Oh it's worse.

“Jenn, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“After mom died my dad felt so guilty, they had been fighting, hitting each other, screaming, it was bad. Then she died and the house became a shrine and both of us pretended she was perfect and that our family had been perfect.”

“We won’t be like that.”

She pushed back just enough to look into his eyes.

“Can you promise me that? Can you promise that I won’t turn into my mother, hurt you like she hurt my dad? That you wouldn’t grow bitter. . .”

“I think I can.”

“Really?”

“This right here, us talking about our hurts and fears, this is how we avoid that Jenn, we talk to each other, we listen to each other. Tell each other when we’ve been hurt, apologize when we mess up. This is how we avoid that.”

Jenn smiled at him. “That easy?”

“I need you to trust me enough that if I hurt you, you trust that I didn’t mean to hurt you and give me a chance to make it right. And I’ll do the same for you.”

“What about Suzie?”

“What about her?”

“You know what I’m asking Scott.”

“I think we got that to a better place already, I’ll tell her I’m in a serious relationship and I am going to be monogamous in it and she’ll respect that.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll tell her parents.”

Jenn laughed, “You’d tell on her?”

“Hell yeah, if she can’t act like an adult I’ll tell her parents on her. Besides, it would work, and that’s what matters.”

Jenn’s face got more serious, and she stared into his eyes, a harsh, interrogative stare.

“What about Lydia?”

“I already told her.”

“Seriously?”

Scott thought about that situation, how he told her. He couldn’t not tell Jenn, Lydia wouldn’t keep it a secret, and even if she did Angel sure as hell wouldn’t. If Jenn was going to be around his family he had to have no secrets between him and Jenn. Then it hit him, he was in bed with Lydia 24 hours ago, and he was in bed with Jenn now. He had to tell her. . .

“Shit.”

“What?”

“Jenn, I got so swept up in things, I should have told you this yesterday, I meant to tell you, but lunch at a diner isn’t really the best place.”

Scott was really nervous, he didn’t know how Jenn would react to knowing what he and Lydia did yesterday, but he had to tell her, putting it off would just increase the chance she’d hear it from someone else, and that would be so much worse.

Jenn’s face was guarded, she was ready to be hurt, she knew something bad was coming. Hopefully she didn’t see it as too bad. . .

“I told you I realized I didn’t want a casual sex relationship, that I wanted something more.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t tell you what triggered that.”

“Then tell me Scott.” Her voice was cold.

“I was over at Angel’s house, with my family, Lydia and I, we hooked up.”

Jenn didn’t say anything but her face showed her hurt.

“It was a messy day, and last night I slept with Lydia, when I woke up I realized I didn’t want that, I wanted so much more.” Jenn had pulled the covers over her a bit tighter, he could tell what she was thinking.

“Jenn I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

“Yes, yes you should have.”

“It wouldn’t change how I feel.”

“Fuck your feelings Scott, you’ve never said no to Lydia, you’ve never been able to say no to her, she could come in, fuck you at will, and you’d bring her to hang out with us and she’d gloat, knowing how I felt. It was like no matter how much I liked you, you were hers anytime she wanted you.”

“Jenn I’m sorry.”

“I can’t believe this.” Jenn said and got up, pulling the sheets with her. She went to her dresser, got out clothes, wrapped in her sheet.

Scott just laid there watching her.

“All that talk about trusting you, and you waited till now to tell me.” She was crying, this was going to get worse.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Jenn turned to him, her face showing her rage now, “You think that makes it better? You think ‘oops I fucked my cousin again’ is going to cut it Scott? ‘Fucking my cousin makes me realize how much I love you Jenn.’ Isn’t the romantic statement you seem to think it is Scott.”

She slammed her dresser drawer and stormed out of the room. “I’m so stupid.” The last words he heard from her.

He heard the shower running, got up and got dressed. He didn’t know if it would be better to just leave and give her space. They had been so close to the dream he always had of them, it had been right there, in reach.

“Fuck Scott, you should have told her.” He said to himself.

He opened the door and saw her dad getting up from his chair. He didn’t want to face her dad, not after he had hurt Jenn like that.

“Scott?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Whatever just happened, if you love my daughter, if you want Jenn, keep fighting. This is our family Scott, when she gets mad like this, give her space, but don’t give up. No matter what.”

There was pain in that voice, and experience.

“Thank you, Bob.”

The shower cut off and seconds later Jenn came out in a robe.

“Jenn.”

“Get out of here Scott, I’ll see you at work.” Her voice was sad, but if she was truly done with him, she would have told him.

“Okay Jenn.”

Scott went outside, got on his bike and rode back to the Carter’s house. The sun was just starting to come up, he had a couple of hours before it was time to go to work. He cut the engine and coasted into the driveway, trying to not wake anyone.

Scott went down into the basement, went into his room, grabbed some clean clothes and headed out to the shower.

“Scott? Is that you?” Suzie’s voice jolted Scott, he was in his own head and hadn’t expected to hear anybody.