The Fool's Armory

Pete looked at Gideon, something seemed different about her, "Wait...are you...like real now?"

She frowned, "Huh? I was always real."

Pete shook his head, "No I mean like...not just in my head. Like...here take this." Pete passed her the lute he'd been carrying on his back.

"I can't..." Gideon said reflexively, but she tried anyway. She took the lute from him and held it for a moment, "I can...whoa. Ok. So wait I can't....nope. Fuck. I can't just go back in your head. So everyone can see me? I'm naked!"

Pete scratched his head, "I didn't think you would care."

"Look I'm the biggest perv you'll ever meet, but I'm more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist. I appeared to you mostly naked because well, I thought it would be funny. Give me your shirt."

Pete rolled his eyes but took off his shirt and gave it to her. It was a little cool without it, but he'd be fine. He was much taller than her so his shirt actually probably quite a bit of coverage. She'd still show her pussy by bending over at all, or with the slightest breeze, but she seemed more comfortable.

"Better? Ok let's go find some clothes then."

Pete was able to find a shop that sold clothing pretty easily. Despite her claim of not being an exhibitionist, she still chose pretty skimpy clothing. For a mere 10 gold he was able to get his shirt back and Gideon dressed herself in leather pants and a leather corset. Then it was time to find the party weapons.

Unfortunately Pete soon realized that the magic shop keeper hadn't been crazy. After getting a room for cheap he thought her prices were insane, but it turns out it was the room and board that was suspiciously low. He couldn't find any weapons with the meagre funds he had. Most of the places he went laughed him out of the store.

There was one store that he could afford. Unfortunately the selection was...less than desirable. "Welcome to the Fool's Armory!" A cheerful woman said as he entered, "I'm Isadora. What are you looking for today?"

Pete looked at her closely. She was about his age and she was probably beautiful, but it was hard to tell with all the soot and grime covering her. She wore an apron over her clothes but it didn't seem to have done much good protecting her. She was currently sitting at a table polishing a massive sword but it seems like she had as much polish on her clothes as on the sword.

"Uh looking for weapons. For myself and a party member." Pete explained. He looked over at Gideon, "Oh...do you need a weapon too?"

Gideon shrugged, "I don't know. I'm more of a lover than a fighter. I'll pass."

Isadora stopped polishing and looked at him, "I see. You are a bard, right? I've got the perfect weapon for you. One moment." She set down the polish and got up. She picked up a sword from another table and brought it to him. "It's called the Rhythmic Rapier. It's a heavily enchanted magic sword. Just holding it makes you stronger and faster..."

"I sense a but coming..." Pete sighed.

"...but every single produces sound. A talent bard could play any song just by waving it around. It sounds fun but most people find it far too annoying to use. Oh and it's loud. Here." She swung it though the air and a note sounded. It was loud enough to startle him, "It's even louder when it hits something. It's not for sneaking around. Here try it."

Pete accepted it and stepped back. He gave a few practice swings. It was loud, but now that he expected it he could live with it. He really did feel stronger just holding it. "Sure. How much?" He asked

"20 gold." Pete's eyes went wide hearing that. He couldn't even get a dagger for that price at other stores. "Sold. Anything for my rogue?"

She thought for a moment then went and grabbed some items and presented them to him, "This is called the Phantom Blade. The wielder can use it to phase through solid objects."

Pete waited for her to finish but she seemed to be done. He sighed, "But...?"

"But it slowly drives the wielder insane. What? It takes weeks or even years to happen....no? Fine. Oh is your rogue a man or a woman?"

"A woman." Pete answered.

"Aha then she can use this. It's called the Maiden's Bane. Men can't even touch the hilt, it can only be wielded by women. It's extremely powerful but it is cursed. The user will feel the need to compare her chest size against other women. She'll become extremely jealous of women with larger chests."

Pete rubbed his chin and thought about it, Tiffany was pretty well endowed after the boob-bee incident, "How jealous are we talking here? And how powerful is it?"

"Well... seeing someone in passing you might make a ride comment. Traveling with them for weeks you might be inclined to sabotage their equipment or fuck their boyfriend. And if it wasn't cursed I could get 10000 gold for it."

"And how much for it now?" Pete asked.

"20 gold as well." She said. Pete sighed and paid her. At least they had something to fight with now. He thanked her and turned to leave but stopped when Gideon materialized in front of him.

"Pete I've been trying to access my magic and it wasn't working. Everything is different here, it's hard to explain. But I think I've figured it out...can I try it? On her?"

Pete looked over at Isadora, she'd gone back to polishing her sword, "Try what exactly?"

"Making her boobs bigger of course." Gideon said with a smile, "She could use the upgrade."

Pete rolled his eyes, "No. I don't want to get in any more trouble."

Gideon bit her lip, "Oh....well I sorta kinda already did. Look."

Pete looked and saw Isadore put down her polishing cloth. She stood up and looked down in amazement as her chest swelled. He waited for her to curse them out but she didn't. "Shoot...I must have touched that axe by accident. Oh well..." She sat back down and started polishing again.

Pete looked at Gideon, "Ok. You got lucky. Let's get going."