When WAS the first time he saw her breasts?

"When did I see your tits for the first time anyway? For real I mean."

I smirked. "You really don't remember, John? I'll give you a hint: it was right after the first time I saw your penis."

A smile slowly overtook John's face. "Oh! Miami! The beach trip!"

I smiled back at him. "Yes, that little spur-of-the-moment vacation we took. We met up on that beach along with-"

We both said the names at the same time as John finished my sentence alongside me. "Mika and Bobby!" We laughed a bit at our synchronicity, then excitedly began recounting that day together.

It had all started when Gary's childhood best friend Mika and her husband Bobby invited us to join them for a beach weekend in Miami. They had booked two suites but the other couple they were going with had something come up at the last minute. It was a great deal, we only had to pay for our flights. I was delighted... until we landed in Miami and we checked our texts. Apparently John would also be joining us, as he had heard about the trip and invited himself along. He said he would be arriving in a few hours and he would stay in Mika and Bobby's suite. The presumptuousness of that assertion was enough to make my blood boil, but Mika and Bobby just texted back "Okay! See you soon!" Apparently they were used to his antics.

Ever since the housewarming I had been dodging John as best I could, and in that moment I was about ready to go straight to the ticket counter and book the next flight home. However, Gary really needed the break from work. I knew if I asked him he would forego the trip without complaint, but when I looked over and saw that sheepish look, I just said "Fine, I'll deal with him."

Then we grabbed a taxi and made our way to the suite. It was very nice, cozy and tropical. We unpacked our things and changed into our swimsuits. Gary wore a pair of bright red swim trunks, a black swim shirt, and green sandals. I wore a very modest blue one-piece that covered everything from my mid-thigh to the top of my collarbone, held up by a pair of shoulder straps, as well as a pair of green sandals matching Gary's. As I looked at myself in the mirror I thought: Surely John won't try anything inappropriate when he sees me wearing something this unrevealing. Ha.

We made our way down to the private beach connected to the resort and looked around for the other three members of our little group. It was a lovely beach. Due to the exclusive access there were no rowdy drunks or partiers. Oh, and since the resort was adults-only, the beach was too, which was nice. It was mostly retirees, with a healthy sprinkling of upper-middle class DINK couples and young newlyweds. We figured it would be easy to locate our group, but I didn't know just how easy it would be until I spotted John approaching us with a jovial wave. I gasped and clutched Gary's arm as I registered what I was seeing.

John was completely nude. Well, not completely nude, he was wearing sandals. Other than that though, he was stark naked. My breath hitched in my throat as I watched him walk toward us, totally carefree, his exposed penis bobbing just ahead of him. In the time it took him to walk into earshot, that was all I could think: "He's naked. He's naked in public. He has no clothes. There are so many people around. They can all see him. Why is nobody looking? Wait, that person looked. Then she looked away. Why did she look away? She clearly saw him. Naked. With no clothes."

Eventually I heard Gary say "Hey, John, good to see you!" which snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked over at Gary in confusion. Didn't he notice? Why wasn't he reacting? Couldn't he see that John's penis was out? I looked back at John and recoiled again. "Oh dear god," I thought, "he's erect. I can see it now that he's closer. He's walking toward us with a full erection sticking straight out in front of him. He's just parading it around in front of everyone. What the hell?"

This train of thought continued until he closed the distance and reached Gary. They hugged, carefully-side-hugging at an angle so Gary could avoid contact with John's protruding penis. That was when my mind fixated once again on yet another disturbing detail. "Oh my lord in heaven that is the largest penis I have ever seen." I have always found pornography distasteful and have not seen more than a few pornographic videos, but in that moment John's penis reminded me of the penises I had seen on porn actors. I had always assumed penises never really got that big, and that those films employed camera tricks to make the actors appear, well, larger than life. Yet as John pulled away from Gary and turned toward me, I was **** to confront the reality of it. At the time I thought it must be a foot long (though now of course I know that's ridiculous and it's really just a bit over ten inches) and almost as thick as my wrist (which was accurate.) Slightly thicker, though, was the base of the bulbous pink head protruding from his foreskin. My head swam with questions. "Why does he have that out? Why is he pointing it at me?

Why..."

John waited patiently I paused my recollection. There was another question that crossed my mind at the time, but I could not remember it. "Drat, and I remember being very perplexed by it. If only I remembered, I could ask you now."

"Eh, it was a while ago. Hey, why were you so wound up about my dick being out anyway?"

"I... hmm. That's funny, I can't quite remember that either. Most of the things I got upset with you about back then were things you did to me, or someone else. Obviously overreactions in retrospect, but I can at least recall my logic. Why did I ever get upset about you choosing not to put clothes on your own body? Was I really so... puritan?"

"Yeah, that's what I was always thinking!"

"Goodness, how embarrassing. Well, I appreciate your patience in waiting for me to get over all that. Speaking of which, you had just walked up to me and Gary, letting your erection bob ahead of you like a dowsing rod..."

I was too shocked to speak, trapped staring in horrified silence at John's not-so-little soldier standing proudly in front of him. I was only shaken from my reverie when I felt a pair of hands grab my breasts from outside my swimsuit and give them two rough squeezes. "Honk, honk! Hey Mary, the light's green!"

I stumbled back and blushed as I looked back up with John, whose distinctive guffaw was ringing in my ears. (Gary was letting out a similar laugh, but a quick glare from me caused him to clam up quickly.) "John! First of all, don't touch me. Second of all, you're... not wearing anything!"

"Nope!"

I stared at John with abject confusion, my eyes flicking repeatedly between his happy smile and his angry erection. He looked at me with bemusement as I failed to process his short non-answer. Finally, Gary spoke up. "John doesn't usually wear a swimsuit to the beach or the pool or, well, ever really. He's just always preferred to go au naturel. Heck, after a while Mom just stopped buying swimsuits for him, since he never wore them anyway!"

I could almost hear the gears grinding in my own head as I watched Gary playfully punch John as if he had just shared a cute story, and not complete lunacy. I did a 360, looking at the crowd around us. "But... we're on a public beach. There are so many people here, nobody's..."

"Oh don't worry honey, he's not shy! I'm always telling you that John is a free spirit. He doesn't care what people think of him. He just does what makes him happy. I've always been proud of him for that!"

I massaged the bridge of my nose as I listened to Gary completely miss my point. He had, indeed, told me that about John before. We had talked about John many times, in fact. I kept asking him to demand John treat me decently just like he would demand that of anyone else. He always responded that John isn't just anyone, and he really is a good guy with an unorthodox way of living. After a while we just buried the issue because we could never seem to reach an understanding, it always led to an argument. I decided in that moment on the beach that avoiding the topic was still the best course of action.

"Gary, my beloved, would you like to go find Mika and Bobby?"

"Oh, good idea! John, would you lead us to them?"

"Nah, I gotta take a piss. You two go ahead, they're just down that way."

Gladly accepting the invitation to no longer be in John's presence, I quickly walked in the direction he indicated, with Gary joining at my side. We walked a short distance and saw the couple we had come to meet. I opened my mouth to greet them, but I was interrupted in the worst way possible.

"BOING!" The loudly-spoken onomatopoeia was the only warning I got before a pair of hands reached out from behind me, grabbed the straps of my swimsuit, and pushed them downward past my shoulders with enough **** to shove the entire top part of my swimsuit down to my lower ribs. I shrieked, drawing the attention of everyone around, as my naked breasts sprang out into the open air. I instantly ran over to Gary. He helpfully shielded my body with his as I quickly shoved my bosom back down into my suit and pulled the straps back into place, although I was horrified to hear that he was stifling a giggle.

He was the only one. Not the only one giggling, the only one stifling it. All around me I could hear chortles and chuckles from strangers, and even Mika and Bobby were laughing lightheartedly as if I had not just been assaulted. My face turned red and tears pricked in my eyes as I turned toward the man who had exposed me, and heard his abominable laugh.

"Haw haw haw! Mary, stop, I'm gonna puke! Haw haw!"

I covered my own laughter as I watched John try to get his charming laugh under control, his erection bobbing pleasantly. I shared his amusement. Looking back, after all we had been through, it was hard to believe I had gotten so upset. "Can you believe I nearly broke out in tears just because of that silly little surprise? Having gotten to know you so well, it's hard to imagine getting so upset at you just because your prank happened to involve uncovering my breasts. If the me from back then could see us now, she'd be flabbergasted!"

John wiped a tear from his eye. "Huh-haw... Yeah, I didn't get why you were so freaked out. If anything, I shoulda been upset! I mean yeah it was funny seeing you all surprised and scampering off to fix your swimsuit, but it meant I had to do it when you were facing away from me. It was kind of a bummer not getting a better look at those two big beachballs you were smuggling in that swimsuit."

"Oh, boo hoo! It's not as if you missed your only opportunity to see them that day."

In the immediate aftermath of John's prank, I simply sat down and stewed, trying to process what had just happened. The others settled in, oblivious to me feeling anything more than mild embarrassment at having been pranked. "Hey Gar-bear, what's up?" "Oh hey, Mika!" "You too, Bobby!" "John, what gives, I thought you had to pee?" "Haw! No way I'm peeing with my dick this hard, and it's not going away anytime soon now that I've caught a peek at your girl's premium jugs." "Heh! Well, my lovely Mary certainly is something else, I'll give you that."

As I watched John wander off to do god-knows-what, my embarrassment and rage turned to spite. I made a decision in that moment. Nobody else seemed to care about John's repugnant behavior, so I wouldn't either. I was not going to spend yet another special occasion meekly hiding away to avoid crossing paths with John. I promised myself then that I was going to enjoy my beach vacation, come what may.

Well, "what may" ended up involving a whole lot of John pulling my swimsuit down and me hurriedly stowing my breasts back into it. He had apparently decided to try and pull them out at every available opportunity. I held my suit firmly in place anytime I saw him coming, but out of a desire to actually enjoy my vacation, I kept letting my guard down. When I was chatting with Bobby he snuck up from my right and pushed my swimsuit away from himself, causing my right breast to pop out the side right in front of Mika's husband. While I was sunning myself with Mika I fell asleep, only to wake up to something blocking my light. It turned out to be John, standing over me with a big grin and a bigger erection, staring at my breasts which he had taken great care to gently slide my suit beneath without waking me. Mika, who had always been hugely supportive of my bodily autonomy and sympathetic to my struggles with objectification, apparently just watched this happen without lifting a finger. She just giggled as I scurried backwards and fixed my outfit and told me to lighten up. When John reached down to yank off her own bikini top I thought she would change her tune, but instead she just said "See? No harm, no foul," and went back to sunning herself sans top. The worst incident came when John and I drew the short straws and were tasked with going to get ice cream for everyone from a nearby stand. I guarded my neckline steadfastly as we walked over. I watched John like a hawk as he took his popsicle and my ice cream from the vendor. Thinking I was in the clear, I carefully took hold of the other three ice creams, and it was at that moment that John popped his popsicle in his mouth and used his now-free hand to yank my swimsuit below my breasts once again. I really should have just dropped the ice cream, but instead I panicked and ran all the way back to our area as fast as I could, my exposed paps bouncing wildly as I went.

Red-faced, I handed off the cones as quickly as I could. As I moved to fix my swimsuit, however, a thought occurred to me: Why bother? Everyone in our group had already gotten at least one good eyeful of my bare chest at that point, not to mention every single person in the nearby vicinity. Mika clearly felt that way, given she never bothered to put her bikini top back on after John ripped it off over an hour prior. At that point, the embarrassment of being topless had been far overtaken by the embarrassment of being repeatedly stripped.

"Oh yeah!" As I got to this point in the story John interjected, scratching his thigh with his left hand and idly stroking himself with his right. "This was when you finally stopped putting your tits away! That was awesome. I figured you'd give up eventually, like, why even bother wearing a top when I'm around? You I'm gonna take those puppies for a walk sooner or later."

I bashfully placed one arm over my chest, as my recollection of old insecurities caused me to fall back into my silly old habit of trying to protect my modesty around John. "Well, truthfully, there was a reason I was so stubborn. You see..."

While contemplating whether to fix my swimsuit for the tenth time that day, I looked down at my nipples. I hated them. I felt they didn't look the way nipples were supposed to look. They were so... brown. Well, logically I knew that brown nipples were normal. At that very same moment, Mika had her hickory-colored nipples exposed and they looked perfectly fine against her dark brown skin. However for some reason, perhaps due to harmful beauty standards drilled into me at a young age by our shallow society, I had always felt like my nipples should be pink, small, and smooth. Not dark brown, as big as saucers, and with areolar glands so pronounced that the nipples themselves barely stand out. I wanted to believe that I was upset about John exposing me, but really, I grew accustomed to that after the second or third time. In fact, I was simply scared that people would see my nipples and be disgusted by them.

When I told him all this, John looked at me with a look of genuine sadness. "Damn... I had no idea. Mary, your nips are fucking awesome! I love looking at them, rubbing them, running my tongue across them while I'm sucking them... I mean, there's a reason I do that shit all the time, you know?"

I shrugged. "Yes well, obviously we hadn't yet established that dynamic back in Miami. Even then though, Gary had already assured me many times that my nipples are beautiful, and you certainly had not given me any reason to question your opinion on them. It was just... well, these feelings are not always rational. Honestly, I credit you with helping me get over that particular insecurity."

John looked curious. "Really? How's that?"

"Well as you said, you never miss an opportunity to interact with them. Whenever you and I are in the same room, it's only a matter of time before you've exposed them to the open air and covered them in your saliva. Well, that or your semen, or both. Anyway, at first I always used to think: 'Gosh, I hope nobody looks in my direction and sees whichever one of my nipples isn't in John's mouth.' Eventually though, I decided that life is too short to worry about the opinions of every random person you strip me in front of. Now I feel that the only people whose opinions about my nipples are worth caring about are myself and Gary. Oh, and you of course."

John reveled in the praise. "Well, Mary, if there's ever a way I can improve your life by pulling out your godlike funbags and playing with your huge teats, you can count on me! Hell, I think I'll help you out right now!"

"John wait, don't-"

My protest was, as always, futile. Before I could even finished my sentence, John had reached down into my bust cups and roughly taken hold of me. I tensed up slightly as I felt the saliva that he had used to lube up his stroking hand smearing across my left breast, but otherwise stayed still as he slid his hands underneath them. With a practiced motion, he yanked upward, pulling my breasts completely out of my wedding dress. He pulled away as they came free, allowing their momentum to continue carrying them upward with enough **** that I felt the tops of them touch my chin, before gravity brought them crashing back down into my chest with an audible thump. Freed from the shape-defining fabric of my bodice, they spread out and flattened against my chest, widening to the point that someone standing behind me would have been able to see the edges of them jiggling with residual momentum. I watched them settle into place with a deadpan look before turning my head up to meet John's, pardon my French, shit-eating grin.

"God damn, I can't believe I got this far into the day without seeing the best tits in the world! Oh, and the best nipples too, by the way," he added with a wink.

I put on the grumpiest look I could manage. "John Doe, do you have any idea how much of a pain it was fit these things into this dress? I'll have you know it is no simple feat. I essentially had to assemble the dress around my bosom, and now I'll have to do so again." I looked back down at my chest in frustration, my eyebrows furrowing as I watched my nipples harden in the open air. My enormous, dark, bumpy nipples, which were, according to a man who has seen quite a few in his time, the "world's best."

I couldn't help but smile shyly as I looked back up. "All that being said... thank you, John, for the compliment. It means a lot. Truly."

"Anytime, Mary. Hey, could you lube this up real quick?" In lieu of explaining that request with words, John then proceeded to step forward, lift up my breasts, and quickly slam them against the sides of his penis with a loud slap. "Fine," I said with some exasperation, "but be quick about it and don't you dare muss up my makeup." I grabbed a nearby cloth and placed it beneath my breasts so that my wedding dress would not be stained as I began drooling down into my own cleavage.