Waiting

“Dear contestants, what do you think of your options? We put some variety into the choices. Some **** options up there for sure.”

Besides some gentle rambling from Mia and chewing noises, no one outside the stage spoke a peep. Julie rubbed her face and looked past Mia to Tatiana. Tatiana glanced between Julie, the stage, and Rita. Rita twiddled with the belt of her jacket. Mica stared straight ahead, her hand gently massaging her neck. As one can on a lawn chair, Clara sat on the edge of it; her gaze was fixed on Justine.

“Let’s not all start talking at once.” Justine huffed.

She looked up in the air for a second before clapping her hands.

She beamed. “I know, we’ll go down the popularity list.”

“So Julia, how do you feel about your options?” As she pressed a microphone in front of Julia.

Julia blinked. When had that woman moved in front of her? And where did that microphone come from? Her right hand tightened into a fist before relaxing. She glanced toward the stage and saw the screen. It was displaying her ‘choices’.

The corner of her mouth twitched. “I know enough about hotel work. I lived in a hotel for most of my life. I am perfectly fine not having anything more to do with hotels.”

“I feel your passion for your opinion on option two. How about the other options?”

“I do not give a flip between the two. Have a coin to decide between the two for all I care.”

“Spicy words from Bakuchiku-Chan. Is it a winning move? We shall see.”

Justine sauntered over to Clara and pointed the mic toward her.

“We pass the baton over to Mademoiselle Espionne. Do you care to speak at all? Might sway people one way or the other towards what you like.”

Clara stared at Justine without a sound. Justine sighed and snapped her fingers. The butler appeared and gave Justine a wine glass filled with a burgundy liquid. She offered the glass to Clara. Clara shuffled a little in the seat and continued the silence.

Justine shrugged. “It’s a shame to leave one’s fate entirely to others, besides the obvious. Well, let fate and the audience decide.”

Rita squirmed as Justine quickly slid right next to her.

Taking a small sip of the liquid, Justine purred. “Lovely Rita, you’re up next. By the way, you were ranked first by a good portion of our audience. How do you feel about that?”

“… I don’t know.”

“Well, popularity is hard to judge whether it’s good or not to have. About your options, what are we thinking?”

“… well, I guess the third option jumps at me the most. It sounds good for my job. Then again, do I want to do bartending for a long time? I guess it would be a neat party trick. I do feel that you are not telling the negatives of these choices. Or at least downplaying it. The first option is of that sort. I guess I would be fine having some weight put on. At the same time, it does depend on where. Could the second one be good? Not having to think about things could be good. What about …”

Rita shivered as Justine gripped her shoulder.

“OK, I’m stopping you there. After all, we don’t have the runtime for your endless waffling. You saved that for over drinks. If you still can do so.”

Justine released Rita and turned around.

“By the way, those pierogies were delicious. So, as a department head, do you have any comments on the options presented?”

Tatiana barely glanced at the screen as she held up three fingers. “None of them are good. What the heck is the option that splits me into three of me supposed to be? I cannot imagine how you are doing that or what it would be like to be that.”

She curled a finger. “The other two are no better. With the second one, what happens if I die during that jump? I go from having a normal day to seeing my parents at the pearly gates. No, thank you.”

She pointed at Justine. “That first one implies that I think I am Miss Perfect. Hell, I want to be proven wrong from time to time.”

She slammed her fist onto the lawn chair. “I demand to whoever wrote this ridiculous nonsense to make new choices.”

Justine gave a Chester Cat smile. “The chair presented some strong statements. Nothing in those words gives the audience a clue of what to vote for. And also not in your control at all.”

“Well..”

A finger pressed onto Tatiana’s lips. “Shh, we are moving on.”

Justine turned towards Mia. Spotting a glass in Mia’s hand, she frowned. She glanced reproachfully at the butler. He shrugged.

Justine focused back on the task hand. “Nǐ hǎo kōngjiě xiǎojiě. Would you care to elaborate on your feelings on the topic at hand? Maybe just read and say what comes to mind.”

Mia glazed at the options before closing her eyes. “Mee and Spl hic it minds. I amm also in a a titzzy on romance, it seeems. Leaf nothing ,,, to wastte? I'm done with Pill ,,, boxes leafing shit ,,, aground. Pleaase leaf unn …”

Justine gently shook Mia. All that did was send the glass tumbling into the butler's hand. Mia shifted slightly and started gently snoring. Justine swirled the liquid in her glass. The corners of her mouth twitched.

“Guess we’ll move on to a contestant that has not passed out from drinking one too many Free Cuba.”

Justine ascended the stage and tipped her glass over to Alexa. The glowing lights disappeared around her. She strolled over and pointed the microphone towards Alexa.

“My dear, many would like to know about your mental status. What have you retained in that noggin of yours besides sex? Don’t skip on any details, if you please.”

Alexa brushed a strand of hair aside and crossed her arms. “There is nothing wrong with my mental faculties. I suppose you would find some way of punishment if I do this incorrectly. Very well. I won’t bother to tell my life story. I remember your stupid pamphlet. When I got home from work, among the mail pile was your pamphlet. I must have been on a couch reading your damn booklet when exhaustion took over.”

She glanced at the lawn chairs and pool. “The next item I recall is being on stage with the glowing lights floating around me. And apparently, that was preventing me from being heard. I presume that you are the host of the infernal Harem Hotel. I presume the people I can see are the other competitors for this twisted delusion. I do think that covers most of my bases.”

She fixed her eyes onto Justine’s. “I do believe it's your turn to answer my questions. Who funds this production? Is this production somewhere in the universe I know? Did you stick it in a parallel dimension? What is the relationship between you and that butler?”

“Good questions. However, we need to get to the meat and potatoes of the discussion. What do you think of your options?”

“Not dignifying my questions. Very well.” She turned and carefully looked at the large screen.

“Out of those presented, I prefer ‘It All Adds Up’. It has the best upside and minimal downside. The eating one sounds very chaotic and frankly would make your end difficult. What would an audience get out of me eating something? I don’t see the point of telling stories. Nothing is interesting about my past. Furthermore, I don’t know that I want to know my future that well. Presumably, it would show me the consequences of this show; I have zero interest in seeing that.”

Justine grinned. “Well, very simple and sweet, I say. Don’t let the future of your mind weigh too much. And no, I am not answering any of your questions now. Please have a seat.”

Alexa pensively glared at Justine for a moment. She slowly trod over to one of the empty lawn chairs. Justine watched for a moment, then swung around to Agatha. She snapped her fingers, and the lights around Agatha popped out.

“Onto a more argumentative contestant. How are you feeling after a little shaving of years? DO YOU FEEL REFRESHED?”

Agatha shiver. Opening her eyes, she moved her hands away from her head. She frowned as she squinted at Justine. She took a step forward. Her eyes ratcheted wide open as her hands flew to her lower back. She took a few deep breaths.

“Wh at did you do? Don’t tell me that you…”

“Oh, when I said turning back the clock, I meant turning it all back. Well, dear, there’s some pain relief in the BP store. Free to browse after the vote. Speaking of which, what do you think? Let Justin show you your options.”

The butler appeared next to Agatha, holding a tablet. Agatha shifted her head slowly down to look at the screen. She squinted at the screen for a while.

She slowly raised her head back up. “You are showing a load of nonsense. You're basic ally asking me how I’d like to be screwed over. I don’t see the point. All of them are stupid. Will you please…”

“I’m so sorry dear, nothing doing. Let me and Justin escort you down.”

Justine grabbed Agatha’s left arm and started hauling her down. The butler, supporting Agatha’s right shoulder, matched Justine’s pace. When Justine got to the empty lawn chairs, she’d let go of Agatha. The butler placed Agatha into her seat by the butler while Justine sauntered over to Mica.

“Pobre chica, not having a word in for the entire time we have been here. Though, you're not the only one. Do you think you can grace us with your voice?”

“.. you are *_cough _wild.”

“Glad you recovered enough for a discussion. I think you know what I’m asking. Anything catches your eye there?” As she waved her hand towards the big screen.

Mica studied the board. “I don’t know how you do the things you do. Those titles are terrible jokes. cough All of them are cough reactions about me, aren’t they?”

Justine smiled. “Look at Miss Chemistry here. Trying to figure things out. As I said before and…”

She sipped the burgundy liquid and pointed around “I’ll repeat what I said. It is not in your control, any of your control. So, are you going to answer the question?”

Mica coughed and shook her head. Her eyes glanced between the board and Justine.

Justine patted Mica's head. “Oh, you silly goose. I can see that one option does catch your eye. By not saying anything, the audience will not pick _that, _right? We shall see if that is how it goes.”

Justine strutted back onto the stage “And folks that all of the contestants. That’s their statements on what transformation they want or don’t want. As much as some of you would love to hear from our Master, we’re out of time for today. We will be back with their transformations and a challenge next time! Don’t forget to vote. Till we meet again zàihuì!”

A.N. Voting for round zero has been tabulated.