Oh Shit

I was sprawled out on the counter, utterly spent, my cock still twitching faintly as the last waves of ecstasy faded. A lazy grin spread across my face as I basked in the aftermath, the warm stickiness of our session still clinging to my thighs. Life didn’t get much better than this.

Or so I thought.

The sharp snap of something metallic yanked me out of my blissful haze. I cracked an eye open, my smirk fading as I saw Nami standing a few feet away. She was fully dressed now, her sharp eyes blazing with a fury that sent a chill straight through me. In her hands, she held a bo staff she’d apparently pulled out of her ass.

“What the hell is your deal?” she demanded, her voice sharp enough to cut through steel.

Shocked. This wasn’t the way I was accustomed to being treated lately.

I blinked, still dazed, trying to play off her anger with a cocky grin. “Relax. That was amazing, right? I mean, you were screaming…”

"Shut up!" she snapped, the staff whipping through the air. The end of it pressed firmly against the front of my ballsack, a contemptuous pressure that made me wince. With a flick of her wrist, she sent my limp dick curving and draping over the staff. Nami had a quirk of her lips as if she couldn't help but appreciate the sheer size of it even in this context. It hung there, thick and flaccid, across her weapon like a dead cod. "I'm not here to trade compliments, you idiot. Start talking. Who are you!?”

I froze, my muscles locking in place as the realization struck me like a tidal wave. The earrings were gone. My hand twitched, instinctively wanting to reach up to my ears to confirm the horrifying truth, but I stopped myself just in time. That would only give me away. Nami, the damn THIEF, must have lifted them while we were fucking.

My pulse quickened, panic bubbling just beneath the surface. Without the earrings, I was powerless. Vulnerable. A nobody. And worse, Nami had them. My precious, life-defining earrings were in the hands of someone sharp enough to figure them out if I wasn’t careful. I couldn’t let her suspect. Not even for a second.

“I’m Tsujo,” I said finally, keeping my voice even. “Just a normal guy.”

Damn it! Don't say that! Idiot!

“A normal guy? Well, normally-” I winced even as my eyes flicked to her ears, thankfully no earrings, “-I’d be long gone with all your stuff. But I need to figure out what you did to me and ensure that you can’t do it again. So spit it out!”

My mind raced, “I… fucked you?”

“Not that, asshole! Your. Devil. Fruit. Power.” Nami seethed, pressing harder into my sack, "You made me think it was normal for some random big-dick fuckboy to grope me, follow me into the changing stall, and then treat me like a… like a sex toy! The way I let you control everything, the way you slapped me with your cock, the way you shoved it down my throat. That wasn't me! Your power! Spill! Now! Or I’m going to start whacking away at these big manly nuts I’m sure you're so proud of!”

Oh thank the sea!

She’d latched into the most obvious answer and didn't suspect the earrings at all. A Devil Fruit power which fit my already well established story.

Also I couldn't help but notice… she hadn’t mentioned the really damning stuff. There was no mention of the big-dickgasm as she’d dubbed it. She hadn't even brought up the oral discount, the fact that she'd sucked the shopkeeper’s tiny dick dry to shave a few berries off the price of some dresses. And then there was the way she’d looked at my dick when she’d draped it over the staff. It was a fleeting glance, but I’d seen it. A flicker of… appreciation? It was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by that burning anger, but it was there nonetheless.

It seemed that even with the earrings off, the normalities had taken root, permanently altering her perspective. It was a small victory, a twisted consolation prize in the face of my current predicament. Even if I ended up getting my balls pulverized, I’d left my mark on her, permanently molding that sharp, calculating mind like putty. Whatever happened next, she’d never look at a big dick the same way again.

Think, Tsujo, think! You need to sell this. And fast.

“Yes, I did eat a Devil Fruit. Normu Normu no Mi. It’s kind of a weak power. It allows me to… influence people’s perceptions. But only in one way. I seem normal. Just a normal guy. Wherever I am, I belong there. Whatever I’m doing, it’s no big deal. Not worth worrying about.”

Basically all true. Best way to lie. I could see her buying it, as it no doubt matched her experience, not that she looked any happier as she snapped, “Why isn’t it working now?”

Why isn’t it? Not because of the earrings being off-

"Uh... well, it's... tricky. But... it needs a little... concentration to keep active." hesitated, scratching the back of my head, trying to look embarrassed. "And, uh... well, when I ... finished... it kind of.. broke my concentration. It takes a while to.. recharge." The lie felt flimsy, but it was the best I could come up with.

“You're lying,” she snapped, her tone venomous, before swinging her staff in a swift, precise arc to slap my cock back against my stomach. The sharp thwap sent a jolt through me, making me hiss in pain as the impact left my body twitching. She prodded her staff into my chest, leaning forward with that terrifyingly sharp gaze. Damn it! What was she? A human lie detector?! Inspiration struck in the midst of my panic, and I latched onto the one thread that could save my skin.

“The… cumming breaking my concentration thing? That’s true!” I said quickly, the words tumbling out as I desperately tried to salvage the situation. “But listen, it won’t work on you again. There’s no way you’ll ever see me as normal after this! The power… it only works on people who don’t really know me. I can never just be some average guy to you again.”

Her expression hardened, her lips curling into a sneer. “You’re damn right about that,” she growled, her grip on the staff tightening. Even as she seethed, I could tell my words resonated with her. It obviously felt true to her, even if it was complete bullshit. My heart pounded as I mentally clung to one desperate hope: Once I get those earrings back…

Nami’s staff stayed firmly pressed against my chest as her sharp eyes searched my face, but I could feel her anger beginning to shift. She still looked ready to beat me to a pulp, but at least she wasn’t actively threatening my balls anymore.

“Don’t move,” she snapped. She stepped back slightly while keeping her weapon pointed at me, then bent down to rummage through my discarded clothes.

“Let’s see what else you’ve got.”

My heart sank as she picked up my trousers and shoved one hand into the pocket.

The first thing she pulled out was a crumpled pair of pale blue panties.

Nami held them by the waistband and looked from them to me. Before I could think of an explanation, she reached into the pocket again and extracted the black lace pair. The practical white panties came out last.

She spread all three across the end of her staff. Different colors, different styles, different sizes.

“Three pairs,” she said. “You’ve been busy.”

“They’re souvenirs.”

“From three different women?”

“Yes.”

Nami’s eyes narrowed. “How did you get them?”

There was no point inventing something she would immediately recognize as a lie. “I took them while the women were wearing them.”

“You reached under three strangers’ skirts and pulled off their underwear.”

“They let me. They lifted their feet and everything.”

Her expression twisted with renewed disgust. “Because your power made that feel normal.”

“They didn’t seem upset.”

“That’s the problem, you idiot. You made them unable to treat it like a problem.”

She tossed the three pairs at my naked stomach. None belonged to Tashigi. I had never taken hers. Regretting that oversight was the entire reason I’d started collecting these on the way through town.

Nami prodded the pile with the end of her staff. “Let me guess. Mine were supposed to be next.”

I hadn’t thought about it until she said it. They would have made an excellent addition.

“Maybe?”

“Gross.”

She turned both trouser pockets inside out, checked the waistband, and shook out the legs. Nothing else fell from them. Her search of the rest of my clothes proved equally disappointing.

Surprisingly conversationally she asked, “How did you know who I am? You said my name, mentioned I was a Straw Hat. Can’t believe your stupid power made me not care about that.”

"Your bounty poster. I keep track of all the pirates I’d like to meet. I mean, sexy pirate ladies like you? You’re exactly the kind of woman I’d love to… get to know better.”

“Gross.” she commented and muttered, “They’re already up around here?”

I winced as her hand emerged with a small bottle. Her eyes narrowed as she read the label. “Tashigi,” she said flatly, turning the bottle over in her hands. “What the hell is this?”

Damn it… my mission for Alvida. Not that that would matter if I lost the earrings…

I sighed, my shoulders slumping as I realized there was no point in lying about this. “They’re… her birth control pills,” I admitted, the words coming out in a rush as I frantically tried to think of a way to turn this situation around. My mind raced, my focus flickering between her pocket, where I was sure the earrings were, and the furious woman in front of me.

Nami’s eyes lit up at my admission, a dangerous smirk curling across her lips. “Birth control pills, huh?” she repeated, her tone mocking. “Guess I’ll be keeping these.” She tucked the bottle into her pocket, and leveled me with a glare. “After all, you just delivered a monster of a load to my unprotected pussy. Can’t be too careful, right?”

I forced myself to stay calm, my mind spinning as I tried to figure out how to get my earrings back. I couldn’t let her leave with them. I had to think of something, and fast.

I had very little doubt she could kick my ass without breaking a sweat. She was a real pirate. I was just role-playing as one and a few months of sword practice Alvida did me fuck-all when I was naked and weaponless.

If Alvida was here- she wasn’t.

Why didn’t I have minions with me? I should keep minions with me. Would have only taken a sentence back when I’d had the earrings…

Nami moved over to the counter with that self-assured swagger of hers, her bo staff resting on her shoulder like a trophy. She pulled out a money pouch- my money pouch!,and held it up for me to see.

Thief! That no good conniving- When had she-

“I think this should cover it,” she said sweetly, but there was no mistaking the mocking edge in her tone. She emptied the pouch onto the counter, a smug smirk playing on her lips as she pulled out some dresses. “These three. Don’t forget the Oral Discount.”

Fuck you, Nami! You’re still going to be an avid cock-sucker the rest of your life thanks to me!

The shopkeeper, whose eyes had been wide as saucers since the start of this confrontation, nodded frantically, his hands trembling as he counted out the money. He clearly hadn’t missed the part where she revealed herself as a pirate, and the way he kept glancing between her and me made it obvious he was praying to survive this encounter.

Nami’s smirk widened as she turned her attention back to me, casually reaching into her pocket and pulling out my earrings. “Oh yeah,” she said, dangling them in front of me. “Took these right off your ears while I was rocking your world. You didn’t even notice, did you?”

Grab them! Grab them! Grab-

I clenched my fists, my chest tightening but she snatched them back like she could read my thoughts, and she slipped the earrings back into her pocket, her victory etched into every sharp line of her smirk. She adjusted the dresses on her arm, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction as she turned toward the door.

“If I see you again,” she said coldly, glancing over her shoulder, “I’ll beat you black and blue, starting with your pride and joy there. And you’d better hope my crew doesn’t find out. Those boys…” she tsked tsked tsked leaving it to my imagination.

Her words sent a chill down my spine, but I forced myself to stay silent, knowing anything I said would only make things worse. Just as she reached the door, she paused, glancing back at me with a calculating expression.

“By the way,” she said, her tone casual but dripping with disdain. “Who do you work for? You’ve got ‘sketchy underling’ written all over you.”

I hesitated, the weight of her question pressing down on me like a lead anchor. I needed her to stop caring about me long enough for me to somehow get the drop on her. Lying didn't seem worth it and it was only kind of true. I was with Alvida in reality.

Finally, I swallowed hard as if it were some big admission and said, “Buggy. The Buggy Pirates.”

"Oh they're here too, huh?" She snorted, shaking her head as a sly grin tugged at the corner of her lips. “Figures. You’d fit right in with a clown like him.”

And with that, she was gone, leaving me sprawled on the counter, naked and helpless, my mind racing with desperation and fury. I had to figure out how to get my earrings back before everything fell apart.