Nomandy pet.

Commander Jane Shepard sat at the meeting table in the Normandy's cozy conference room, a mixture of curiosity and skepticism shadowing her features. The hum of the ship’s engines served as a backdrop to the relatively quiet atmosphere. She had called for this meeting, but she wasn’t prepared for what she was about to hear.

“So what did you want to talk about?” she asked, shifting in her seat as her trusted crew members gathered around her.

Miranda Lawson leaned forward, a glint of excitement in her eyes. “Well, Shepard,” she began, her tone businesslike yet slightly mischievous, “we decided that the best way to help boost morale is to show the crew that someone is very committed to them all.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow, sensing the impending absurdity of the proposal. “I’m listening…”

Liara T'Soni, ever the voice of reason and intellect, continued, “We came to a unique idea: we propose that one of the women on board become the Normandy’s official pet.”

“What?” Shepard asked, her shock evident. “A pet? Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Liara confirmed, her blue face serious as she explained, “This woman would live out the role, embracing a life of—well, servitude, in a way. Naked at all times, embodying the essence of the term ‘pet’.”

Shepard leaned back in her chair, processing the words, disbelief etched on her features. “And how does this boost morale exactly?”

Ashley Williams chimed in, her arms crossed defiantly. “Part of the responsibility is to provide sexual release for the women aboard. It’s about finding another outlet for stress relief in an unconventional yet empowering way.”

“That's crazy.” Shepard shook her head in disbelief, her thoughts racing. She couldn’t fathom the line of logic they had followed to arrive at such an idea.

“But it would also be good for the female,” Tali’Zorah spoke up. “Imagine someone under a lot of stress, freed from their worries. They wouldn't have to think about anything, just about pleasing others. It could almost be therapeutic in a way.”

Shepard looked around the room, aghast. “I can’t believe you actually think this would be okay. Who would even want to do it?”

Samara, the Asari Justicar, nodded solemnly. “That’s the thing, Commander. We all voted.” She met Shepard’s gaze with a piercing look. “It was unanimous.”

Shepard’s uncanny instincts told her where this was going. “Even Kasumi?” she asked, well aware of the thief’s playful and adventurous nature.

“Even Kasumi,” Jack confirmed, crossing her arms defiantly in a stance that suggested camaraderie, if not rebellion. “We actually all picked the same lucky girl.”

Shepard took a deep breath, frustration simmering just below the surface. “And who is this lucky candidate?”