Change my Mind

He was making good progress when he felt hands on his shoulders, soft hands, rubbing his shoulders absentmindedly.

“Scott?”

“Yeah boss?”

“Please don’t call me that.”

Scott wasn’t one to give up messing with a friend, but Jenn’s voice was soft, and serious.

“No problem Jenn, I’m just messing with you.”

“You are always joking around.”

“Yeah, it’s a good defense mechanism.”

“Can we talk, for real, Scott?”

Scott pivoted on the stool, turning to face Jenn, she looked nervous and a bit sad. He took her hands in his.

“Whatever it is Jenn, you can tell me.”

“I’m sorry for last night Scott, I’ve been a bitch ever since you came home, and you don’t deserve that.”

“It’s okay, I know you. . .”

Jenn cut him off, “Let me finish Scott.” She took a breath. “I was hurt when you left, but when you came back, when I saw you again, I was relieved, so relieved to have you back, but you were with Suzie, and she was acting like she always has, clinging to you. That pissed me off, and I didn’t handle it well.”

Scott nodded, trying to be supportive, he knew what was coming.

“I tried telling you last night, but I just screwed it all up.”

She was trying to say the words, but once again she was really struggling to say them.

“I . . .”

“You want us to be more than friends.” Scott said it for her.

“You knew?”

“No, had no clue, both Mary and Doug chewed me out since last night. Apparently, I’m the only one that didn’t know you felt like that.”

“I have for years, I just waited for you to make a move, let me know you wanted more.”

Scott laughed.

“What?”

“You remember when you told me you never wanted me to do that?”

“I what?”

“You were 13.”

“Oh God, that was such an awful time, I don’t remember a lot of those years.”

“You were crying, told me you couldn’t handle it if I asked you out and it ruined our friendship.”

“So you never. . .”

“I couldn’t tell you I liked you, that I thought about you all the time, that I was in love with you.”

Jenn blushed, “Really.”

“You gotta let me finish now, Jenn. You were all I had until Doug showed up, and I couldn’t have more than friendship, so I pretended I was okay with that. And the truth is, the façade became reality over time. I think you are great Jenn, but I don’t know if I want more than friendship anymore. I really don’t know.”

“I waited too long.”

“I don’t know that Jenn. I just don’t know. I’ve spent so long convincing myself we were just friends.”

“Okay,” she said, looking serious and thoughtful. “I can deal with that.”

Scott was a bit surprised, after the hostility and crying he’d received since he returned, he didn’t expect her to just be cool with this.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, let’s get your paperwork finished.”

Jenn stood next to him, talking to him, helping him fill out some of the dumber forms. It felt nice to be doing something other than trying to talk about feelings.

She had her hand on his shoulder, occasionally she’d stand behind him and rub his shoulders, then look over his shoulder to say something or answer a question. She smelled great, her hands felt amazing on him, and the knowledge that she wanted him, it was intoxicating.

When he signed his name for the last time, he stood up and stretched. When he turned to face Jenn she put both hands on his chest and moved in close to him. His heart raced.

“Jenn. . .”

“Shh,” she stood up on her toes, stretching to meet his face and she kissed him, lightly on his lips, not taking, but offering.

Scott put his arms around her and kissed her back. She put a hand behind his head, pressing his mouth to hers as her other hand explored his back.

Scott bent down a bit, picked her up and turning, set her on the stool he had been sitting on, and deepened the kiss.

When they came up for air she smiled at him. “Do you know more now?”