Crimson Dungeon (Part 1: Megumin's House)

“Mooom! Daaad! I’m home agaaain!”

Ah, the family home of Megumin. Such a quaint little hovel on the outskirts of the Crimson Demon village. It was as dilapidated as it is loved. Even with the slightly run down look, you can tell it is well looked after.

We had arrived in the Crimson Demon village and came straight here, ignoring the hustle and bustle sounds that had been going on around the main town to instead secure our lodging for the night. Megumin felt a little annoyed that we had to inconvenience her parents so soon after she had spent a week here, but at the suggestion we instead stay at a local inn she threw all notions of parental bonds out the window. Either she loved being a host more than she let on, or Megumin had some bad blood with the innkeeper she didn’t want to let us in on. Either way, staying here again worked out easier, especially as we would need to be hiding the Demon King’s Daughter here.

As Megumin raced up the stairs to find her family, we were all standing around just outside the door awaiting our admission inside.

“Darkness, can you remind Kazuma what we’re doing here?”

“Oi! Don’t start blaming me for YOU not paying attention!”

Of course this was the first thing that was said as soon as we got to the village. I’d be annoyed if I didn’t love them both so much.

“Mom’s home, but apparently Dad and Komekko have gone off for a few days mushroom picking,” Megumin explained as she poked her head through the door again. “Come on in, she’s already brewing some tea for you all.”

“Oh, that was unnecessary. But thank you,” I smiled as we all followed her inside, leaving our shoes by the door and stepping through to the living room. “And she’s okay with us staying here overnight?”

“Of course I am, dear. It’s no trouble to host my daughter’s delightful friends.”

I really need to smack myself for making myself bisexual.

Yuiyui. A woman I had never even thought about beyond a nice woman who birthed Megumin, had bent over me to place a teapot on the table in front of me, getting dangerously close while doing so. Leaning noticeable breasts on my back, and showing off her beautiful face inches from my own, was I attracted to every damn woman now!? Did Kazuma have to deal with the bevy of attractive women surrounding him too? Her soft features looked far younger than her years. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought she was Megumin’s older sister, not her mother.

“Th-Th-Thank you…” I squeaked out, trying to not look directly at Yuiyui. I still had to seduce Megumin to our cause, not her mom… stop invading my mind, sexual thoughts, I beg of you…

“Wow! I never noticed how pretty your mom really is, Megumin!” Aqua blurted out with far less care about appearances. “Did you do something different with your hair?”

Yuiyui seemed to appreciate the compliment, placing a hand to her cheek. “My, my! What a charmer your friend is, Megumin! Yes, I have a new hairpin. Thank you for noticing, dear.”

“...What the FUCK is happening?!” The explosion mage barked. “Aqua! Stop flirting with my mom!”

“Would you prefer I flirt with you instead~?”

Damn. Lesbian and confident Aqua was a dangerous blend. She said it so directly I think she was just genuinely asking.

“Y-You were going to explain what we were doing here, Darkness?”

I understand the rapid topic shift, so with a nod I returned to the topic we started outside.

“Okay, so we’re here for a few reasons.” I explained, putting on my best leadership voice, “First, we’re here to watch over Musume. She’ll be arriving at sundown through the same warp point we took, so we have to make sure that the chief and the villagers know not to attack her on sight.”

Yuiyui tilted her head, “Musume?”

“The, uh…” My voice went quiet, “The Demon King’s Daughter, ma’am.”

“W-what? She’s coming here?!”

“Don’t worry, Mom, I already defeated her once!” Megumin proudly boasted, “We struck a deal with her. She’ll be good as long as the King gets to lay his trap for her dad and she can find out if he’s dead or not.”

Yuiyui’s panic was starting to rise however. “Y-you were barely gone a day! What happened in such a short amount of time!?”

“Blame them! They were doing a bunch of shit without me! They became Harem Knights and started a war with the Demon King!”

The fear in Yuiyui disappeared almost instantly. I also, bizarrely, thought I heard the sound of gold coins hitting against each other running through her head loudly.

“Megumin, dear….Please repeat that part?”

The anger the wizard had felt went to fear at her mom’s sudden smile, “Uh…I-I said they started a war with-”

“No, the other part.”

“...they’re Harem Knights now?”

“As in the Harem Knights that can get a lifetime wage from the royals just for getting pregnant with their child?”

Aqua, ever the “helpful” soul around, added, “Actually, we’re the only Harem Knights now! Kazuma’s penis is blessed to have sex by the King himself!” She was proud, but I really thought this was not the time.

“Aqua…”

Standing up abruptly, Yuiyui bowed and left the room very quickly, “Excuse me, would you?” She asked before disappearing without a trace. Leaving all of us to sit there in wonder at what she was doing.

“Anyone else suddenly worried?” my nervous boyfriend asked.

Being the one who was definitely nonplussed about most things, Aqua slurped her hot water and asked, “Hey, why is Musume not staying in prison?”

Kazuma rolled his eyes at her, “Because we’re trying to fake her ****. Would it kill you to pay a little bit of attention for once? Cum-for-brains Goddess…”

“Hmhm! The Crimson Demons are so magically overpowered that we can hide even the third strongest creature in the kingdom amongst us!” Megumin haughtily added. I tried to figure out who the other two were before it was her turn to roll her eyes at me, “Obviously she’s after me then the Demon King.”

“R-right…” I smiled awkwardly, “Um, the second thing we need to do is to help Yunyun become next in line for village chief. She’s our friend and it's her dream to take over that responsibility one day for her dad, but right now there’s a lot of candidates for the position.”

Kazuma tilted his head at me, “Yeah, why is that again? I thought Yunyun was basically running unopposed.”

“Everyone got it in their heads that if they’re chief, they can make the town do all kinds of weird, perverted sex things,” Megumin explained with a huff. “For once, I’m in total agreement that we should let the dull lifeless brick known as Yunyun keep her role. I would obviously make for a better chief, but I don’t wanna be tied down to something as boring as a political life. My title is already ‘Slayer of the Demon King’s Daughter’ after all~!”

I couldn’t exactly reveal to everyone that I was technically the reason for the sudden upswing in sexual proclivity around town. It was just an attempt to make Yunyun more accepted and less lonely for Vanir. But, as usual, the repercussions were deeper than I could foresee.

Megumin’s refusal for the perverse was also a concern. Despite the earrings altering her perception to accept that such things were “normal”, it’s clear that her base personality still didn’t care for it. Was I even going to be able to seduce her at all?

“Oi, Darkness.”

Her angry red eyes locked with my scared blue ones and made me jump, “Y-yes?!”

“This tea needs milk.”

“...o-okay? Do you want me to go get some?”

“What? No! You know what I want! I haven’t been able to have some for a whole week!” Megumin growled in a way that truly confused me. “Your milk! Your milk! Give it up already!” Her hand jabbed accusingly towards my boobs.

“Ohh! Good idea! This tea could definitely use some Darkness juice!” Aqua agreed.

“I could never say no to some fresh titty milk myself,” Kazuma added casually but happily.

R-Right. I guess some things do change. It had been a while since we had a good lactation session, I had almost forgotten that we’d “agreed” to milk me everyday for our meals.

With everyone looking at me expectantly, I couldn’t resist unbuckling my armour and letting my chest bounce free. I peeled up the thin black fabric that covered them to release the milk tanks to my three best friends. Somehow this felt far more embarrassing and intimate than it had in the past, perhaps because Megumin was looking at me hungrily now too.

The two cow print stickers that magically held back my milk were ripped off quickly by me, I couldn’t resist the extra layer of pleasure from the pain of the sticker, and instantly my thick milk sacks began dripping white liquid onto the table.

“Finally!” Megumin yelled excitedly, thrusting her mug underneath me. I gave my right breast a squeeze and a sizable amount of liquid shot into the cup, to which my young friend rapidly took back to her mouth and chugged. It was the first I’d ever heard Megumin moan without the context of an explosion, and the wetness in my crotch was growing by the second.

“Mmm~ Fuck, I forgot how good Darkness milk tasted…”

“I like it more from the tap!” grinned Aqua on her approach, ripping off the other sticker and latching her mouth onto it to suck as hard as she could. I couldn’t stop myself from having just a tiny orgasm from my girlfriend’s sudden intimacy.

“Ah! A-Aqua~!”

“Don’t hog it! You’ve had it all week, I want more milk!”

“Oi! I haven’t had my fill yet!”

To think this was the party that had defeated the Demon King’s Daughter.

After our little milk parade, we left Megumin’s house to join the upcoming “town hall meeting”. She explained it was the place where everyone was gathering to reveal and discuss the upcoming trial to decide the chief.

Admittedly, I was happy to be out of there quickly, as Yuiyui had come down from upstairs to see us off in just a negligee.

“See you back here soon, Harem Knights~!” She called out to us, black corset clearly visible under the frighteningly thin red silk she wore, “I’ll be waiting!”

Aqua happily waved back, but Kazuma and I both averted our eyes. Especially with the demonic aura emanating from Megumin towards the both of us. “Think about it and I will kill the both of you...”

“Y-yes!” We squeaked.

So with that mental image, we headed down to the village proper.

I always appreciated the look of the Crimson Demon village. It was rustic and calm, a complete departure from their ridiculous natures. But it was also a window into a homely place where the Demon King’s forces had no influence. No battle scars in the brickwork, no reconstructed third house (that wasn’t from their own doing), just well loved homes from a people strong enough to protect them. It was nice. Even Sylvia’s attack with the Mage Killer had barely dented the aura of calm that surrounded this town.

Of course, their people were different this time around.

The other three didn’t notice it, nor did they comment, but I noticed. Crimson Demons were much more forward with each other now. More open clothing for a start; I saw far more cleavage and topless men than last time. But their attitudes seemed more free too, if only from all the kissing I spotted from the inhabitants as we walked by. Mostly greeting kisses but some seemed to linger on a little too long. I had done a number on this place for sure.

Though as we got into the village proper, it wasn’t just me that had changed this village. The Crimson Demons were also preparing for an evening festival! Stands were being erected, bunting was being strung between houses, and a sense of jovial fun had overtaken them.

As we arrived at the town hall with the giant spire of the bell tower looming over us, I had to say it didn’t seem much different than the rest of the town, if only slightly neglected. Megumin said that most Crimson Demons were “too cool and independent” to attend the majority of town hall meetings, even the chief. Only Yunyun and the occasional drunk seemed to enter the door before today. Which meant the fact almost the whole village was in here was quite the spectacle.

No other words for it, the place was bustling. The seating looked similar to a church’s, pews all lined up in rows facing the front where the chief tried to regain order. But between all the mages yelling at each other or at him there was barely enough sound room to think.

“Order! Would you morons listen to me for once?!!”

“Shut up! You don’t deserve to be chief!”

“Oh, like you do?!”

“If you’re chief then you’d make it legal for you to love your brother!”

“Stop saying that!”

“I’ll kill you!”

Megumin nodded with a weirdly proud smile, “Well, this is going better than I thought it would. I think this might be the best town meeting we’ve ever had.”

“I’d hate to see you guys at your worst,” said Kazuma.

“Megumin! Everyone!” Yelled a voice, quickly rushing over to us ignoring the screaming and chair throwing while her sizable chest bounced in their loose confines. “You guys made it!”

“Of course we did, Yunyun,” I smiled, “We want to be here to support you… whatever this all is.”

“Isn’t this meeting great?!” She beamed, to which Megumin happily nodded. I looked over at Kazuma who gave me the same incredulous look. “You haven’t missed much, but my Dad did announce he’ll be competing to stay as chief as well.”

“Wow, what a scumbag.” Kazuma casually dropped, not realising that Yunyun looked rather hurt, “Er, I mean, h-he’s probably not that bad…?”

“No, it’s alright. I was annoyed by it too, but he has the right to compete in the dungeon as well.”

“Dungeon?”

“Oh! The elders revealed what the final trial is! Pterarn there has the rules list.” She said while pointing to a rather hunched and ghostly looking individual. His gaunt face and shaky legs probably shouldn’t have been walking around, let alone being the one hand out papers to everyone. One more layer of weirdness to the whole event.

He finally got back to us in the back row, and I took one of his papers to look over it.

“A dungeon crawl?”

I handed the paper over to Kazuma after I had finished reading it, with the ghostly man who had just given it to me still being rather uninterested about the whole thing.

“Mhm. That’s how they’re…” He paused to sigh. “...doing the chief decision thing… or whatever…”

As Kazuma handed the paper next in line to Aqua, he lowered an eyebrow. “You sure don’t sound very excited about it.”

“What are you…? …talking about…? I’ve never been…”

We waited more than a reasonable amount of time for him to be done with his sigh.

“...more excited…”

“Well, I for one have to say it’s TOTAL BULLSHIT!” growled Megumin after getting to read the paper, “Dungeons are the one thing I can’t do! This is clearly the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!”

“You had plenty of chances to help Yunyun become chief but you blew all those up too,” Kazuma pointed out much to Megumin’s chagrin, “So whoever wins the dungeon is then chief?”

“It’s the last man standing getting as far into the dungeon as they can.” Yunyun re-explained. “There isn’t much space in the dungeon though, so the guys will get a chance in the morning tomorrow then the girls in the evening.”

I quickly picked the paper up again from where Megumin had thrown it, scanning it for any more details. Anyone was welcome to attend from the village, they would all be starting from the first floor and working downwards. “What happens if there’s more than one winner?”

“Then both the man and the woman become joint chiefs. But it’s unlikely there will be two winners since the dungeon is procedurally generated.”

Kazuma looked absolutely astonished by those words, but I wasn’t really sure why, “What does that mean?”

“And HOW?!”

“We only just learned what it meant too. Basically, each floor will be crafted just before the person enters it. Always randomized based on the instructions we give it.”

Wow, this sounded like some serious magical tech. Like something straight out of the Noise Kingdom prior to its fall to the Mobile Fortress Destroyer.

“It was said a great scientist crafted it far before our time, but it was only activated recently by unknown means. It used to hold the Magic Killer weapon Sylvia used, so she must have entered the code to activate it.”

Kazuma looked away for some reason.

“The village nerd, Hatsunatsu, found it and managed to make it work for us to be a training area. But a lot of us haven’t bothered with it until now.” Megumin continued, “Makes sense the elders would delegate this to the dungeon. We Crimson Demons have a tendency to go all out and break what we want, so why not use a useless training dungeon.”

“Crimson Demons or just you?”

“Shut it, Kazuma.”

Well, that all made sense. So we had to make sure Yunyun got the furthest in the dungeon tomorrow and she would be chief…

Though, this all seemed superfluous. Now that the whole town was here, there was something I could do that no one else could.

I stood up more dramatically than I wanted to and began marching towards the front of the stage, even as my friends asked what I was doing. The town was still arguing, but a few stopped their yelling at the sight of me. Including Yunyun’s dad, who quickly grew a salacious grin.

“Oh, what’s this? Does this beautiful girl wish to greet her chief properly? I won’t say no to a kiss from a blonde hottie~”

“No thank you,” My rejection was quick, for my lips were Kazuma’s only. And Aqua’s. And Luna’s, Sena’s, Xara’s, Sylvia’s, and if the Axel Hearts ever asked - nevermind, I’m a slut. But I still wasn’t going to kiss Yunyun’s dad. “I would like everyone’s attention, please!”

Nothing. Obviously, I knew this would happen, but it was worth a shot.

I had brought one of Chris’s magic items with me. Specifically the pen of ownership, which I hadn’t used much but thought could help here. Writing on my arm, “Crimson Demon’s Attention”, I wasn’t expecting it to work so well. All of them locked eyes with me and dropped the audio in the room to near silence. I really did have their attention, and it was honestly kind of creepy.

“Th-Thank you for listening,” I said, quickly rubbing off the word “attention” to stop the direct staring. “I have some important information for you all that comes straight from King Jeronim himself. Tonight, the Demon King’s Daughter will visit this village-”

“What?!”

“We have to be ready!”

“Didn’t the papers declare her dead?!”

“Do we know what direction she’s attacking fro-?!”

Silence again as I wrote “attention” again. Look, this was important, okay!? I’m sorry this makes me look bad to control a whole village like this! “I apologise, but you must not attack her. This is a diplomatic mission of peace. If all goes well, this could mean the end of the war. I hope you all realise how important this means.” I rubbed off the writing again, and thankfully the peace remained.

“I see…so you expect us to open our borders to the enemy willingly? Why does King Jeronim not take care of the she-beast himself?” Yunyun’s dad was showing more leadership than I’d ever seen from him before.

“Because he is setting a trap for the Demon King. You may have read in today’s paper that Musume was declared dead and her body is to be buried in the wastelands. That is where the King hopes to ambush an enraged Demon King, but in order to do that he needs to hide Musume’s inherent magic signature. In order to do that, we thought this village had enough strength to not only hide her, but also take care of the daughter in case she does betray us.”

That seemed to make them happy. Each boasting about their own strengths to themselves at the praise the King indirectly gave them.

The chief stroked his moustache, “Hmm, very well. And what kind of prize does one get if the daughter DOES happen to… attack?”

“I already defeated her!” Megumin yelled, “You’ll all get sloppy seconds if you try to defeat her! My title is already, ‘Megumin: Destroyer of Demon King Royalty’!” The whole room whined loudly, seemingly wanting to be the one with such a grand moniker.

Still, that brought me to my next point.

“As it is so important… I think it may be best to stop this contest. Wouldn’t it be more normal to just forget the whole dungeon thing and instead arrange a big town vote right here for who you think should be chief?”

There. No fun dungeon game, but I’ll rig the election so Yunyun will win, then we enjoy the festival and show Musume the wonders of humanity in peace with no complications.

“Hmhmhm...”

Uh-oh. I didn’t like the sound of that.

The lights went off in the hall somehow. With only a single spotlight remaining on… the town baker?

“While it IS true that it is totally normal to vote for our leader…I’m afraid I cannot partake in such an event.”

“...eh?”

“For you see… I am totally abnormal!” The baker exclaimed, rudely pointing his finger in my face, “As the Crimson Demon’s topmost baker, I am the hero of this tale! And I must FIGHT for my right to be chief!

I blinked at him, unable to form a response to such nonsense before another spotlight came down.

“Fool! You think yourself the hero?! When the tale is clearly mine to tell!” A dark-haired woman loudly yelled. “I, Abseroth, am the abnormal one! I shall be standing above you all before tomorrow is done!”

“W-Wait a minute!”

Spotlight three and four, “No! I, Furtigard, am the one who shall be chief!”

“It is I, the true protagonist! ”

“Bask in the glory of Jolyne!”

More yelling, more spotlights, more grand Crimson Demon declarations. The only one who didn’t was Yunyun herself, who had wandered over to me with a pen and paper and was asking, “Darkness? Would it be bad to vote for myself?”

Oh no.

Oh Eris, no.

They all think they’re abnormal.

And somehow, ironically, that makes them all semi-immune to the earrings’ suggestions. That must also explain why Megumin still wasn’t a fan of lewd stuff!

They were all going to follow their own whims, and fight each other in the dungeon no matter what. If anything goes wrong, I have no contingency plan to stop them. Only Yunyun was normal enough to follow my normalities…

Why the hell did I think bringing the Demon King’s Daughter here was a good idea!?