Sometimes you can smell the green if your mind is feeling fine

When the universe stopped spinning, everybody was standing in the hallway of the Harem Hotel, a little shaken, but otherwise doing fine.

It took a second for Nick and the others to get their bearings.

“Wait… I recognize this place,” Nick realized, looking around the hallway. “This is… yeah, this is where the rooms all converge!”

They were standing in the specially-designed hallway, where all four rooms were built into the four sides of the hall, and the elevator leading up to the Master’s Suite (or down to the rest of the hotel) was installed.

Only something had changed. The rooms had all shifted, and the floor had reoriented itself so that the elevator was located right at the end of the hallway.

“If you’ll notice, I did a bit of redecorating,” Dakota said with an amused smirk. “It just wasn’t doing it, having the four cardinal directions. Whoever came up with that design must have been obsessed with tackiness!”

Sylvia shrank down a little, looking completely dejected.

“Hey, I thought it was cool,” Marley said, patting her on the back.

“Yeah, I thought the idea was very anime!” Morgana nodded in agreement. Their support made Sylvia feel a little better.

Dakota continued, gesturing towards the elevator. “As you’ll see, instead of the rooms rotating around the Master’s Suite, surrounding it from all sides, I thought it would be better if the Master’s Suite was all on its own, right here, and the hallway led down to the girls in the harem. Just to show how separated and above them the master really is. If you’ll come with me…”

She led them down a short hallway to an open room with circular walls, and hallways leading in different directions. It was a hub of some sort for six other hallways, with a lowered floor. In the center of the small divot were couches, a TV, a small bar with a mini fridge, and even a pool table.

“Whoa, what’s this place?” Gina looked around, cracking a grin. “This is totally cool!”

“This is a common area for you girls to lounge around and relax on your off-hours,” Dakota informed the girls. “You can come and go, do as you please, what have you. It’s a lot better than spending all your time cooped up in your rooms or hanging around in the Banquet Hall, wouldn’t you agree?” She asked with a laugh.

The other girls shrugged and nodded.

“What’s that board over there?” Dawn asked, pointing at a large pinboard hanging on wall. “What’s that for?”

“You’ll find out,” Dakota informed the girls with a cryptic giggle.

Nick winced. Whenever Dakota hid something from the others, you could bet it wasn’t a good sign. He hoped that it wouldn’t be too big of a problem, though.

“This place is pretty cool!” Rose nodded in agreement, flopping down on one of the couches. “And the seats are so comfy!”

“Yeah, it’s almost too nice,” Dani said, stroking her chin. She was suspicious as a matter of course. “What’s the deal here? What aren’t you telling us?”

“No strings attached, honest!” Dakota held up her hands to show that she wasn’t hiding anything up her sleeves. But she was still holding her cane, so it rang pretty hollow. The shit-eating grin on her face didn’t help matters, either.

“I think we’re just gonna have to go with it,” Kim sighed, shaking her head. “What else can we really do, you know?”

“I think you’ve buried the lead here long enough,” Amelia said, crossing her arms over her chest. “This wasn’t about showing off this nice recreational room, was it?” She didn’t even know what the old hallway looked like, so she was far from impressed. “When are you going to show the rooms where we’ll be living?”

Dakota blinked.

Then she smirked.

“…Why, of course,” she nodded, lifting the hem of her dress in a polite curtsy. “Right this way, if you would be so kind.”

The girls followed Dakota to the closest of the hallways. It was more of an indent in the wall than an actual hallway, but it was close enough. A door waited for them on the other side.

“Allow me to show you the first room,” Dakota said, cracking the door open. “Since Amelia was so insistent about seeing the new rooms, I thought we could start with where Team Order will be staying for the rest of the round!”

The door swung open and Dakota led the girls into the room.

“Whoa, what the heck?!” Gina exclaimed.

“Dude, this is awesome!” Dani cracked a grin.

“It’s… wow…” Mary breathed, looking around in amazement. “It’s so pretty! It’s just like…”

“It’s a garden!” Kim blurted out, unable to keep her emotions in check. “An actual garden! That’s so cool! What the heck!?”

The room looked less like a bedroom and more like a jungle paradise. Instead of carpet, the floor was a nice soft grass, that seemed to part as they stepped onto it instead of get smashed down. Flowerbeds lined the walls, along with a countless array of other potted plants. It looked like an exotic forest of some kind! Heck; even the walls were painted to resemble a bright blue sky, with rows of trees stretching out into the horizon.

“Is that a river? You’re kidding me…” Amelia shook her head incredulously. She’d have to start getting used to the weirdness of this place, but… come on! A small stream passing right through the room?! That was a little ridiculous.

“So this is the bed huh?” Vivian was already inspecting where she’d be sleeping. The bed seemed to be carved out of a single chunk of wood, and raised up on a little dais shaped like a tree stump. It was patterned like tree leaves. “Judging by the size, I’m guessing we’ll have to share, huh?”

“Exactly correct,” Dakota confirmed with a nod. “All of you girls will be sharing a bed with your buddy; we haven’t changed THAT much.”

“So why have a room like an indoor garden in the first place?” Dawn asked, stepping out onto the patio. Like the inside of the room, it was also covered in plantlife.

“Because some people like it,” Dakota replied with a shrug. “Isn’t that right, Kim?”

Kim couldn’t hide the giddy smile on her face. In spite of the hard day she’d had that had hardened her heart, she was really enjoying herself.

“…Wait! Dakota! Are you going to be switching rooms every round?” Sylvia gasped, realizing what Dakota meant by that.

Dakota, on her part, seemed amazed Sylvia had realized. “Hmm. It seems like you’ve gained more awareness than I thought,” she noted with an amused expression. “Yes. That’s exactly right. Now that we’ve scrapped the Auditionee system, we needed a new method of mixing things up. You girls deciding who you’re going to buddy up with, well, that was getting a little boring, as this last round just proved. Those of you who had a choice in the matter, you just stuck with your same buddies, isn’t that right?”

The girls from those three groups all looked at their buddies and nodded sheepishly as they turned back to Dakota.

“See? Exactly my point,” Dakota scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Where’s the fun in that? Not to mention, we want to give the new girls a chance to mingle with you all as well. So here’s the change- starting now, the audience will be determining who you sleep with!”

Everyone reacted in shock at that idea.

“What?!”

“You can’t be serious!”

“The audience is going to choose our buddies for us?!”

Dakota slowly turned to the camera and held her finger up to her lips with a “shh” and winked.

Then she turned back to address the girls’ complaints.

“Yes, that’s right!” She nodded firmly. “The audience will be choosing your buddies for you. Or, more specifically, after each challenge, they’ll be voting for which room they want you in the most! The two girls with the highest number of votes for a specific room will spend the rest of the round in that room, as buddies! Sound fun?”

“It sounds confusing,” Gina said, scratching her head.

“That would certainly be a way to shake things up,” Dawn nodded, stroking her chin thoughtfully. “So rather than picking who we’ll be paired up with, the audience will decide what room they want us in, and we get whoever we end up with.”

“I think that’s a brilliant idea!” Sylvia gushed. She wasn’t even mad that Dakota had chosen to discard her own idea; this one sounded amazing!

“I had a feeling you’d like it,” Dakota smirked.

Dawn was still considering all the possibilities. “So it doesn’t matter who wins or loses the challenges, then,” she pointed out. “Since the winner won’t be choosing their buddy; the buddies will be chosen by the audience.”

Dakota nodded. “Indeed. Having you girls choose amongst yourselves was too stressful for the audience; their comfort is key, don’t forget.”

“Well, I have no idea what you guys were doing before, but from what I gather, that means I might not be stuck in this room after all, huh?” Vivian was certainly pleased to hear that. “Don’t get me wrong, I like gardens, but does this place even have any indoor plumbing?”

Dakota pointed her cane towards a door built into the side of the sky-covered wall, which nearly blended into the background so well Vivian had missed it completely.

“Fair enough,” she nodded. “Only, where’s Octavia gonna sleep? No way there’s enough room on that bed. It’s like half the size of the one I have back home!”

Dakota smirked. Marley gave Vivian a guilty expression, then glanced over at Carly.

The insinuation was clear, and Vivian wasn’t a fan of it.

“…Well, we’ll work that out later,” she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Nick was just surprised that she was actually put off by something. He’d thought she was completely unflappable!

“Well, now that we’ve all had a chance to check out this room, shall we go see where Team Chaos will be staying?” Dakota suggested, clapping her hands together. “It’s the next room down the hall, right this way!”

Nick really hoped Dakota hadn’t sadistically assigned them to “the **** chamber room” or whatever.

It turns out, his suspicions were so far off the mark it was kind of unreal.

“Whoa…” Mary breathed.

“This place is even cooler than the last one!” Holly said, looking around in amazement.

Color. The whole room was covered in color. Not in the sense of a gaudy paintjob or anything like that, but because the room was covered in decorations that seemed almost like…

“It’s candy,” Gina said, sticking her finger into the stream of flowing brown liquid and lifting it up to her lips. “This whole place is made out of candy!”

“She’s right!” Rose breathed, staring in amazement at all the pastries that covered the walls; she picked up a sitting cushion that resembled a truffle. “It’s all candy!”

“Yes,” Dakota nodded. “It’s all candy. I took a bit of inspiration from one of my favorite movies from childhood, you see, and designed a room where every single thing in it is capable of being eaten. …Minus the light fixtures, of course. And the other electronics. Please don’t eat those.”

Ella was at a loss for words. The sweet smell of sugar slammed into her face like a tidal wave. “I-I… I never got to eat any sweets…” She stammered as drool filled her mouth. “My stepmother never let me have desserts…”

Her head was spinning; if Cinder hadn’t been just as amazed as Ella, she might have taken over. Both sides of her were equally enthralled by the wonderful paradise in front of them.

Ella wasn’t the only one thrilled by it, though.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin was rocking on the balls of her feet, practically jumping up and down on the marshmallow-padded floor. She looked like she wanted to ask something, but without her voice, she obviously couldn’t.

But Dakota had a good idea of what she wanted to say.

“I’m sorry, Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin, but there’s no ice cream here,” she said, shaking her head with practiced glumness. “It would melt too quickly. But don’t worry! The rest of the food here has been specially-preserved; it won’t ever go bad, even if you step on it! It’s all thanks to the magic on the room!”

To prove her point, she reached down and ripped a chunk of marshmallow off the floor and popped it into her mouth.

“I’m just glad that those two get a nice room like this,” Nick said, glancing at Ella and Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin. They really needed a bit of positivity here.

“Well then, now that we’ve seen the rooms of our newest girls, shall we see where the old crew will be hanging out?” Dakota asked rhetorically, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Come along now, there are still four rooms left to explore!”

She led the group to the next room.

“Sylvia and Gina, you two are the only members with a new team arrangement,” Dakota pointed out. “Team Delinquent Daughters. To help you two get along better, I thought it was only fitting to give you a nice, sweet, romantic suite to get to know one another!”

Laughing in amusement at her own observation, Dakota opened the door and led them inside.

Nick blushed. He wasn’t the only one. The room had a nice smell to it, floral, like roses, fueled by incense. And the lighting was dim, lit primarily by candles. The bed where the girls would be sleeping was shaped in the shape of a heart, with red sheets and a translucent silk canopy. It looked like a honeymoon suite, or something out of a love hotel.

“This is the Romantic Suite,” Dakota informed the girls. “The previous two were the Candy Suite and the Garden Suite. But the Romantic Suite, well, it’s certainly a nice place for couples to bond together. In all manner of ways…”

She walked over to the far wall and opened the door. The group followed her over, and took a look at what was in the next room.

…It wasn’t the bathroom.

“Yeek!” Ella squeaked, stumbling backwards.

“That’s a little… ****,” Kim said, making a face.

Mary nodded, her face bright red. She was too embarrassed to even think about what was being put on display there.

The room was filled with BDSM equipment. Whips, flogs, even a large wooden “X” for suspending someone to; you name it, it was there.

Dakota just laughed. “Well, there are all sorts of different romances,” she pointed out. “It takes all kinds, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I don’t have a problem with staying here,” Gina said, cracking a grin.

“Me neither!” Sylvia chirped, shameless as always. “Who knows? It might even be fun!”

Nick sighed. He really doubted that. But he wasn’t about to assert his own morals onto the situation.

“Glad you girls like it so much,” Dakota said. “Shall we see where Team Loners will be staying, next?”

Dawn and Morgana glanced at each other. That was them. They swallowed their worries and followed after Dakota with the rest of the group.

The next room was a sight to see as well.

“Wheeew! Now this is nice!” Vivian whistled in appreciation. She looked around the room and cracked a grin. “This is just like back home! I’d love to live somewhere like this!”

“It’s amazing!” Rose breathed.

Team Loners’ room reminded Nick of the fine art galleries he’d been to in Rose’s private date with him. Everything was spotless, and seemed to gleam. Fancy statues and expensive-looking artwork covered the walls and floor. The furniture was covered in either polished marble or fancy leather, and a crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling. The bed itself was made of the finest silk.

“Welcome to the Luxury Suite,” Dakota said, waving her hand across the fancy room. “Only the Master’s Suite contains more splendor! Don’t you think this is a magnificent place to call your own?”

Dawn and Morgana were honestly at a loss for words. They both lived comfortable lives, but neither of them had even come CLOSE to the amount of wealth on display in this room. They looked at each other in shock.

“I-I guess it’s nice,” Morgana said, trying to smile.

“It’s pretty nice, yeah,” Dawn nodded in agreement.

“Aagh, why can’t this be my room?” Rose whined, flopping down onto the bed. “A plush bed like this, all these wonderful art fixtures, it’s like this place was DESIGNED for me! It’s just not fair! A room like this deserves a lady of class!”

“Probably why you didn’t get it,” Kim noted with a smirk.

Rose sat up in bed and shot her a dirty look.

“Whoa!” Dani gasped. While the other girls had been checking out the fancy riches, she’d been admiring the paintings. “This is a Monet! And that’s a Kahlo over there! And a Van Gogh!”

“We’re not spendthrift here at Harem Hotel,” Dakota noted with amusement. “Only the best for the Luxury Suite!”

Nick had to admit, the room was nice. But at the same time, that’s all it was- nice. It wasn’t like the candy room or the jungle room, or even the romantic one with the sex dungeon. What you saw was pretty clearly what you got, and that’s why Dakota was happy to lead them off to the next room, where Carly, Marley, and Rose would be staying. Team Star was a little antsy, especially Rose; she hoped her room would be just as nice as the last!

And if the Luxury Suite didn’t have much going for it… this room definitely did.

“Welcome to the Arcade Suite,” Dakota declared, throwing open the door.

Carly marveled in amazement.

“Whoa! This is so cool! Look at all those games!” She exclaimed, running straight into the room.

Nick was instantly brought back to his childhood. How many long hours had he wasted away playing at those arcade games in his youth? Whether at mini-golf or at the laser tag place, he had spent so many hours on those machines, it defied belief.

And now, it was like every single one of them was here.

“This suite definitely has a lot of fun activities to occupy your time,” Dakota said. “These games are all free to play, do as you like! Invite your friends over, even; I’m sure a few of them would enjoy playing as well.”

“You mean it?!” Dani was already eyeing up the air hockey table and the skee ball machine.

“We don’t have to wager clothes though, right?” Morgana asked suspiciously. She really wanted to play, but at the same time, she wasn’t sure if she should or not. She still remembered how their day at the Amusement Park went.

Dakota just laughed. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that! Just go on and have fun! This is certainly a great room to spend your time in.”

“…Sure, you might think so,” Rose scowled, walking over to the racecar bed and sitting down. “I don’t even LIKE video games!”

Maybe she could talk Morgana into a trade, so she could get to the Luxury Suite. The goth girl certainly seemed to like it here a lot better, anyway.

Dakota let them play for a bit, but then she cleared her throat. They couldn’t stay here forever, after all.

“I know you girls are enjoying yourselves, but we have one more room to get to,” she reminded them. “Dani? Kim?”

Dani and Kim looked up from their game of air hockey.

Kim groaned. “Come on, we’re almost-”

SMASH!

“Yes! Hah! Take that!” Dani crowed.

“Hey!” Kim turned red. “That’s not fair! I wasn’t-! …Oh, forget it,” she muttered, hanging her head and grumbling to herself. She shuffled over to Dakota and the rest of the group joined up again soon after, ready for the last room.

“Now, this one, this is one I think you might like quite a bit,” Dakota said, entering the last room. “Even if you girls ARE Team Tomboy. I call it… the Fashion Suite!”

The room was set up like a giant walk-in closet. Or like the display section of a department store. Countless outfits covered mannequins all across the room, and different shirts, pants, and dresses hung from the walls. There were stations set up to display fancy handbags, and an entire wall dedicated to shoes. In the corner, a large full-length mirror was set up, and beside it, a smaller, brighter mirror for doing makeup; and there was a LOT of makeup to pick from.

Vivian’s eyes widened with glee when she laid eyes on the room. “Okay, now THIS? This is MUCH more my style!” She crowed, strutting into the room like a model on the runway. “Sign me up for this one next time!”

She paused, turned to where she imagined the camera was, and tilted down her sunglasses. “I mean it,” she informed the audience. “Vote for this one, please!” She pleaded with a flirtatious wink.

“This is a little creepy, honestly,” Dani said, looking around at all the lifeless mannequins. “What, did you decide that you wanted a house of horrors or something? Were you out of ideas?”

“Oh, not at all,” Dakota said, shaking her head. “This is a special room, with special restrictions. Simply, you may borrow whatever outfits you want to wear from here! No need to continually buy new clothes at the boutique!”

“Hey!” Kim crossed her arms over her chest.

Vivian perked up when she heard the word “boutique” and started listening in closely.

Kim was still miffed, but then she had a new thought. “…Hey, wait, if we can wear whatever we want from here, then does that mean-”

“It doesn’t overwrite your clothing transformations,” Dakota cut her off immediately, leaving Kim dejected.

“Come on, that’s not fair! Look at how happy Dani is!” Kim groaned. Dani was already picking out an outfit. Finally, she could wear pants without it having to be cost-prohibitive!

“Don’t worry!” Dakota assured Kim with a smile. “If you want to try on something new, well… you can always take a break from your transformation obligations, remember?”

Kim’s eyes widened with realization. “…So THAT’S why you put me in this room,” she said, glowering at the host. “To try and tempt me into using Sick Day!”

Dakota shrugged. She didn’t even both denying it; no one would buy it anyhow.

“Enjoy the rooms,” she said. “And on the subject of sick days… Kim, are you sure you haven’t changed your mind? Because it’s about time for wo-oooorrrk,” she sang, and Kim sighed in resignation.

“…Yeah, might as well get it over with,” she mumbled, taking one last look at all the nice clothes she wouldn’t be able to wear, before Dakota whisked her away to go work at another clothing store filled with nice clothes she wouldn’t be able to wear.