MILF

Black ink, flecked with gold. Three-inch Fraktur capitals across her lower back, the pointed tips just stretched out to overrun onto her buttocks. The pale skin around it was an angry red, and the tattoo itself throbbed with an unseen heat. Sue Storm didn't spelled out the letters aloud, and her blonde brows furrowed in confusion.

"What the heck is a MILF?" she said aloud.

"According to dictionary.com," H.E.R.B.I.E. offered. "MILF is an acronym that stands for Mom I'd Like to Fuck, which is often said by teenage boys about their friends' attractive mothers."

Sue Storm squeezed her eyes tight. Of course that's what it meant. The perverted pig-man had marked her.

"How soon can I get it removed?" she asked.

"It is advised to allow a tattoo to heal before removal," H.E.R.B.I.E. said. "Even with a dermal regenerator, it will take several weeks for..."

"Too long," Sue said, who couldn't stand the sight of the thing anymore. With a thought, her lower back vanished.

Except for the black letters that hung suspended in mid-air.

"Ow!" Sue Storm swore as a sharp pain touched her lower spine, like a nail driven into her tailbone. Her lower torso and hips were invisible now, but the black letters of her tattoo remained visible. "H.E.R.B.I.E.! What's going on?"

The tiny robot hovered closer. Its visual sensors rose and zoomed in.

"Detecting trace amounts of radiation. The signature matches that of the interdimensional projectile that penetrated your thigh. Hypothesis: some of the mineral is mixed in with the ink of the tattoo. It appears to be interfering with your powers in a localized fashion."

"I can see that, H.E.R.B.I.E.!" Sue said, agitated. She ground her teeth at this insult added to injury. Not only had Porkum gotten the better of her—but now he had compromised her effectiveness. How could she be a heroine when marked as a MILF for everyone to see?

Sue put her shirt down over the offending tattoo and dropped the invisiblity. Immediately, the sharp pain in her lower back disappeared, though the throb of the tattoo itself remained.

The heroine sat on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands.

What the hell am I going to do? She wondered. I can't show myself like this. Reed might have a way to fix this, but I don't know when he's going to come back. Worse, Porkum is still out there. I need to fix myself, need to deal with him, but I...I can't do it on my own.

In her moment of despair, a thought came to Sue Storm. She raised her head out of her hands. It was a terrible thought, and if she wasn't in so much pain, so emotionally unstable, so ****, she might not have thought of it. There was somebody she could go to. Someone who had the power to help her, and who had unorthodox abilities beyond even Reed Richard's super-science. Sue wasn't sure she could trust them, entirely—and she would have to trust them, with both her body and her reputation.

Yet it was the only way to beat Porkum and salvage what she could from this situation.

So she rose from the bed and went to make a call.

And that was something which neither Porkum nor Doctor Doom had planned for...