I can’t tell you.

Because I promised and, spoiler alert, Parley did hold. As did the submission I got for her various agreements got me +33 SP (Jinx: -47), which meant I’d missed out on the first challenge. Apparently, the app knew everything that had happened as soon as it reconnected to my brain, which meant Asa got a whole bunch of updates all at once, which at least let her know I was alive.

Getting out actually was really easy, it just required us both to concentrate and repeat a little chant, then walk out the door in the center of her soul. When I woke up in the fucking sewer. Zatanna and Freeze were talking off to the side, about his wife, while Jinx was restrained, both by some sort of Bat-handcuffs and a glowing collar which Zatanna must have put in place.

The discovery that other things had passed over too and I’d creamed in my pants was a less pleasant discovery, fortunately, the smell of the sewers and the muck I’d been running around in covered everything up. I pushed myself back to my feet, and didn’t even look at Jinx. “Are we done here?”

“How are you?” Zatanna asked.

“Furious. Are we fucking done here?”

“Jinx is captured and Freeze has surrendered--”

Freeze grumbled something about a deal.

“We are done here,” Batman said, as Zatanna raised a hand and said something incomprehensible, lifting Jinx into the air with her magic. I turned away, looking for a way out. “As soon as you tell me what happened in there.”

“It took a long time to find a way out and she promised not to sacrifice me if I helped. So, thanks for ruining my fucking Saturday and endangering my life and leaving me to solve my own problems. Once I get out of here, I never want to see any of you assholes again.”

There was general grumbling about that and Batman gave me a glare, but Zatanna gave me a slight apology and showed me how to get out of the sewer. I didn’t look back at Jinx as I left, not with Batman there. Instead, I got to my car, thanked God that I’d left my gym clothes in my car and changed, tossing my current clothes into my gym bag, which was going to have to be thrown away, which meant that my car would be okay.

The smell had been truly foul, but even before I headed home for a shower, I texted Diamond and Asa, Done. Alive. Issue resolved.

I got a response from Asa, who responded to both of us. Come over. Diamond’s here.

Fuck. Well, no getting out of it now. I tried, suggesting I needed a shower, but there was no interest in further delay, instead they offered to come to me, which wasn’t what I wanted. Asa’s place at least had walls thick enough the neighbors couldn’t hear what happened.

I drove over in a fucking fugue state. Between the forthcoming conversation and Jinx’s ritual, which hadn’t exactly been pleasant, the only thing I’d learned was that there was a world of difference between play submission with Asa, or one of my ex’s and being instructed in how to perform like a ****, or a robot by a mass murdering criminal, I wasn’t doing great.

I tossed my gym bag in the dumpster before I went up. I barely made it to the door, before it was opened and I was pulled into a group hug. Which went on for a surprisingly long time, before odor overwhelmed emotion. For them. I remained stiff, and not in a good way, as the hug just reminded me of everything I was about to lose.

Asa pushed back, “Shower, then talk, mister.”

Diamond released me more slowly, but nodded, regretfully, then smiled. I heard Diamond take a step towards me as I headed towards the bathroom, but I was sure Asa caught her arm and held her back.

I had the self-discipline to neither cry in the shower like some sort of victim, or let it run long. I showered efficiently, got clean and found that Asa had somehow had another set of my clothes on hand, I changed into them and, walked out.

“What happened?” Diamond asked instantly.

“She had backup. Mr. Freeze. They grabbed me, there was a bunch of magical bullshit, but Batman and Zatanna got them both and I’m okay.”

“Are you?” she pushed.

“Mostly. It sucked, it was scary and I was trapped in Jinx’s head for a while, but I’m okay.”

“Good. Good. Good. Then what the fuck is going on?”

I sat down and pulled her down onto the couch. Asa sat on the other side of her. “I told you I’d tell you about my trump card afterwards. Not that it ended up mattering. Apparently it didn’t work inside Jinx’s fucking head.”

Asa reached past and kissed me, then gave me a sharp look.

She’s prompting me to talk…