Castles & Carnavals

“Marchioness, I must confess you have an impressive estate.” The queen stated.

“Thank you, my majesty.”

“I’m sure your home is just as excellent. Where is it, if I may ask?”

“O-ohh, it’s…?”

“That large castle over yonder, yer excellency.” The cat interjected, as he pointed out of the window.

“Oh, really?” The queen spoke surprised. “I thought that place belonged to an ogre.”

“A common misconception, yer highness. He’s our gardener, nothing more.”

“Very well, we’ll visit your home later. But first we must make a detour to our castle in the capital, since we simply must dress you, Marchioness.” Spoke the queen, which made Gioia blush even further and covered herself even more tightly.

“Of course, yer majesty. But if ya might excuse me, I’ve to make some preparations.” Said the cat, before he jumped out of the window.

The cat arrived at the imposing castle, as snuck in through the entrance. Even he was impressed with the castle’s elegant interior. He never expected this from a ogre of all people. He walked up the spiral staircase and with a shaking paw did he open up the bedroom door. There he saw an ginormous creature, so tall his head almost touched the ceiling devouring a union. Just before he finished the thing, he threw the rest with overwhelming **** out of the window. He turned around, and shown to the cat was horrifying face of the ogre (played by Mike Mayock).

(There was a slight communication error during the casting.)

“What are you doing in my castle, cat?!” The ogre yelled.

“P-pardon my intrusion, my lord.” Apologized the cat. “I was walking down the road and I just had to see the inside of this magnificent building. And if I might be so bold, the owner is just as stunning.”

The ogre chuckled. “Heh, you don’t know the half of it. If you could believe it, I’m quite the sorcerer.”

“Ya don’t say?” Said the cat, stroking his chin. “Mind if ya give me a demonstration?”

“Certainly, watch me!” The ogre spoke some magic words, and turned into an elephant.

“My word!” Said the cat. “But could ya turn into something minuscule, like a mouse?”

“Easily!” Once more, the ogre turned into a tiny mouse. “Impressive, huh?”

“Oh, certainly.” Said the cat, looking slyly while licking his lips.

“What’s with that look?”

“…”

“…Yeah, that was on me for trying to impress a cat...”

The coach arrived at the capital, where Gioia saw that there was a large carnival was going on. Stopping half a mile from the royal castle, the queen and prince stepped out of the coach. “Please be patient, Marchioness. We’ll return shortly.”

As Gioia finally sat alone, she let herself slide down the seat. “Finally alone. That was so mortifying, I thought it was never going to end. Soon I’ll be dressed and if that cat doesn’t screw his own plan up, I might become a princess.” She decided to take a peek out the window, where she saw her prince charming walk next to the queen. He looked back, smiled at Gioia and waved at her…

Before a small object rocketed towards the prince, hitting him straight into his open mouth. He grabbed his throat and bend his knees, grasping his air.

“My Lord, the prince is ****!” A peasant yelled.

“Somebody save my son!” Begged the queen.

But nobody stepped forward.

Gioia thought her options through. Her father told her what to do when someone’s ****, but that would mean exposing herself to the entire kingdom. She could stay inside, and hopefully someone else would help.

But seeing the price go blue, she took a deep sigh. “Screw it.”

She flung the door open and dashed to the **** prince.

“Good lord, a nude maiden!” A peasant yelled.

“Is she some shameless hussy?”

“You know, between the **** prince and a streaker, this might be the greatest festival in years.”

Gioia didn’t care. She had to save him. She wrapped her arms around him and started thrusting him.

The cat came running back, surprised when he saw his naked owner performing the heimlich on the prince. He dashed towards and spoke.

“Gioia, I’m not sure what’s happenin’ here, but I take it yer saving him from ****.”

“Yeah, kinda obvious, cat!”

“I see that yer dad that ya what to do, except ya made one small mistake…”

“That is?”

“Yer supposed to stand behind the victim, not in front. Doing it like this makes like yer doing… y’know?”

“Oh….” Said Gioia ashamed. She quickly stood behind the prince and continued. At last the object dislodged, which was a half eaten union.

“You… you saved my life.” Spoke the prince. Almost like an answer, the crowds started cheering for Gioia, which made her even more embarrassed.

Suddenly, a woman in royal garb (Isabela Merced) ran towards the two. “You, what are you doing to my fiancé?!”

“Well, I- Wait, your fiancé?!”