Too much, too quickly

Scott was inside his own head for his entire run back to the Carter house. He had been oblivious to Jenn when he was young. In the Army, Amanda had come on strong and he had fallen for her right away. He came back and Suzie was very forward with her intent and he was dating her. Was it a mistake? Their chemistry was fantastic, but she was 18, heading to college. He and Amanda had great chemistry, or at least he thought they did, until he left and she didn’t follow, and she found other men. . .

He felt the panic, crushing him, Suzie going to New York, long distance wouldn’t be enough, she starts seeing guys there on the side. . .

Scott shook himself out of it, slowed his run to a reasonable pace, let his heart rate come down a bit. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again, if it came to it he’d let Suzie go, let her do whatever she wanted in college. He wouldn’t try to hold onto something, **** her to be alone, set himself up like that again. He just had to keep his feelings in line, remember that there was an expiration date on this relationship.

He ran up the driveway and in the front door. He’d normally go straight to the basement, but he didn’t.

“Hey Scott, have a good run?” It was Suzie. She was in the kitchen.

“Yeah, sorry to run out on you like that.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said, closing the gap between them and kissing him. “I’m fine with you running in the morning, as long as you aren’t running off to see some sexy older lady.” She said with a smile.

“No, just stopped at Martha’s for a bit, saw her light on.”

She looked at him, “Wow, I didn’t mean. . .”

“What?” Scott asked when she didn’t continue.

“Nothing, just kiss me and tell me if you want another sandwich or not.”

Scott complied, “I would love a sandwich.” He said, then kissed her again. She kissed him back hard, needy.

“You need a shower Scott.” She said when she broke the kiss.

“Yeah, I know.” Of course he did, after what they did last night and a run this morning, he had to stink.

He headed downstairs as Suzie started making him breakfast. He showered quickly, his doubts and worries erased by the promise of another one of Suzie’s breakfast sandwiches. When he was dried off and dressed he was starting to smell breakfast.

“Sausage this time?” He asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Mhm,” She said, assembling his sandwich. She brought it to him then went and poured a cup of coffee.

“Damn Suzie, this might be better than yesterday’s.”

She just smiled at him as she set the coffee down in front of him.

She sat down, rested her chin in her hands and stared at him.

Scott chewed his second bite of sandwich, took a drink of his coffee, a rich, smooth blend.

“You okay Suzie?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She replied, but her eyes told another story, she was worried about something. He wanted to push, but it was better to let her figure out her feelings before asking for them.

“I mean it Suz, this sandwich might be even better.” The sausage was just the right level of spicy and this time it was on a croissant, the buttery-ness, the cheese, whatever her secret ingredient was, it all came together so well.

“Well, after what yesterday’s sandwich got me, what’s today going to bring?” She asked, hiding whatever she was thinking behind a smile.

“Shit, I might not be able to afford both you and these sandwiches.” Scott said with a laugh. Suzie just looked sad.

“I’m going to New York, Scott.”

“Not for a few months right?”

“Yeah, not till January, but still, I’ll be gone for months.” Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

“I know Suzie, It’s not a surprise.”

She broke down crying. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Warning bells went off in Scott’s brain. They had been an item for hours, not even a full day, they had sex last night and now Suzie’s worried about them splitting up months from now? This wasn’t good.

“Suzie, that’s months from now.”

“I know.” She said, her face and voice serious. “How much worse is it going to be then?”

Scott just looked at her, he didn’t have an answer for her.

“Scott, I woke up this morning and you weren’t there and I panicked, thought I had done something wrong. I know you go running, I trust you, and yet I cried in my bed like an idiot.”

Scott came around the table and held her.

“I don’t want you to go to work, I don’t want you to go running, I want you to be here, holding me.” She cried. “How is that healthy? How am I going to survive going to New York after I’ve had you for three months?”

There it was, the 18-year-old girl. The one who’d never had a serious relationship, and he’d done all that he did last night, slept in her bed, let her make him breakfast.

“Shit, Suzie, I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to apologize for, I’ve never been this happy in my entire life.” Scott held her tight, suppressing the desire to break out laughing. She was sobbing into his chest, it didn’t seem like she was happy.

“I should have eased you into this, last night was intense, and amazing, but we probably would have been better off having a first date, being casual a bit before we got that serious.”

“I wouldn’t change anything we did yesterday Scott.”

“I know, but we are far too attached and I haven’t built up enough trust for that.”

“What?”

“We are already pretty intimate Suzie, and yet really, how well do we know each other? I just found out yesterday that you are going to be a lawyer, that’s incredible and I didn’t even know it.”

“What if I don’t?”

Scott just looked at her, curious.

“I mean, what if I don’t go to New York. I could get a job here, we could get a place. . .”

“Oh Suzie, Scott said, kissing her hair, I can’t let you give up on your dream like that.”

“I don’t care about all that Scott, I want you.” She interrupted.

“I’m incredibly flattered Suzie, but that’s right now. Whether you end up a lawyer or not, that needs to be a decision that isn’t about me. I won’t let you do that, I’ve seen too many people give up too much only for relationships to fail and then they are left with nothing but regret.”

“I just. . .”

“You kids okay?” It was Mr. Carter.

Suzie’s entire demeanor changed in a flash. “Yeah dad,” she said wiping her eyes, “I’m good.”

And just like that, the conversation was over.