And I Fucking Love It

I almost want it, even if it does terrify me. Devoting myself to pleasure so fully and finding... Oh fuck I am so happy.

I am always so happy right now. Even my disappointments are only dips in contrast to the highs that will come afterwards. Everything has been so epically perfect for me since I became Emily and I know it.

I may not be made to be a slut. It may not be my destiny to pursue this pleasure time and again and again. I might find a different life and a different future for myself but I am meant to be her.

To be a woman. To find my happiness as a woman.

Because never in a million years could I have been happy as a man alone.

"More," I hear myself moan out, "More. All of it. I need it. I fucking want it."

Blake grunts and pushes forward harder and my eyes shoot open as I take more of him all at once than before. It's just a momentary flash before he's back to slow and steady once again, but it's a signal that the old Blake is ready there to make good on his promise.

Hurting me. Degrading me. It's still on the table.

My heart starts to pound in my chest and I don't thrust back and his hands move so quickly, holding me steady as his strokes become more directed and intentional. Bit by bit and thrust by thrust the boundary breaks, the tissue paper thin barrier between the man and the beast becoming frayed as the latter roars behind it and presses forward for control.

He leans into me and breathes hard through his nose, almost snorting like a bull. His grip tightens on my hips and I can hear him almost grinding his teeth as he grunts with each thrust into me until I fall forward.

It's wrong, unstable. My hands are caught between my body and the wall as I am crushed against it, caught between him and it and speared by him, taken and given and pressed until I hear him growl and feel him stop.

"Do you feel that?" he asks me, after a pause that is so long it feels like an eternity.

I don't answer. I close my eyes. I am crushed by him and I am starting to second guess my true desire here.

"I asked you a question," he says slowly, "Did you hear me? Or are you too cock drunk to understand simple words?"

I breathe out slowly, pressing my forehead against the rough cold brick. Trying to wriggle but unable to move as he holds me still and stuck in place.

"Well I'll just answer for you then," he grins, "That feeling right now? That's you being such a good girl for me. That feeling? That's you taking my whole cock in your ass."

He kisses me on the cheek and I tense and shiver, a burning tear blossoming at the corner of my eye.

"That's you being my perfect little whore."

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