Thought for food

"Well, from where I'm from, orcs are considered pretty stupid." Tara said.

"Are you sure you're not from around here?" Helena asked, "Because that pretty much describes our orcs to a T."

"Yes, but a half-orc's intelligence varies." Lucile commented. "Sometimes they're dumb as a post, but other times they're pretty smart."

"Let's see here..." Tara said, pulling up the almanac of creatures of this world. "Wish they'd sort this alphabetically. Okay, Manticore... Vampire... Unicorn... Gelatinous Cube... Drop bear... Werewolf... Wereshark... Werehyena... Weretiger... Werechicken?! Okay, that is sooo not a real thing!"

"They are actually." Helena said, shuddering slightly. "My Uncle Gordon got bitten by one and... Whoo boy! Those things are nasty."

"Ah ha! Orcs and half-orcs." Tara said as she pulled up the file. "Let's see... 'Half-orc intelligence can vary, but are usually not too bright and are easily distracted by either food, treasure, a potential mate, or any combination of the three. Potential mates are usually the race that surved as the mother, while they prefer the taste of pork above all other meats'."

"And just how are we supposed to know what race the mother was? Ask her?" Emily asked.

"Well, it also says they love pork..."

"Oh no!" Talrach stated, frowning as she narrowed her eyes at Tara. "I am not risking the life of one of my wild pig friends!"

"Fortunately, you won't have to because we have a shape-shifter in our mists." Tara said, turning to look at Emily.

"... Never have I ever felt like my gift was a curse before this very moment." Emily said with a sigh. "Okay. I am fast and smart enough to lose her and get back before she realizes it."

"Alright, we have our plan!" Tara exclaimed before turning to Integra. "Lead the way to the bandit tower, Ms. Integra! And thanks."

"Oh no, Chosen One..." Integra said with a chuckle as she turned and led the group forward. The second she did, her lips cured up into an evil grin as she added, "Thank you."

"And why would you help us willin- OW!" Collette yelped as she turned and glowered at one of the scrubbing maids. "Careful, you idiot! I said to scrub off the smell, not my skin!"

"A thousand apologies, Ms. Collette." The Maid squeaked.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" Clarisse asked.

"Tell me," Integra began as she leaned against a tree, "what do you three know about The Legend of Destran the Reasonable?"

"The wizard that came close to overthrowing Intectus by separating his power into three, but completely dropped the ball by having the third one have the largest factor of his powers?" Cevin asked before nodding. "We heard of it."

"Yes. So you also know that the remaining two-thirds of the trio had been scattered while the final piece remains in his castle, awaiting the day the final two are reunited with the third and return the emperor to his full power." Integra replied. With a smirk, she then asked, "What if I told you three that the old wizard's castle was still standing after the old fool's ****."

"Pfft! That's just an old fairy tale!" Collette laughed.

"Is that so, Lady Stinky?" Integra asked, raising an eyebrow challengingly.

Collette growled as she narrowed her eyes. "Assuming you're not making this up, what is even there to help us get our ****? What the hell do you get out of this?"

"A band of thieves and their half-orc bodyguard have called the tower their lair for a while." Integra explained, "They have filled many of the rooms with vast treasures they have stolen over the years, including The Amulet of Thungada..."

"The Amulet of Thungada?!" Clarisse gasped, dropping her crate as a grin came to her face. "That makes The Pendant of Thor look like a baby toy! Once I slip that on and get the electric powers from it... Haha! Clarisse the Scourge is back and feared once more!"

"Unfortunately, there is one problem: The half-orc guard." Integra admitted. "She won't be an easy obstacle. We'll need to distract her to get inside."

"A half-orc is easily distracted, anyway. That'll be a piece of cake." Collette said as she took a whiff of her arm, recoiling in disgust. "More soap!"

"There isn't anymore, Ma'am." One of the maids whimpered.

"Have I mentioned that, as I was spying on them, I found that they've stolen several crates of Dragon Root?"

"Dragon Root?!" Collette gasped, suddenly interested. "Mixed with hot water, vinegar, and rose puree, dragon root juice has enough strength to remove the body odor of a giant, let alone skunk musk. If you are telling the truth..." Collette snapped her fingers at the maids, "Get me a towel and two sets of clothes; one to wear up there and one to change into after I get rid of this smell!"

"Right away, Ms. Collette!" The maids said as they scurried into the house.

"But what exactly do you get out of this?" Cevin asked.

"Me?" Integra asked with a smirk, "Oh, I get the satisfaction of seeing those wronged get their just reward! Now, you three get dressed and I'll teleport us to just outside the tower."

"Thank you so much, Ms. Integra!" Clarisse exclaimed as she and Cevin ran into the house just as Collette was wrapped into another cloth diaper and a towel by a maid, the eldest sibling soon following her siblings inside.

Once alone outside, Integra smirked evilly as she shook her head. "No, you naive fools. Thank you."

"How much further is this tower again?" Tara asked as Integra led the group forward. The group had been walking for three hours since Tara's brainstorming.

"It should be just around... There!" Integra said quietly, stopping as she stuck out her arm in front of the six.

There was a tall, stone tower in the middle of a clearing, the building whithered and cracked after several decades. However, what held the group's attention was the 10'02" chunky yet muscular woman with pointed ears, green skin, and a surprisingly cute face with a small fang sticking out of the top right corner of her mouth sleeping in front of the tower entrance, snoring loudly enough to drown out a hurricane. She was dressed in a leather loincloth on her lower half, barely covering her massive rear end, and a steel breastplate that contained her B cup breasts up top.

"This had better work..." Emily muttered as she slowly began to shape-shift into a fat, round hog. Letting out a series of snorts and oinks, Emily trotted forward in order to get the half-orc's attention.

Strangely though, the half-orc didn’t budge, merely turning over onto her stomach and scratching her green ass. "Olga want bigger cut of treasure..." The Half-Orc, Olga, muttered in her sleep. "Olga do most of work..."

Emily snorted before trotting back to the group, transforming back to normal with a sigh. "Apparently, it needs to be an actual pig in order to work."

Talrach whimpered at that. "Is there really no other way?"

"Well..." Lucile began, not wanting to see her crush upset. "I do have a spell that can cause things to move faster than they normally would. I mean, I haven’t tested it yet, but -"

"Oh Lucy! You're the best friend a tiefling could ask for!" Talrach said as she wrapped her arms around her friend's neck, giving the witch a kiss on the cheek.

"Heh! Sure... 'Friend'."

"I'll see if I can find a boar that's willing to help."

Integra watched on with an amused smile before turning away, watching as the second Integra appeared with a now fully dressed Clarisse, Cevin, and Collette in a flash of light...

"The Tower of Destran the Reasonable!" Collette gasped in shock and awe. "The legends were true."

"And you doubted me." Integra said with a chuckle.

"Okay, so how do we draw that thing away?" Clarisse asked.

"I don't know about calling her a 'thing'." Cevin commented, tilting his head as he looked at Olga's face. "She actually looks kinda cute... for a half-orc, I mean."

"Okay, Mr. Wilbur." Talrach whispered to the wild boar after Lucile finished casting her spell, "Just think fast, and you'll go fast. Okay?"

The boar snorted nervously as it trotted towards the tower and the sleeping half-orc, Talrach nervously biting her nails. As the boar came closer, Olga began to stir as she sniffed the air.

"Olga smell..." she muttered before her eyes shot open, revealing two baby blue eyes. "Olga smell pork! Olga smell food!"

Jumping to her feet, Olga stared at the boar hungrily as she began to drool. The boar squealed before running off into the woods at a speed faster than any boar had been seen moving before, the half-orc chasing after it.

"It worked. It actually worked!" Lucile whispered excitedly.

"Okay, on my signal we enter the tower when she leaves." Tara said, "One... Two..."

Suddenly, Olga came to a stop, sniffing the air as her eyes widened.

"What? Why did she stop?!" Tara hissed.

"What the hell are they doing here?!" Collette hissed, "It's bad enough they humiliated us, but now they're storming the same tower we are?!"

"At least we can destroy them without hunting them down. Nice idea with the pig, though." Clarisse commented. Her eyes squinted as she saw the white haired woman in the black cloak, unable to see her face. "Wait... Who's that?"

"Um, why did she stop chasing the pig?" Cevin asked in confusion.

"Olga smells..." Olga said as she looked around, "Olga smells human..."

"I think she might've just figured it out..." Tara muttered as the group got ready to fight.

"Olga not smell any human. Olga smell..." Olga took a deep breath as she turned towards the opposite direction of the group as her eyes became hearts. "OLGA SMELL MAN!"