I Want To Deny Myself. I Can't.

Part of me wanted to hold out, to resist. Part of me wanted to deny myself.

But who was I kidding? I couldn't help myself.

It was building now and though I wanted to hold out, to not humiliate myself by being the first to cum in this encounter, I knew it was impossible to resist it. It was just coming on too fast and it was coming on too strong and I was shaking already, my tummy going tight and tense as I flexed after being buffeted by a wave of pleasure so strong that it made me gasp around his cock and beg for air.

No air came to me.

The cab driver held me down and still dragged me onto him. He pumped himself into my mouth from below while his hands kept me from getting even a moments break of my own choosing. Oh he'd let me up for air every now and then but only for me to gasp and shudder and drool onto him before he dragged me back down and honestly everytime I wasn't filled with him was just a moment that I was wishing I was.

If I could give up breathing I would. If I could exist forever in service to sucking his cock, I would. If only I could.

Cumming first had to mean something bad, something wrong in my brain. Cumming when my stimulation had been so slight meant that I was getting off on being slutty and yeah, I was, but I didn't like to think of it like that. And I didn't like to think of myself like that, not yet. Didn't like to get accustomed to the feeling that something as objectively awful as this could be enough for me.

But as it rose up within me and he pulled me off I gasp and I beg him. I turn my eyes up to him, my mouth a wide O and my gaze unfocused, and the words are out of my mouth before I can help myself.

"God don't stop," I beg him, "Don't give me a break for air. Don't stop using my slutty little throat. Don't stop making me **** on it. Don't stop making me feel like a piece of shit. Just use me. Please, I need you too. I need you to use me and I need you to humiliate me and I need you to feed me your cock, to fill me up on it so that I breathe it and it fills me and I become a hole solely to use for your pleasure and if you keep on going I'm going to fucking cum and I want to cum and I need to cum and-"

He slaps me hard. Not with his hand but with his cock and it's hard enough that it makes me stop babbling and just turn my attention around to him, pressing my mouth around him in a **** bid to get him to have me again, to fill me again, to fuck my slutty little throat again.

The monster laughs as he drags me down and gives me my fondest wish and the things he calls me as I **** on him make what I called myself seem positively PG, but I don't give a damn.

I can't give a damn anymore. I can't care.

Because as I bottom out on him and he fills my throat I moan as I feel it rushing up, as I feel my vision go dark while my body starts to buck until I'm shuddering with him in me as the heat within me rises.

The squirming need within me tightens and tenses. It reduces down to a ball barely the size of the head of a pin but it's not about scale it's about potential and this has the potential to be nearly world ending.

And I get evidence of that the moment it explodes. Because one moment it's the size of a pin and the next it's in me everywhere at once. It doesn't even wash over me like a wave it just is, it just is roaring at the edges of me so intense that it's like it's pushing past it. It is like it is redefining me, expanding beyond my skin which is burning and my muscles which are tight in just the opposite way and my eyes go wide and my body goes taut and then, then it all falls down again.

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