Delve 1, Part 2: Turkey in the Straw

Skye

Everything before the boss room was easy with Francis’ sneak attack plan. The turkeys were never grouped up more than 2 together and, since the alarm was never triggered, were not paying attention. Ms. Tina was frankly bored by everything. Francis looks to have taken things in stride. Is it the militia experience shining through, or the fact that he views the Sacred Texts as just a game and this is a more realistic, but still safe, version of it? Either way, my future lady love’s attitude has calmed my nerves. Magic is still scary, despite The Lady’s insistence that I learn some. Eventually.

Delving Party: + 8 XP each (Killed 8 Level 1 monsters)

The plan for the boss room fell apart the moment it began. It was simple. For our surprise round, Francis takes a bowshot at the minion nearest to what looks to be the boss (even before becoming a cousin surface elf, Francis said he was okay with a compound bow, which is a minor blasphemy, but one she can tolerate), Skye throws her magic sword at the minion nearest them, and Ms. Tina casts her new spell at the minion furthest away from us. Francis hits his target true, spattering the turkey’s face off. Skye’s spends one of her precious charges to auto crit hit her target, and its breast caves in from the impact. And Ms. Tina? Ms. Tina apparently entered the dungeon with no spell points.

At least the panicking Ms. Tina can serve as a bit of a distraction. After the surprise round, Tina and Skye were to take out any extra minions while Francis distracts the boss, which turned out to be a Beckie turkey taller than Francis in a fancier spiked helmet. Tina, running around and begging the turkeys to not eat her soul, does grab the rest of the minions attention. Skye rushes over to retrieve her sword (no need to waste a charge recovering it right now) and spends a second charge to splat the nearest turkey as big as her.

“Get off of that,” Francis shouts. Is the boss turkey trying to bite Francis’ copulation organ off? Ewww.

Ms. Tina’s distraction doesn’t keep her completely safe, as the last turkey does get a good peck in before Skye spends the last of her sword’s charges to kill it.

“Please... stop,” Francis grunts. He starts to looks a bit flustered.

Ms. Tina continues to panic, running to hide behind a giant turkey nest. Skye rolls her eyes and gets her sword back. She looks to Francis, who is not holding up well. His face is flushed and his legs are wobbly. His sword disappears as he makes a last-ditch effort to wrench the giant turkey off of his copulation organ. He’s successful, but takes a giant peck to his leg (somewhat absorbed by some last-second magic) for the effort.

Skye slips behind the turkey and stabs with all her might. She feels herself dodge partially out of the way of the mass of tail feathers that are swung towards her in response.

“Sorry, don’t think I’m going to make it,” Francis grunts as he pulls out a diamond and summons a ball of fire from it. The flames strike the bird hard in the face, only for it to survive and slam its head around Francis’ hard copulation organ again. He falls. Skye’s swing cuts through the air where the turkey’s head was and she takes a wing to the gut.

It’s almost as if the giant turkey is smiling as it sucks on Francis’ copulation organ. Skye, no longer able to rely on roguish sneak attacks, tries a different tact, namely, brute ****. While a short sword is not the best weapon to use to sever through a neck, it’ll do in a pinch. The dread beast is felled. Skye collapses.

A tiny voiced Tina whimpers, “Is it safe to come out?”

Delving Party: + 6 XP each (Killed 4 Level 1 monsters, killed 1 Level 2 monster)

Josie

Having finished her “haul around the lazy fish” duties, Josie heads to the gym. While she can’t access the Master Suite gym without Francis being there, she can check to see if the promised “upgrades” will apply to things beyond the bedrooms.

Josie is quite satisfied to see a heavy bag that matches the ones in Francis’ private gym waiting for her on the regular gym floor. She starts to warm-up, then gets ready to compare her strength to yesterday, now that she had sex with Tina last night. Unfortunately, it looks like she’s no stronger than yesterday’s baseline. Guess they were more serious about the whole “group sex” thing than yesterday implied. Oh well. Just need to start organizing some orgies. Fuck yeah.

She starts to head to the showers, but hears some big band era music. Following her ears, she finds Scarlet in that pole dancing room. Shuddering in embarrassment from last time, she walks in to watch Scarlet finish a flipping jump from one pole to another. The redhead pivots around the new pole and catches a glimpse at the sweaty wolf. She squeezes her legs together to slow her rotation down to a crawl, then arches one leg over her head to get to a standing position on the ground. Josie lets out an appreciative whistle.

“Damn, girl, you really trying to be a stripper?”

“Like my dear old Dad would say, ‘Scarlet, always try your hardest, no matter the job, ‘cause the next job might be worse.’”

“I can hear Francis say something similar. You admitting you got Daddy issues, Scarlet?”

“I’ll have you know my relationship with my parents are generally really good. Sure, there’s some stress with finances. Mom got cancer and Dad, bless him, ended up losing his job trying to take care of her. Trying to not be a burden to them is why I ended up stripping to begin with. But that’s probably not what you came in here to talk about.”

“There I go shoving my foot all the way down my throat again. Sorry.”

Scarlet gives Josie a hug. “It’s okay. Being tactless is part of your charm. Anyways, what’s up?”

“Something weird happened and I wanted to make sure you’re okay with it. So, Tina asked me out on a date this morning and I said yes. You cool with that?”

“I’m the one who encouraged her to do it. I’ll tell you like I told her: so long as I get some girlfriend time with you too, I’m happy if you’re happy.”

“Is it weird that I’m panicking about it a little? I mean, I never actually had a ‘girlfriend’ before. Just hook-ups and semi-regular one night stands.”

Scarlet gives Josie another hug at that and a light peck on the lips. “Was that scary?”

Josie blushes. “A little?”

“Well, maybe a little intimacy will be less scary after some shower sex. Sound good?”

In what is rapidly becoming a signature move, Josie scoops up the redhead and carries her to the gym showers over her shoulder. Scarlet mock yells, “I’m a woman, not a sack of potatoes!” Soon enough, those bellows turn to moans.

Francis

“Ugh. What happened?” Francis groans as he comes to, splayed out on a surprisingly comfy couch.

“Little Miss ‘Ask for Morning Sex’ didn’t tell me how her class works,” Josie states, locking a chastity belt to Tina, who is chained to a bondage frame. Wasn’t Daphne supposed to remove all of those?

“Oh, c’mon, Josie. You’re just too sexy to turn down sex. Don’t lock me up without a toy or three shoved inside first,” Tina moans.

“Not until you apologize for being so reckless with Francis’ life. Right before you go into the dungeon tomorrow.”

Tina continues to pout, “Francis, Josie is bullying me.”

Francis finally sits up and takes stock of the room. A series of couches surround a coffee table full of snacks. A display screen shows highlights from the run (apparently, the point-blank chromatic orb was the play of the game), with a chyron declaring each of the delvers have earned enough XP to level up. And, in a corner, Tina and Josie are making out, with Tina in quite a bit of bondage gear. Skye is nowhere to be seen.

“So, questions before I leave you to it. Daphne about ready for me yet, or will I have time to get ready? Where’d Skye go? Tina, ready to figure out how leveling up works in this crazy thing?”

Josie answers, “Skye texted us when ya’ll got out to let us know what happened; you have another 15 minutes before you are allowed to leave the recovery room; apparently, being downed in the dungeon requires resting time to make sure the healing properties of the room worked. Daphne should be ready for you in about another hour or so; she’ll text when she’s ready. Skye took her part of the loot and headed off. Said she had more things to do. It was actually funny seeing how annoyed she was by Tina’s lack of foresight.”

“Hey! I helped! I was a lookout!”

Francis wants to get the conversation back on some useful topic. “Loot?”

“Yup. Some metal ingots that Skye grabbed, a piercing, some thigh high boots, and a scroll. Skye said to not mindlessly grab things...”

“...Because the items can be cursed. I got Identify. Guess I’ll spend some time checking. And then cross-reference with my DM tablet to make sure Daphne wouldn’t be so cruel as to stick actually cursed items in the first level of the dungeon.”

Piercing first. Hopefully, I don’t need SP, because I don’t want to spend half an hour ritually casting Identify if I can avoid it. There is no hand-waving time skips in real life. Francis spends a SP to cast Identify the fast way. His crotch feels on fire. “This is just the thing for you, Tina. Josie, you can give it to her when you think she’s earned it.” He then reads out the description.

Piercing of the Second Squirt (Level 1): This magical piercing allows the wearer to have an extra reserve of SP. After recovering from the first orgasm stun of the day, the wearer regains [1] SP, if attuned. Leveled items can be increased by meeting set conditions. To level: Edge for 1 hour while having full SP. Must have access to at least second level spells.

“Oooooh, gimme. Gimme, gimme, gimme.”

“Francis, did she really earn a present?”

“I have a way to recover SP on my own. And I did have fun. So, sure.”

Josie presses the piercing onto Tina’s belly button. With a sharp cling, it stabs itself into Tina’s flesh. “Ouchie.” The cheap gems then change into red diamonds shaped like, well, the suit symbol for diamonds. She wiggles her tummy to watch the gems sparkle.

“Wanna see how leveling works?” Francis asks. Tina vigorously shakes her head yes. Francis guides her through the process (insisting that she takes Mage Armor as her spell for Level 2) and, soon enough, Tina hits Level 3.

“Ooooh, my spell points are back. Permission to start leveling my pretty piercing, Josie?”

“Denied.”

“Boo!” That gets Tina a swat on her bare butt. “Ouchie. Francis, make Josie play nice!”

Francis gives Josie a look. Josie smirks. So, this is a game. Josie is not actually angry. I’ll stay out of this, for now. Instead, he texts Skye to see if she was okay. Skye responds faster than he expected, but slower than the average person, with a couple of messages: ‘I’m fine.’, ‘Busy with things. Delve tomorrow?’, ‘Level me up as far as you can. Rogue levels. Keep the Duelist sub-class if we got enough XP for that. We’ll talk about multi-classing into a caster later.’ So, Francis does so.

In the meantime, Josie unties Tina and the two walk out, hand in hand. It’s cute, in a way. It hurts a little to see Josie take so much interest in the bonny bunny, but Francis understands. Despite my improvements today, I’m still inadequate. Still repulsively male.

For himself, he levels once, picking Bladesinger as his subclass. Knowledge washes over him as he gains new spells, an intense understanding of the Bladesong, and, figuring he’ll need something for underwater combat at some point (given Daphne), how to use a trident. He feels his Spell Points restored, so he casts Identify fast twice to get the other items identified. They are definitely both for him:

Mithril Boots of the Battle Mistress: Light, +1 Armor. By clicking the heels three times in rapid succession, the heels of these boots switch from a chunky 2” heel (field mode) to a 4” stiletto heel (parade mode). In field mode, the boots grant advantage on dexterity saving throws when in difficult terrain. In parade mode, the boots grant advantage on seduction (persuasion) checks.

The scroll turns out to be a transformation:

Penis Envy – Francis learns the wizard cantrip Phantom Penis. The penis will default into the exact size and shape of Francis’ penis upon time of gaining this transformation. As Francis’ penis shrinks due to feminization, the phantom penis will grow. The phantom penis will gain potency proportional to it’s current size (so, baseline phantom penis is just as virile as Francis, when the phantom penis doubles in size, it’s virility will also double). Francis will feel stimulation as if the penis was attached to him, but he cannot orgasm from these sensations (Wizard).

Huh. So, that must be Daphne’s solution to a problem I’m not sure I care about solving anymore. Of course I don’t want to solve it. Penises are icky and should all be destroyed. Shut up. It will make her happy. And, who knows, this sex game may require having a floating spectral penis for some reason. Let’s apply it now.

He tries out his new cantrip. Simple enough to cast, an exact copy of his erect penis floats in front of his face. He gently rubs the frenulum. Weird. I feel it as if I’m touching myself. Yet, it’s muted somewhat. Huh? Am I done playing with this disgusting thing? Fair enough. Experiment temporarily over. As quickly as it was summoned, the penis disappears.

He tries to slip on the boots. He really does. But some unseen revulsion keeps him from equipping them. Must be the wardrobe transformation? Since the boots would literally be the only thing I would be wearing? I’ll need to do something about that. My ass will totally pop once I have those stilettos on! Wow, you’re actually capable of not being a complete bitch. Anything that distracts my women from my revolting inadequacy in the pussy department. Nevermind. Shut up.

A quick text conversation with Zoe confirms his suspicion and provides him with a solution. As a final test until he goes and gets ready for his date with a mermaid, he attempts to buy an upgrade to the wardrobe transformation in the dungeon shop. No way of confirming whether Daphne got a commission from it here in the recovery room, but he’ll see her soon enough. He double checks the upgraded text to make sure things worked out correctly:

Clothes Make the (Wo)man +1 – The Master’s wardrobe is so icky and masculine. Let’s fix that. The Master will be given a magical wardrobe that can generate any piece of women’s clothing the Master could desire in the Master’s current size. Items stored in the wardrobe for at least 8 hours shall be incorporated into the wardrobe’s options (after being feminized if necessary). The Master will be compelled to wear at least 20% of the Master’s clothes from the wardrobe anytime the Master wears clothes. Every time a contestant compliments the Master on wearing an item from the wardrobe, The Master will experience arousal. If the contestant compliments The Master sufficiently to cause an orgasm before the game ends, the compulsion to wear wardrobe items increases by an additional 20% of clothing worn, until all items worn must come from the wardrobe (Progress: 1/4).

Francis: - 20 BP

He finishes his leveling to bump himself up to Level 3, regaining the SP he just spent and adding some new Level 2 spells. Heading back to the Suite to store his arcane foci wraps and new boots for tomorrow, he starts hoping that Daphne has some more fun planned. Despite being murdered by attempted blow-job, this first foray into her dungeon went alright. I’m sure she has something more up her theoretical sleeve.