Costco Chaos

"Welcome to Costco... I love you...," Usagi Tsukino said listlessly with glazed over, retail worker dead eyes.

"What the-?" Haruhime uttered.

Walt smiled. "Costco changed and required their greeters to say, "I love you" to customers sometime ago," he explained. "Not that they mean it. They started recruiting "love" themed characters for the position to try to get more emphasis but..." he looked at the tired Sailor Moon repeating herself over and over while he grabbed a circular flyer. "They still burn out awful fast. But a job's a job and honestly it could be-"

They stepped into the store proper. It was the same Costco. Ridiculously huge, shelves reaching to a very high ceiling overhead, stacked with products and goods and the stretching off into the distant horizon beyond.

Except it was even more chaotic than usual.

"Nyah, What's up, Doc?" Asked a Bugs Bunny zipping by with a forklift with a crate full of carrots being chased by Looney Tunes characters and Store staff. They ran over and trampled Daffy who pronounced them all to be "deshpicable".

A Miku and a Mario were having a leek versus radish fight in produce over who knew what. Daenerys Targaryen was chasing Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, both on dragon back and causing devastation. An Inferno Autobot was following along behind them lecturing about fire saftey and wasn't helping much as he trampled things putting out fires... but he did seem happy.

An over worked Peter Parker was trying to help customers, fetch things of shelves and explain to a Roman legion commander that he and his men needed to go. "Buddy, please just go to the lost and found. You can't just make encampment right here!"

There was sudden crash and people scrambled out of the way as a pick-up truck smashed through the front of the building backwards careening into a sale on anvils before coming to a stop. The PA crackled and announced "Pick-up on asile two" as a guy leaned into the hole and called out to his buddy behind the wheel belatedly "...and stop... that's good!"

"What madness is this?" Haruna asked.

Before Walt could reply a King Leonidas did with "This is Sparta!" Before leading his forces against the Romans making Peter Parker sigh as his job got even harder. "Dude, no it isnt! It's Costco! Everybody just calm down!" Finally he sighed, running his fingers through his hair so it parted hanging on one side and went into "bully Maguire" mode and snagged a package of cookies. "You know what? Forget this. Not my problem. I'm going on my break," he declared heading for the dairy section to get some milk.

Walt nodded. "It's actually a little better than I expected. Primes go a little nuts before every storm or "emergency" and the Characters pick up on it. Good thing we're sort of early. It'll just get worse as- oh no!"

A man in a weathered hat and coat walked up to Walter. "General, it's good you're here. I just got word of another settlement that needs your help. I'll mark it on your map."

Walt sighed but smiled and nodded. "Not great timing, Preston but sure... I'll see what I can do. Spread the word to the other Minutemen?"

Preston Garvey nodded. "I will, General!" He said before wandering off towards another customer. "General! I'm glad I found you..."

"Who was that?" Pirotess asked. "And how does he know you?"

Walt smiled tiredly. "Just a random Preston Garvey with a radiant quest. It happens. He'll go to anyone flagged "Minuteman General" asking for assistance. A lot of folks say "no" because it gets repetitivly annoying and tiresome but Garvey is a good guy. If we're in the area, I'll see what we can do. Now let's see..." he scanned their shopping lists. "Where to start? Friday can you organize the list by non-perishables to perishables and by quantity, most to least, for us?"

(("Yes. I understand, Boss. Lists compiled and resorted. I've also marked out a route that will minimize backtracking. I hope that's more helpful to you."))

"Very," Walt smiled. "And you always are. You're the best, Fri. We'll start with the non-perishable goods first and," he gave the others a wink, "since y'all are helping, we can prioritize getting some of the things y'all want. And let me know if y'all see anything that catches your fancy!"

Shocket high-fived Linda, Haruna smiled, Haruhime's ears perked up and her tail wagged. Pirotess crossed her arms but her ears twitched happily, revealing a tell, and Anastasia looked thoughtful. "In that case," she said. "Would it not make sense to split up into teams for the most efficient gathering of supplies?"

Walt hummed. "Hmmm... It's not a bad idea but Costco's kind of a wild place . I'll allow it if you stay in pairs and you use Friday to make sure not to get too far from me. We don't want any unnecessary or unexpected trouble. Understood?" He asked raising an eyebrow and looking at some of them.

Shocket huffed. "Yeah, yeah. You don't have to make a big deal about it. I wasn't expecting a sort of Spanish-"

"Don't!" Walt said but the warning was too late.

"-inquisition? What the-" Shocket finished surprised.

A trio of scarlet robed individuals wearing crucifixes jumped out in front of them. Their leader in a hat declared. "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Walt sighed as the girls stared in surprise at the sudden interruption. "Fucking Costco," he muttered facepalming as the characters went through their joke act.

[Walter Stark - Penny Polendina - F.R.I.D.A.Y - Neopolitan - Pyrrha Nikos - Nora Valkyrie - Yang Xiao Long - Blake Belladonna - Kali Belladonna - Sienna Khan - Willow Schnee - Glynda Goodwitch - Zwei - Ahnassi - Lifts-Her-Tail - Senko - Sayoko Shinozaki - Roberta Cisneros - Haruna - Sasha Blouse - Ilulu - Rachel "Raven" Roth - Manami "La Brava" Aiba - Tsuyu "Froppy" Asui - Haruhime Sanjouno - Anastasia "Baroness" Cisarovna/DeCobray - Demona - Raven "Mystique" Darkhölme - Pirotess - Lydia - Aela the Huntress - Serana - Mission Vao - Curie - Ada - PAM - KL-E-O - Merida - Gwen "Gwenom" Stacy - Jubilation "Jubilee" Lee - Jennifer "She-Hulk" Walters - Linda T. Duck - Shocket Raccoon - Lady Loki - Elizabeth "Betty" Brant - Gloria "Glory" Grant - Mary Jane "MJ" Watson - Emma Frost and Virginia "Pepper" Potts

Will Return In

A Sticky Spider Web Situation

Coming Soon]