Cutting down the harem!

"Hey, does Doe seem different to you, somehow?" Your best friend Isaac asked.

You shrug. None of your friends really talk to John Doe. He always seemed like he was in his own little world. "I do think it's weird that he's talking to Sasha Pierce. She's never that nice to me."

"And he's always staying after class with Ms. Woods, when before he was a straight B student. But maybe I'm just pocket watching."

Your other best friend and secret-but-only-to-her-crush Rachel takes a seat next to you in the cafeteria. "Guys. If you think John is secretly a **** dealer, just ask him! As long as he doesn't think you're wearing a wire, he probably won't hurt you."

"Probably?"

"Real vote of confidence there, Rach."

"Don't be babies, you two. I'll go talk to him. You'll see."

When Rachel walks away to John's lunch table, time freezes around you. An older, grizzlier, hardier version of yourself taps you on the shoulder, causing you to yell.

"They always yell...."

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! WHY IS EVERYTHING FROZEN! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE MY GRANDDAD!"

"I'm you from the future. Time stop. I'm you from the future. That answer all your questions?"

"No! Why are you here?"

Future you takes off his sunglasses so he can look at you in the eyes as he says this. "I'm here to give you a mission. Destroy John Doe's harem or the world will end."