he suddenly noticed some similarities, which he was convinced to not voice right then and there. After talking to himself, he hesitantly got into a more upright position and spoke once more, out loud this time, “So, ehm, hi. I’m John. I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding.”

“Fota. Fota of clan Thundersmile. Last of her line, avenger of a dead clan, seeker of repentance and sworn opponent of the pisspup Emanuel La Vache,” the woman replied, shaking her shoulders loose as she jumped off the struggling Bob, landing a few feet in front of John.

“Is that entire thing your name? Or…” John asked, slowly lowering his bow while Ilis kept her crossbow aimed at the woman.

With another long sigh, the woman shook her head. “Just call me Fota. You wanted to speak, so speak before I decide that this was a waste of time.”

“Well, you see, I already said I didn’t know they had done something to you. I was out hunting, came across this group of orcs, and well. As you do, one thing led to another and before you knew it, they were mostly dead. If that was something I shouldn’t have done, then I’m REALLY sorry. However, it’s not like there was a sign above each orc that said, ‘Do not kill, target of **** by someone else,’ you know?” John gave a helpless little shrug. “I get that you’re mad, I’ll even apologise a few more times if that makes you feel better. But for the love of Gaia, Artemis, Cernunnos, and Hemet, can we, like, not try to kill each other? If you want, I will even try to make it up to you. Someone already tried killing me today, and if you really, really want to go ahead, can you please just get in line and try again tomorrow? I think one **** attempt a day should be plenty,” John rattled off, mentally going down the day that today had been. This morning with Cyn, afternoon fighting of a birdman and some roasted pervert, seeing the wild hunt camp, and then fighting for his life against two monsters. Hell, there were videogame characters that had easier days than he had had today. While his body felt fine thanks to his powers, he definitely started to feel the mental drain catch up to him.

Fota stared at him, her mouth slowly dropping open as the person she had been hunting just rattled off the most incoherent string of words she’d heard to this day, which was saying something as she had had dealings with the orcs of Meltarian Castle before. The most meaningful thing she could say in response was, “Come again?”

“Which part?” John asked as a small smile appeared on his lips, hidden by his mask as they were.

“He has that effect on people,” Ilis chimed in, finally lowering her crossbow too. Toph, at this point, popped up out of the ground and released Fota’s weapon with a cheerful peep.

“Ok, short version. I’m sorry. I’m new to this, and I wanna make it up to you. Oh, and I’m tired.”

“This was not how I expected this to go. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected you to actually apologise. You swear upon the gods you just mentioned that you had no knowledge of my sworn vengeance?” Her eyebrows rose in a questioning manner as John’s pitfall skill came undone, the monstrous guinea pig finally freed from his trap.

“Ehm, yes? I swear upon the gods heckling me as we speak that I had no idea you had unfinished business with them. If I had known, I’d probably have just left the way I came without going after them, I promise,” John tried in a small voice. The fatigue took hold further and further as tension slowly got replaced by exhaustion.

Fota’s lips started to twitch, her shoulders started to shake, looking from the sour looking Bob to the confused looking John only to finally burst out laughing. Long, hard bursts of laughter echoed through the cave that had been a battlefield just before. She eventually doubled over clutching her stomach as burst after burst kept coming without end. Tears eventually rolled down her cheeks. “You should see the way you’re looking right now, like a puppy about to be whipped. You’re too precious, John. Okay, how about this,” she started only to be interrupted by a few more giggles.

Fota wiped her tear stained cheeks. Most of the tension that had been in her body was gone by now too. ”You want to make it up to me, yes? Good.”

“Of course. Hey, I’m not sure exactly what they did to you, or what I took from you in that regard, but if I fucked up, I’d rather fix it than to, you know, make you into an enemy. I just hope you don’t mean to drag me off to help you right away.”

“Don’t worry, that would be too impolite, you’re tired after all, right?” Fota winked at him as she said that. “I’ll come find you soon. Count on it. Try not to get assassinated before then, okay?” With those words, she whistled sharply, took an exaggerated jump backwards and landed squarely on Bob’s back.

As she rode off, John called after her, “Find me? You don’t even know where I live!”

“I found you before, didn’t I? See you soon, slayer of orcs and droids. Rest well!”

And with that, Fota was gone. As quickly as she had rushed into their business, she seemed to be out of it again.

John looked over at Ilis, then at the mess all around them. “How about we just clean up here and go back to camp? I wasn’t lying when I said I was tired, you know.”