It's not the money that makes me scoff

Vivian was surprised by what she saw when she stepped out of the Arcade Suite and into the hallway.

Standing in front of the door were Mary, Holly, and Rose.

Her eyes landed on Rose first and she gave the blonde a coy smile.

“You know, I’d almost forgotten that this is actually your room,” she said with a giggle. “Kinda weird that way, huh? The way Carly and Dani are acting, you’d almost think they were the buddies, not the two of you!”

Rose sighed. “Yeah, well… it’s not like they have a lot of time to themselves,” she said, a wistful lilt in her voice. She could sympathize with the two of them- after all, she knew what it was like to not have as much time with the person you loved as you wanted.

Mary nodded sympathetically with Rose, seeing where she was coming from.

“So what can I do for you?” The heiress asked, looking at each of the girls in turn. “Something tells me you gals aren’t here for a few games of Mrs. Pac-Man.”

“We, uh, we were hoping you could help us out with something,” Mary said, stepping forward to address the other woman. She put herself in the front, which left Rose a little miffed- after all, this was about her bounty sheet, and Mary was taking control of it! But she held herself back.

Vivian looked curious. “Well, I’m always happy to help,” she said with a coy smile, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “Especially if it’s Nick’s dearly beloved asking me for a favor.”

Mary didn’t miss the challenging tone in the other woman’s voice, but she shrugged it off. If Vivian wanted to stoke the fires of rivalry, that was fine. She had more pressing matters to deal with anyway at this point, and had no intention of backing down.

Just the opposite!

“This is important,” she said, looking determinedly at the other girl. “And… it’s not for me. It’s for Rose, actually.”

She turned to look at the blonde, who stepped forward as well. She felt a little ashamed, asking for something from a woman she idolized, but at the same time, it wasn’t that big of a favor, right?

“Rose, eh? Sure, I’d be happy to help you out, Rosie! Just tell me whatcha need!” Vivian chirped, smiling from ear to ear.

“That’s the thing, we need, um… your help with some fashion,” Rose managed to get out.

Vivian’s smile stretched even wider somehow.

“Well… that works just perfectly for me,” she chirped.

The girls explained the whole thing to Vivian, telling her all about how important this all was, and how Rose really wanted to earn some BP in order to grow her hair back out. Culminating in the reason they’d come here for her support, in case she had a pet collar Rose could borrow for a little while.

If anyone would have something like that, it was the fashionista.

Rose finished her pitch, and waited anxiously for Vivian’s response.

The girl didn’t seem the fazed.

“That’s it?” She asked, raising her eyebrow. “Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place? If you need some BP, I’m happy to help! I’ve only got 2600 BP on me right now, but if you want to set up a loan, then I’d be happy to-”

“N-no, no, that’s fine, no loans,” Rose said quickly, shaking her head.

“You sure?” Vivian raised her eyebrow. “It’s not like I’d charge you interest on it or anything like that, it’d just be so you can grow your hair out until you get enough BP to pay me back.”

Rose shook her head. She could see where this would go. If she got a loan from Vivian, that would be good, for this round, anyway. But next round, even if she hadn’t paid back her debt, she’d lose all her hair again anyway.

The actress hadn’t grown up with a lot of money, but she was still rather savvy about how to use it well. And getting a loan for a temporary fix wouldn’t help her out here, she’d just be digging herself deeper into debt.

Plus… it felt a little weird getting money from Vivian, when Rose had so much.

“Would that even work, though?” Holly wondered. “I mean, Rose, you’ve got some of the most BP out of everybody here, right?”

“That’s right,” Rose nodded. “I’ve got over 8000.”

“So couldn’t Vivian give you, like, all of her BP, then?” Holly suggested. “2600 BP, and then your hair would grow out. Then, you could immediately give it back to her, since, well, you’ve got so much of it. That would work, don’t you think?”

“…Huh.” Rose tapped her cheek thoughtfully. “I never considered that…”

“Interesting,” Vivian said, stroking her chin with a conspiratorial grin on her face. “Now that you bring it up, it could work like that, couldn’t it? In fact, why stop there? If you give me all your BP that you’ve got stored up, and then I give it back to you, wouldn’t that count as you gaining BP? That would make your hair grow out quite a lot, I’d imagine.”

Rose really liked the thought of that.

“Does it work that way though?” Mary wondered. She wasn’t sure if this would be technically bending the rules, and she didn’t want to find out. If Dakota knew what they were doing, she might get really mad at them for flouting her rules like this.

But at the same time, she wanted Rose to be happy.

“How is it worded?” Vivian asked. She hadn’t been there when Rose had actually been given the transformation. “I’ve done some work with financial contracts in the past, and the way things are worded is always important.”

Rose nodded and pulled up the transformation for her to see.

• Golden Fleece: Rose’s hair will grow incredibly long, and very fluffy, almost like sheep’s wool. The more BP she gets each round, the more luxurious it becomes, then at the end of the round, it’s shorn off. Her hair can then be woven into a garment that grants a boon to the wearer, with the effects increased in strength depending on how much BP was put into it. (Gold Digger)

Vivian frowned as she read over the description. “That… isn’t actually all that helpful,” she said, glancing at Rose. “I mean, it says right here that your hair will grow long, but… just the opposite happened. It got shorter.”

“That’s right,” Rose said bitterly. “At the end of the round, or I guess, the start of this round, it all got shorn off. Now, I have to get more.”

“Right, right… I get that… but it doesn’t say that your hair will shrink when you lose BP, right? Or spend it, I mean. So in that case, maybe we should experiment,” Vivian suggested. “Here, how about this? How much BP have you earned this round?”

“Um…” Rose did some quick calculations. “I haven’t had any big increases, just 100 BP every night, for helping clean the Master’s Suite,” she informed Vivian. “So I got 100 BP last night, and 100 BP the night before… but I missed out on getting any the first night of the round, since I didn’t check my bounty sheet until the next morning.”

“Nick wasn’t here anyway, though,” Mary reminded her.

“Yeah, he was getting busy with Marley,” Holly giggled.

“So I guess I’ve only made 200 BP this round,” Rose said, sighing. Her shoulders slumped.

“Hmm, that little, huh?” Vivian stared curiously at the other girl. “Your hair’s only grown a few inches since the start of the round, in that case… okay, here’s what we’ll do! It’s time to do some experimenting! Rose, I want you to give me all your BP, alright?”

“Um, yeah, okay,” Rose nodded, moving to make the transaction.

Mary grabbed her hand before she could.

“You- Are you just going to give her your money?” She asked in surprise. She had no idea Rose could be that trusting.

Rose shrugged. “I mean… it’s Vivian. She just bought us bathing suits, remember? She wouldn’t try to rip me off over something like this.”

“She’s a CEO of a major fashion industry and a billionaire several times over,” Holly pointed out. “So… yeah, she totally would. Believe me, I’ve written lots of articles on swindlers that do exactly this kind of thing.” She gave Vivian a suspicious look, even if she didn’t really mistrust the smiling heiress.

Rose stared blankly at her. “Articles? What? On your ‘Perverts Monthly’ blog or something?”

Holly turned red. “I-I was an investigative journalist before coming here, you know! Just a week before getting taken I busted a major scandal implicating a cheating senator and his mistress, who was an undocumented immigrant! I-!”

She stopped herself and sighed. What was even the point?

“I think that’s very admirable, Holly!” Mary beamed at her friend. She was happy that Holly had found a field to put her writing degree to good use in, even if Holly’s talents were better suited, in her opinion, for waiting on Nick hand and foot.

Holly wouldn’t necessarily disagree either, but her passion had been enflamed.

“It’s okay, I promise, you girls can trust me,” Vivian said, looking at Rose with sincerity reflecting in her eyes. “Come on, we’re trying to experiment with your transformation to see how it works. Isn’t that worth a shot?”

“Have you been spending a lot of time with Dawn recently?” Rose questioned, squinting suspiciously at the heiress. “All this talk about experimenting…”

Then again, Dawn wasn’t exactly great with money either. In fact, Rose had needed to loan her some money way back when!

Vivian waved her hand. “Nah, but if she wants a pet collar too, I can always hook her up.”

Rose laughed, remembering one of the items on Dawn’s sheet. “Maybe you could buy one for her as a gift,” she joked, imagining how the uptight cat girl would react to that. “Anyway, let’s get this settled, sound good?”

She pulled out her screen and typed into it to finalize the transaction.

Rose: 8400 BP – 8400 BP = 0 BP

Vivian: 2600 BP + 8400 BP = 11000 BP

The effect was immediate. The few precious inches of Rose’s hair that she’d been able to recover slowly retreated back to her scalp, leaving her with an almost-shorn pixie cut that was practically a shaved head, much to her distress.

“…Ugh.” She had to look in the mirror to verify the changes, and she didn’t like what she saw.

“It-it doesn’t look so bad!” Mary tried to encourage her.

“So I guess this confirms it then?” Holly asked. “If you lose your BP, or spend it on anything, then your hair goes back to its previous length.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Rose sighed. “So that means, I have to choose. Either spend BP and get ahead, and live with short hair forever, or horde my money like a miser just to keep my looks.”

Not exactly what she wanted to find out.

Mary and Holly both felt bad for the self-conscious actress so focused on her beauty.

But Vivian wasn’t convinced.

“Hmm… I’m not so sure,” she said, shaking her head.

Rose looked at her in confusion. “Huh?”

“I’m saying I don’t think we can verify that just yet,” she said. “Experiment’s not over, remember? Let’s see what happens when you get your money back!”

“Oh, yeah, that’s true,” Holly nodded. “If this works out, your hair will grow so long, it won’t even matter, Rose!”

Currently, Rose had no BP to speak of at all, and she was about to get an infusion of 8400. That was 42 times what she’d earned this round already.

If their hypothesis held up, Rose’s hair would grow so long she could give Rapunzel a run for her money.

“Let’s find out!” Vivian typed something into her own screen, and reversed the purchase, giving Rose back her BP.

Vivian: 11000 BP – 8400 BP = 2600 BP

Rose: 0 BP + 8400 BP = 8400 BP

Again, the effect was immediate. Rose’s hair grew…

…But only by a few inches again.

She looked into the mirror and sighed. She’d reached her original length that she’d had before, but apparently, it didn’t count the extra boost in BP she’d just gotten.

“So with that, it looks like all the extra BP won’t count,” Vivian said thoughtfully.

“But why not?” Mary wondered. She wasn’t a major math person. This seemed like something better-suited for Dawn, than for someone like her. “Rose still got that BP, right?”

Holly nodded. “I don’t get it either,” her fellow English major agreed. “I mean, earning BP is earning BP, right?”

“Maybe trading between contestants won’t work, and it doesn’t count if you don’t get it from the show,” Vivian considered, studying her own BP total. “…No, but then it wouldn’t make sense that you’d grow those few inches when I gave you your money back, or lose it in the first place. Unless… hmm, could that work?”

“What are you thinking?” Rose questioned curiously. She was really eager to find out if there was still something she could do to grow her hair out again.

“Let’s try something else,” Vivian said. “I want you to give me some of your BP, but not all of it, alright? Give me 200 this time.”

“200? Why so little?” Mary asked.

“I want to test something,” Vivian explained. “Rose, you lost your BP gains when you lost your hair before, right? So with this, I think we can test how that loss works. You earned 200 BP before, and your hair grew. So if you lose 200 BP, will it shrink? I think that’s worth testing out.”

Rose considered that for a moment, and then nodded.

Rose: 8400 BP – 200 BP = 8200 BP

Vivian: 2600 BP + 200 BP = 2800 BP

Nothing happened. Rose’s hair didn’t shrink, it didn’t grow, it didn’t change in any way, shape, or form.

That was definitely intriguing for Vivian. She leaned forward and carefully studied the blonde from every angle. “I see… so it’s not about losing BP in a general sense… there must be a special condition to it… I see! In that case, Rose, I’m gonna need another 8000.”

“Eh?! Why?” Rose questioned.

“Because that’ll leave you with 200, which is what you earned,” Vivian said. “I’m guess that as long as you’ve still got that 200 BP that you earned, then it doesn’t matter how much you spend, you get me? Think about it like this. Your original 8200 BP, that’s capped. You can spend that as much as you want. It’s what we call a ‘liquid asset’ while the 200 BP you’ve earned, that’s like your money tied up in an investment portfolio. You’re investing in your hair. So if you try to liquidate that BP into an actual transaction, you’ve got to give up the hair you’ve earned by accumulating it, just like you’d have to liquidate assets to get money. Make sense?”

Mary and Holly could see the synapses in Rose’s brain shorting out as she tried to make sense of that. Not that they were any better at figuring out the analogy. If they had any monetary sense, they wouldn’t have gotten writing degrees.

Vivian sighed, seeing she wasn’t getting anywhere. “Just give me the 8000 BP, and let’s see what happens. It’s an experiment, after all!

Rose nodded. “O-okay,” she agreed.

Rose: 8200 BP – 8000 BP = 200 BP

Vivian: 2800 BP + 8000 BP = 10800 BP

BP changed hands once again, and once again, there was no visible difference in Rose’s hair. It remained just as long as it was before they started playing around with all this BP.

“There, see?” Vivian beamed at the actress. “That 8200 BP you started the round with, that can be played with however you want. You can spend it, loan it, trade it, and it won’t affect your hair length whatsoever! Even when you get it back!”

She quickly returned Rose’s money.

Vivian: 10800 BP – 8200 BP = 2600 BP

Rose: 200 BP + 8200 BP = 8400 BP

Again, nothing changed for Rose one way or the other.

“Of course, we still haven’t explored the original idea,” Vivian murmured. A conspiratorial grin flashed across her face. “Okay, new idea! Let’s see if we can grow your hair out even more! This time, I’m going to give you some of my BP, alright? And then you’re going to give it back to me.”

Rose nodded eagerly, excitement burning in her eyes. If this worked… oh, it would be just so amazing, she couldn’t wait!

Vivian swiftly made the transaction, and leaned in curiously to see what would happen.

Vivian: 2600 BP – 2600 BP = 0 BP

Rose: 8400 BP + 2600 BP = 11000 BP

Rose gasped as her scalp began to tingle. Then, to everyone’s amazement, a curtain of golden locks grew out in a wave, tumbling down her back like a curtain of sunlight.

Mary and Holly both gasped. Vivian cracked a smile.

Rose looked at her reflection in the mirror, and nearly burst into tears.

“My… my hair!” She gasped, wiping her eyes. “Look at it… it’s so… it’s lovely!”

“Well, that confirms that hypothesis, then,” Vivian said, patting the blonde on the back. “If other people give you BP, then your hair’s gonna grow out! Which means we can test it. Now you’ve got 2800 BP you’ve ‘earned’ and 8200 BP that’s liquid. Which means, if you give me some of that liquid 8200 BP to me to pay back the loan, then our totals will remain the same, but your hair should still stay this long! That’s how the math works out, anyway!”

“Really?” Rose was at a loss for words. “It… it really works that way?”

“I guess it does,” Mary said, overjoyed for Rose’s good fortune. “I mean, we did experiment it out, right?”

“Definitely,” Holly nodded. “Way to go, Vivian! You found a loophole!”

Rose hesitantly typed something into her screen, and transferred 2600 BP over to Vivian.

Rose: 11000 BP – 2600 BP = 8400 BP

Vivian: 0 BP + 2600 BP = 2600 BP

And lo and behold, Rose’s hair stayed exactly as long as it was before.

Vivian beamed with triumph, but before they could celebrate their good fortune, a loud whistle pierced the air.

“FWEEEEEEEEEEE!”

The girls whirled around to see Nola standing behind them, whistle between her lips and arms raised in a big “X” sign.

“FWEEEEEEEEEEE!” Nola blew the whistle again. “Foul! That’s a foul!”

“Huh!? What do you mean it’s a foul!?” Rose demanded.

“You’re not allowed to use your transformation like that! Cheating! Foul! Foul! FWEEEEEEEEEEE! FWEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Nola continued to blow the whistle, irritating the girls. Vivian stepped forward and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” she huffed. “It’s not a foul. It’s a loophole! We figured out a way to get around the restriction of the transformation. That is how the transformation works, right?”

Nola looked at the heiress and sighed. “…Yes,” she admitted reluctantly. “That was what Dakota wanted. She set it up so that the BP you have at the beginning of the round is ‘banked’ like in a bank? Bankety banked! She wanted to make it so you could use it however you want to purchase things, without it affecting the length of your hair. Your hair would only shrink if you started spending more BP than you started the round with, that is, when you used the BP that you earned! You can’t spend money you didn’t earn! Well, you can, because you earned it. But you have to pay the hair, too! Fair’s fair, and hair’s hair! And isn’t that hair? I mean fair. Who cares?”

“I care!” Rose spat, hardly able to get anything out of the word salad the leprechaun had unloaded. “This is my fair- I mean, my hair we’re talking about!”

“Yeah, you’re not being fair!” Vivian agreed, smiling cheekily at the wordplay in the rhyme.

Nola puffed up her cheeks. “It’s a violation!” She said. “Dakota didn’t want you to use the transformation that way, because it breaks the game! You could get a ton of BP to grow your hair super-duper long, without actually earning any, and then you can get great rewards from the stuff you sheer off at the end of the round! No no, you can’t do that, nope! It’s a foul! It’s basically cheating!”

“It’s a creative loophole,” Vivian replied. “No one considers it cheating when rich people use their stock gains to get around paying their taxes, they call it tax loopholes.”

“No, everybody knows it’s cheating! Cheater!” Nola squealed.

“…Yeah well, they shouldn’t. Fair’s fair.”

Vivian was clearly having a blast, while Nola was actually getting upset. It was honestly a bit surprising, given how perky the leprechaun usually was.

Then the pink-haired girl sighed in resignation and rubbed her temples. “Look, Dakota sent me to handle this, because she was watching the whole time. And while she was amused and impressed, she also said it absolutely wouldn’t stand. Like, it SO wouldn’t stand. It would stand even worse than a guy in a wheelchair, that’s how much it wouldn’t stand. And I don’t wanna end up in a wheelchair, guys! But she’s so super scary! So here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re not gonna use this stupie-poopie cheaty-loophole anymore, and your hair’s gonna go back to it’s normal length, ‘kay? And if you wanna complain, well, the next step is Dakota’s gonna change up the transformation. No more bank bailouts, this ain’t 2008 anymore! Nopity nopes, any BP you spend is gonna come right out of that hair of yours, sorry! But Dakota’s not gonna let it stand.”

“Eh!?” Rose turned pale. Again, she couldn’t completely follow Nola’s long train of words, but she got the gist. And the important part was that Dakota was going to turn off her ability to accumulate and spend BP at all, unless she agreed not to exploit the loophole Vivian had found.

“…I think… Nola might have a point,” Mary admitted reluctantly, looking apologetically over to Rose. “Don’t get me wrong, Rose, it’s great that you have a way to grow your hair out… but as the rounds go on and you keep getting BP, it’s just going to make it easier for you to exploit as you save it up. And we don’t even know the kinds of stuff you’ll be able to make with all that hair. Maybe it’s for the best if we don’t push this, to keep the game fair.”

“Exactly,” Nola nodded. “And besides! You can still spend 8200 BP without it affecting your hair, which you didn’t think you could before! Isn’t that worth it? It’s totally worth it. Well, but I mean, long hair is worth it, too, so I get your dilemma, but there’s no fixing that. So them’s the breaks! Sorry.”

Rose sighed. She took one last look at herself in the mirror, and wiped her eyes. “Okay, okay, I get it. Just make it fast, okay?”

Nola looked remorseful, but she didn’t have a choice. With a sigh, she waved her hand, and Rose’s hair returned to the length it was before this mess all started.

Rose rubbed the fringes of her shortened hair mournfully, missing her luscious curls. “Well, it was nice while it lasted…”

“Look on the bright side!” Vivian encouraged. “At least now, you know that you can spend your BP without losing your hair. And you can still earn it, and be given it by other people. We just can’t get around it with a loophole anymore.”

“That’s right,” Nola nodded. “From now on, any BP you give to another contestant will be taken out of the total of how much BP that contestant has given to you! You can still give from your own surplus, of course, but if they’ve given you any BP in a round, it will come out of that total first!” She winced. “And again, sorry, I know it stinks, but we need to keep things fair! Fairity-fair. So, uh… yeah. I’ll be going now, yeah.”

Nola didn’t like people holding grudges against her, so she wanted to get as far away as possible before she got blamed for everything that could happen. So she turned and booked it.

“Hey, Nola, wait up a second!” Vivian called after her.

Nola froze in place. She looked warily back at the girls, not at all wanting to stay, but part of her job was to listen to requests. “…Yes?” She asked tentatively.

“We’re holding a beach party tomorrow,” Vivian informed the leprechaun. “Do you want to come and hang out? Pass along the message to Dakota too, tell her she’s invited.”

“What!?” Rose gasped.

“What, really?” Mary was stunned by that.

Holly was so shocked, she didn’t say anything at all.

But nobody was more surprised than Nola.

“You… huh? P-party?” She stammered.

“Yeah, you must have heard of it by now,” Vivian said, knowing Dakota was watching everything.

“W-well, yes, I did,” Nola stammered. “But… are you sure? Inviting us, that’s…” She couldn’t believe that Vivian would even invite her to the party. And Dakota?!

“…So you don’t want to go, then?” Vivian raised her eyebrow.

“Of course I want to go!” Nola screeched, her eyes widening. “Yes, yes, absolutely!” She turned and ran before Vivian could take her wonderful offer back.

“…And make sure you pass along the message to Dakota!” Vivian called after her, even though she knew that the host was definitely listening in.

The other girls all looked at Vivian in disbelief.

She turned back to them and shrugged. “…What?”

“You, I just… huh?” Rose shook her head. “You invited Dakota?!”

“Building relationships is important,” Vivian said, flashing a toothy smile. “Nothing wrong with being friendly.”

“I think it’s sweet!” Mary nodded in agreement. She still looked uncertain, though. “…We… we can trust her, right?”

Holly bit her lip. Somehow, she doubted that.

Everyone wondered what Nick would think of this idea.