How can you reject Merlina after that?

This is clearly the best plan. There's no risk of failure, no bringing in more people to your secret...And of course, if you think back you've considered Merlina once or twice in that way. Seeming to read your mind, Merlina meets your eyes as she waits for your decision, a knowing, almost smug smile on her face. You notice the expression, and ask her why she seems so happy and confident, and she simply responds that of course your Court Wizard can tell when what you're planning. You press her, asking how she can be so certain that you'll choose her. Her reply is simple. She reaches forward once again for your hand which you automatically offer to her before you realize what she's doing. She steps closer and puts her other hand to your cheek, and her face draws closer to you. All too late you realize what she's going to do. Even though you haven't actually confirmed it, she's closed the distance and her lips are a sway away from your own. This close to you, she speaks. "I know you, My Queen...We've been so close for so long, I can tell when you've made a decision...And I can tell when you're hesitating. I don't think the first two options would cause you to pause for so long, so that you even ask me while I'm smiling..." She waits for a moment, then another. You feel her warmth against you as time drags on. You want to say something, but it's as if you're spellbound. You can't make her kiss you, anymore than you can make her back off. You wait for her to give you what you want...As if recognizing the conclusion you've drawn and rewarding you, she kisses you in your bedroom.

Her hand trails down your cheek, along your draw, and gently cups the back of your neck. She pulls you into her, and you feel your bodies meet, interrupted by so many layers of cloth. She hugs you tightly, and gently strokes your back...You feel anxious...You don't think you've ever been so intimate to another human being. You feel safe, she's so warm and steady. You trust her, in this moment when you need someone to trust, and she rewards it by deepening the kiss. Her tongue dances over yours, tickling you and drawing your breath to quicken along with your heart. When she breaks the kiss, your temperature has risen and your cheeks color. She smiles at you more, and you smile back at her. Her hands continue to roam your body as you find yourself on your bed suddenly. Uninterested in how she's positioned you, you run your hands along her body. You find a way under her robes, and the moment your fingertips find flesh, she gasps, then sighs directly into your ear. The rush of wind drives you to explore her more. Her body isn't the Olarian ideal, but in this moment you don't care. Your hands grope and squeeze against every soft and firm bit of flesh you can, trying to note in your mind how Merlina reacts, and you can feel her doing the same. You try to be clear about what you enjoy, but somehow everything she does is exactly what you need in that moment. You're not sure how, but she seems to know all the best spots on your body...It almost feels like she's cheating....