Night of Knights II

Day 6 of The 129th Rasheul Great **** Tournament
03:31 AM

What's the point of lifting weights anyhow?
In this world, I mean. Not that I see that much point with weightlifting either way. I prefer my workout to be more productive than that. Lifting something for five seconds, only to put it right back where it was ain't gonna cut it.

But it's even more pointless on the Continent!
They work by RPG rules around here. You gain strength by leveling up. Muscle conditioning ain't gonna work. So why do people around here even bother?

I'm not gonna deny it, watching Goldfish Knight lift 9 million pounds like nothing blew my mind, but it's never gonna help him lift 10 million pounds.
What matters is going out there in the wild to bother heedless monsters into getting murdered by him.

Now, that's a headscratcher for you.
IF working out has to be about strictly physical improvement. But that's not all there is to it, is there? Maybe it can be testing ones limits, or about building discipline. Or just about not becoming a lazy couch potato. Hell, some people from our world go to the gym just to hang around and be social.
Why should it work differently in this world? Even if they don't have exactly the same reasons to work out, that doesn't mean they've got no reason whatsoever.

Give them a break. How they spend their time when they're not harvesting XP is none of your business. As far as I'm concerned, the less time spent eliminating God's innocent creatures, the better.

And yeah, I know. Real rich coming from me, right? The girl who took it upon herself to repair Bird Brain's sword, just so she could do exactly that.
But that's what friends are for.

Not that I knew how to find her. All I knew was that she was heading for the sky.
Well, as it happens, my new room was in the sky, so that's where I headed next.

When I got back I found neither bird nor brain. Bat Girl was still asleep. As was Max. I took a sharpie and glorified his face with depictions of penises, before looking out the window. The entire city was before me. But no trace of Sanakia. I guess the wings on her temples couldn't manage to get her off the ground.

Well, I decided it was time for some popcorn. Not that I was particularly in the mood for popcorn, but it's going to be a cold day in hell when I miss an opportunity to do some popping in my undies.
I put on my comprehensive playlist of Weird Al nightcore to play on my bluetooth, then slipped a popcorn bag into the frying pan. I hummed in tune with the epic retelling of the most glorious exodus to Minnesota while shaking the pan gently. That's when the first resounding pop broke the serene silence. I winced, stepping back. One pop followed by another. Then another. And another still.

Turns out that popcorn is very loud. In retrospect, not the ideal treat to make in the night. I should've known better. For crying out loud, it's in the name!
The kitchen broke out into a concert of loud pops without rhythm and guidance. I glanced back at Max's bed. Boy, was he gonna be mad for causing such a ruckus at night.

Or so I thought. Instead he slept with earmuffs on. Must have put them on when the noise started. Well, that's a relief. Points to Dong-Face for approaching problems by solving them quietly, rather than complaining loudly.
I caught a whiff of something burning. I turned back to the stove, only to discover a plume of black smoke rising from the bag.
Oh, come on! I only left it for a second! I dumped the bag into the sink and poured water into it. The mission to not burn the airship down was a resounding success, although the popcorn had seen better days.

Tap. Tap. Tap.
I glanced towards the window.
She was there.

"Bird Brain...!" I covered my mouth with my hands. There are times when yelling loudly in the middle of the night is a good idea. Finding an uninvited guest outside your window is not one of them. The Galmon waved at me from behind the other side of the glass.
I rushed towards the window, openning it up, "How did you get all the way up here?"
She smirked, "I should ask you that very question."

I helped her climb inside, before shutting the window.
"It's so nice to see you!" I wrapped her in a hug, "Did you lose weight?"
Of course she lost weight. She no longer wore her full suit of armor. Gone were the steel plates the size of roof shingles that adorned her voluptuous curves. Her new armor didn't even cover as much as my own underwear.
Which by the way were red lace. Very sexy.
"Oh, this?" She sighed solemnly, "I wish there had been some way to achieve my ambition without discarding the precious armour granted by my Lord. Yet as fate would have it, the Sky Island is beyond the reach of those unwilling to forego excess weight. Truly, this sacrifice will not have been in vain."
"Sky Island, you say? So that's why you said... Hang on, are you trying to jump to the sky? Did... Did you get here by jumping?"

"And climbing." She puffed out her chest proudly, "Practice makes perfect. Soon I shall persevere where all have failed for millenia, and recover the Holy Blade Nikkou from the Sacred Island of Ylapu."
I opened my mouth to argue. I was gonna say that jumping is hardly not the best or most realistic way to reach the sky. But clearly it worked out for her, so who am I to dispute her?

"...I've got popcorn." I smiled, fishing the bag out of the sink, "You want some?"
I poured the content into a bowl. It was burned to a crisp and all soggy. I offered the black squishy cake inside the bowl.
She looked away, revolted, "I... Sadly I must refuse. I am bound to live by the frugal diet of a knight, void of such... Indulgences."

She backed away.
I sighed, pouring the burned trash into the garbage bin.

"And besides," She continued, "I did not come here for popcorn."
"Oh, right. Your little sword! Hang on a moment!" I scrambled to the sofa, lifting one of the cushions to recover the sheathed sword underneath.
"So it is true?" She approached hopefully, "You really could mend it?"
My expression twisted to a lopsided frown, "Eh... Well, that's a matter of perspective... Sure it can still do its job, but... Well, just take a look for yourself."

I handed it over.
She gripped the hilt and pulled it out of the scabbard. The blade shimmered in the dim starlight, yet some parts shimmered more than others. Specifically, a golden seam lit up like the sun, its length running the length of the blade like an irregular cobweb. The shards of the sword had joined together by a glistening gold-colored alloy, forming fissures where the blade had cracked. Never again could the damage it endured be concealed. Rather, it was outlined in gold.
"Yeah... Looks like fantasy weapons aren't really my forte." I coughed, "Plus, I was having an off day. Lots of my mind. Sorry."
"No." She slipped the sword back into the scabbard, "I like it this way. It... Suits me."
I smiled in relief.

She strapped the sword to her naked hip, "Now, what is it that weighs on your mind. Has the pressure of being a finalist consumed you?"
"Something like that, yeah. But it's more complicated. Kind of really more complicated..." I sat myself down on the sofa, next to the upended cushion. I relayed to her what had happened. All of it. From my date, to our little time-stopping session, and how the Devil of time had appeared.
She sat next to me and listened to every word, her expression changing from one of enthusiasm, to amusement, then confusion and worry.
By the time I was done, she settled on unbridled wrath.

"That wench!" She shook her fist angrily, "Even as I brought her down to her knees, she had tricks at her disposal yet to be employed! How dare she look down on me even as she lay at the brink of mortality?"
"Well, if if were a gambling woman, I'd bet the Devil just downright didn't feel like being stabbed by your little gold spear. Especially when it's acting funky like that."
"That must be it." Bird Brain said confidently, "Being the cowardly scum they are, it is only natural she would seek refuge from the light of the Holy Lance Jaivardhan."
"Well, no such luck for me, I'm afraid. Without any shiny weapons I'm fair game for the Devil."
"Fear not, my elusive mage!" Sanakia declared, "The solution is self-evident!"
"Oh?" I looked back at her, looking hopeful. Or at least trying to.
"Indeed. For I shall lend you my blade!"
"Eh, thanks but I just got done fixing it. Don't really fancy doing the same job twice."
"Not that one!" She snapped, "I speak of course of the Holy Sword Nikkou! Once I have retrieved it from its eternal hiding spot, no longer shall I nor any of my brethren fear these spawns of evil Your foe shall be slain forthwith, and bask in your glorious triumph!"

I blinked, staring dumbfounded at the Sexy Knight.
"That... Is... Genius! Sanakia, you're a god sent!" I hugged her tightly again, "I was sure I was done for! Can you imagine if I hadn't run into you? I'd be cooked!"
She smirked, gently guiding me away from her, "Miss Allison, please. Spare me your gratitudes. This is no mere matter of granting favors to a companion. This is my chivalric oath! My sworn duty. Truly, miss Allison, it was destiny that I should happen upon one who would wield the very object of my quest in service of such a holy task!"
"Wow. That is amazing. But... My match is in just a couple of hours. You think you'll be able to get it back by then?"

Now, I struggle to tell a minute apart from a day. Far be it for me to judge someone's perception of time, but in this case I couldn't help but doubt whether it's possible to grab a sword that's been lost for thousands of years, and deliver it overnight.
She shook her head, "Fear not, miss Allison. Anything is possible if you have faith."

I sighed in relief, "Then I'll have faith... In you. And hey! I'll even give you a lift!"
She shook her head, "I appreciate the offer, miss Allison. But I already decided to decline. I cannot in good faith commandeer this ship. Not when its absence shall be ever so aggrieved by those who accommodated it."
"Ah... That's a good point. Guess we've gotta use my regular ride then" I unplugged my phone from the armrest, kicking myself up from the sofa. I clicked a few times, and disc of ethereal light sprung up between us. A hole in the middle of space itself. A portal, one leading to more portals. So many more. An entire sky of portals. Portals within portals. A fractal realm in the etherverse lay before us.
Bird Brain leaped from the couch. She shifted slowly towards it, staring blankly into the maws of eternity, "You– What is this?"
"Oh, that's just everywhere, and everywhen. Where I can go is limited only by my imagination. And I'm always on time, even if that time already passed, or is yet to pass. I could take you to your Holy Sword in a heartbeat."
"Then... You travel a lot?"
"Oh, yeah! I love travelling! That's what makes me a Traveller! If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here."
"But... Where? Where exactly do you go? And what for?"
I shrugged, "I go wherever I wanna go. Cause I feel like it."
She cocked her head, "You... Feel like it?"
"Yeah. I don't need some great ceremony to go somewhere. For example, every New Year I crash some party during another New Year's Eve. I try to find the night before the worst year ever. Just looking at the people with their hopes and dreams, for a new chance to make a difference... Completely oblivious to the clusterfuck they're about to endure. Hah! Last year I went to New York 1928. Now that was jazzy! But Paris in 1917? That will always hold a special place in my heart. Great food."
She looked back at me with an approving grin, "You really do nothing unless it is to enjoy yourself, huh?"
"Well, I try to. Not so much when my contemporary New Year's party is crashed by my future self. Really takes the air out of the moment when she screeches 'happy new years, motherfuckers!', but... Yeah, mostly I'm just trying to find a good time. So... You want a lift."
She shook her head, "Again, I must decline. My quest is not merely a matter of achieving what I set out to do. It is to prove my worth. If I were to simply skip the journey to discover the hidden location of Ylapu, I would surrender the very quest I have undertaken."

Huh.
There aren't a lot of ways to hide an island, but I'd never imagined launching it into the sky to be the number one way.
I clicked the portal close, "Yeah, probably a good call. The most expedient way isn't always the way to go. Sometimes you just don't wanna skip out on the adventure."
"Indeed." She held up the sheathed sword once more, "I am in your debt already for mending my blade. With it by my side, nothing will stand in my way!"
"Hah! You haven't changed a thing! Well, that's not true. Actually you're nothing like you were before, all stuck on a leash by that Goldfish. You're your own woman now. One who paves her own way and don't take crap from nobody."
She looked away embarrassed, a coy frown grew on her face as she folded her arms, "Hmmph, I will have you know that has not been pleasant. Not at all. The bleakest moment of my entire life was when the Lord I served faithfully and diligently with all my heart turned his back on me."
"Yeah? Well, that's his loss, isn't it?" I patted her shoulder, "Listen, there's a difference between being attached and being stuck. And sure, sometimes being stuck can feel great. At least then you won't fall down into the abyss. But when he let you go... Sure, it was scary at first. But now that it's done, you're no longer stuck! You're free to go after that Holy Sword of yours at your leisure!"

Her frown broke out in a warm smile, "...I shall miss you, miss Allison. But now my journey awaits."
My hand slipped off her shoulder as she moved, "Wait, you're leaving already?"
"I am afraid so." She sat on the windowsill, "But do not despair, miss Allison. You may await my glorious return tomorrow morning. Heed that moment, for then you shall be powerless no longer. Until that time, I bid farewell!"
She opened the window, climbing out while looking over her shoulder and waving.
"Wait a moment!" I ran towards her, "You know, we do have a teleporter! It's right over..."

SMACK!
...Didn't think the sound of her hitting the streets would reach all the way up there. I peered outside, looking down into the streets. There she was, sprawled on her stomach in the middle of the cobblestone road. Nonetheless, she picked herself up and dusted off her bikini.
... I can't help but feel in another life, she'd get along legendarily with her old master.

She looked up and waved at me one last time before walking off. I smiled and waved back at her, shutting the windows when she walked out of view. All that remained was the indent of her curvy figure where she crashed.
The whining winds died down. The silence was palpable.
I missed her already. I let out a sigh, one of equal part gloom and relief. I turned around to walk back to bed, but who should I see behind me if not Max?
Because of course. He had even managed to slip into his tuxedo without me noticing, while I was caught literally with my pants down.

He wiped his forehead with a handkerchief, erasing the last trace of my dick-pics off his face.
"Ah... You... Good morning there, sweetheart!" I waved, "Just got done getting myself some fresh air, and uh..."
"Lady Carlyle." He tucked the handkerchief back in his breast pocket, "You have no reason to worry whatsoever. What transpired here shall not leave the room."
"Ah... Thank goodness. You're a lifesaver, Max."
"But of course, lady Carlyle." A reassuring smile grew on his face.

"So? What do you think?" I prodded, "She'll come back, right? She'll come back and hand me her Anti-Devil sword. Right? Just in the nick of time?"
"My lady..." His smile widened, "No. If she comes back at all, it will most certainly not be by morning."

"...Oh yeah?" I barked, "Oh yeah!! Well, you don't squat! She'll come back! Nothing can get in her way! Not when she puts her Bird Brain to it!"
"But of course, my Lady."
I turned on my heel to follow him as he paced past me towards the kitchen area.
"I mean it! You'll see! First thing tomorrow I'll shove that Holy Blade right in your stupid uptight face!"
"Mmhm." He nodded, "Allow me to prepare my Lady some popcorn."
"You do that!" I sank back to the sofa, "A big bowl! Please!"
"Of course, my Lady."

With a long sigh I tucked my knees against my chest, snuggling myself into the couch.
I peeked out from behind my knees, staring at him with a forlorn glare while he rummaged through the cupboard.
"Max?" My voice quivered, even as I spoke that single syllable.
"Yes, my Lady?" He responded.
"In case something happens tomorrow, I want you to know... You're the best butler I've ever had."
"Thank you, my Lady."
"You're also the only butler I've ever had."
"But of course, my Lady."