Of Frank and Frankly More Important Matters

’I wonder what insanity Gaia will throw at me this time…’ John thought as he lay recently awoken but before opening his eyes. He meant it in relation to the morning Quests he had been getting, specifically the biblical flood of impregnation ones yesterday, many of which remained minimized still. In the end, however, there was only one way to find out.

[New Quest: Anger Mismanagement
Frank is back in school starting today, but doctor’s orders have him off the football team for three weeks. He blames you for that and is looking to make you pay. Make him give up on that.
Reward: 500 EXP, $5673 (the combined amount of lunch money he has bullied out of you), an Epic item, a Rare recipe.]

… Well the cash amount felt insane at first. But thinking about it a little, it made decent enough sense. $8 here, $10 there added up when it was multiple times a week since the start of middle school.

The Quest itself was reasonable enough, if worrying. That was not a confrontation John felt ready for yet, but he also didn’t see how anything short of demonstrating the ability to hurt Frank and threatening to do worse would actually accomplish it.

Diplomacy was right out. Even if the jock had possessed enough conscience that an appeal to morality might work, the moral argument or necessary explanations of abstract concepts would almost definitely exceed what could fit inside Frank’s skull.

Needing to make any line of argument digestible to the meathead also killed off any other diplomatic approaches John could think of such as trying to strike a deal, arguing that it would be a bad idea to come after him, or trying to make Frank see charging head first into a wall as his own fault. And all of those also required calming him down enough to talk first which was probably an incredibly tall order in itself.

As for the violent approach, he could see two basic strategies. He could try to catch Frank alone, give him a demonstration of alchemist’s fire in a way that was intimidating without causing serious damage, and convince the jerk that he could either back off or trigger a school shooter-esque affair with himself as the primary target.

The main problem with that approach was catching Frank alone. Vanessa had thoroughly taught him to make public humiliation a part of any punishment, instead of just the beating alone. So he was definitely gonna keep a posse of onlookers on hand.

If John could isolate the football captain, he felt fairly confident in the rest. Burning was a primal fear simple enough to get through Frank’s thick skull, and one that was potent enough that warning shots should do the trick. With setting Frank’s clothes on fire as a backup plan.

As for convincing the jock of the imminent school shooter-y action, Vanessa and Frank had already caused him to fit 90% of the stereotype. If playing with a lighter and loudly listening to Pumped Up Kicks or Marilyn Manson a few times a week were the price to get the asshole off his back and clear the Quest, that was a very small price to play.

The other option was to hope that his growth since Tuesday was enough to beat his tormentor in a fight. Which was probably not likely unless he used the Hyde Serum as well. The advantage of that approach was that he would only be using magic that wasn’t readily visible, so he could do it in front of a crowd of any size. In fact it’d probably be more effective the more spectators. If he won.

In theory, there was a third option in the hedgeslug slime. But hoping that mundane medical services could do enough about it for Frank to survive was too big a gamble. John did not want to kill anyone, not even Frank. And on a more selfish note, if he did kill the bully, that seemed like a guaranteed way to get into trouble with the Golden Rose guys.

Whether he went with fire or fists would ultimately depend on how the situation looked when the time came. Having made some plans, even such rudimentary ones, made him feel better about that problem. Enough so to head down for breakfast, though first he checked his phone in case there was an update from Qhila or unexpected news from Marisa.

[Qhila]: The elixir and incense are done, but I am too tired to make good use of them now. I should have answers for you by afternoon, for now I sleep.

That made sen- wait a minute, didn’t the Elixir of Clarity counter sleep deprivation? Checking the tooltip of the ones he had confirmed that, yes, it did. But thinking back to the number of things he thought of embarrassingly late on Tuesday, it was entirely possible that she had been tired enough to forget that. What she needed the elixir for was something else after all.

Well, that was a matter for after school. Along with likely getting pulled in for a meeting with the Order according to Marisa. Hopefully between the two, he still wouldn’t be showing up late at Christie’s place…

When he got downstairs, his mom was on the phone. That wasn’t part of the usual routine, but it also wasn’t so uncommon as to draw any particular attention from him. As a result, John was just about done with his breakfast by the time he realized that his mom sounded unusually worried and that she’d asked twice if whoever she was talking to was sure they were okay as part of saying goodbye.

“Everything all right?” He washed down the last mouthful while waiting for a reply.

“I don’t know…” Now that he was actually looking, Brenda was showing very obvious signs of worry, including a concerned frown and nervous fidgeting. “Mom says they’re fine, but they had a break in during the night. Apparently, Dad scared the burglar off before he took anything.”

Fuck. Hopefully that was just a random mundane criminal, but unease gnawed at John’s guts all the same. The mere possibility that it was Abyss related… Sam probably knew more than John could imagine about protecting oneself against dangerous mundanes, but when it came to monsters and magic, the old man would be as out of his depth as John had been on Monday. And without magic powers or the occasional helpful nudge from a goddess…

“I’m going by their house on the way to school.” He was out of the door before his mom had a chance to answer. He had to do something. He wasn’t sure exactly what, but he could try to work that out on the way.

He really wished he could’ve asked Marisa for advice on this, or had thought to yesterday. For now, he sent a text to Qhila, but given her trap setup he suspected that her go-to solution wouldn’t really be compatible with a mundane home. Or mundane laws.

So he had to figure this out himself, at least for now. But what to do? Telling them about the Abyss would… well, it would actually probably go a decently long way. Grandpa didn’t like talking about Vietnam, but John still knew that the old man had made it through figurative Hell and learned some things about staying alive and protecting himself in the process. And Grandma knew a ton about folklore that might turn out more useful than she’d have expected.

The problem was that if this was just a mundane burglar, he would be pulling his family into the Abyss and stripping them of the Veil for nothing. Meanwhile, he didn’t really have options for things he could do discreetly, at least not on his own. But they had to exist somewhere, because John was definitely not the first person to have mundane loved ones.

But where to find those measures? Looking the problem up on the web would be a start, but with how much he didn’t know and how little familiarity he had with the Abyss Web he would likely only find things with known vulnerabilities.

What he needed was help from someone who knew more about protecting mundanes without them knowing. And while his best option for that was out of reach right now, that was still the Order of the Golden Rose’s sacred mission. And according to Marisa, he should expect to be summoned by them for a meeting today at the latest. And if that turned out wrong, he could go to Moira. Or to their headquarters, since the Librarians’ website had the address.

The main question about going to the Order for help was how much he was going to get. With a war ongoing, the amount of resources they could devote to a few specific mundanes were probably limited. And would probably depend on how immediate and credible the threat seemed. But at the very least, they would hopefully be good for some advice even if the only thing he did was ask about security measures in general.

So the plan for the visit now was to find out what he could about what happened. Then he would use that when talking to the Order and Qhila, and figure out what to do from there. Good thing he’d got that planned too, since he was just arriving.

John found his Grandpa in the woodwork shed. That much was usual, but instead of working on some project or other, the old man was cleaning up a very uncharacteristic mess. A bit of sawdust or discarded bits of wood wasn’t out of the ordinary now and then. Right now the workshop had tools, fresh planks, trash can contents, and tubs of paint, glue and polish strewn about in a completely haphazard manner. Despite Sam visibly having been at it for a bit, the place still looked like it had been the victim of an indoor hurricane. Or an unsupervised kindergarten class.

Despite the state of his workshop and the night’s events, Grandpa Sam greeted John with his usual cheer, “Good morning, John. Fancy a bit of brooming before you go to school?”

“Uh, sure.” John took the broom and started sweeping the trash and sawdust into a pile, while Sam resumed picking up the non-trash strewn about and putting it away. “Mom said you were burgled last night. Are you okay??”

“We’re fine, I chased the ne'er do well off before he could do anything besides make a mess. Not sure what he wanted with the shed, though, seeing as he left a bunch of expensive tools behind and nothing seems to be missing. Must’ve not been very bright.”

‘Or maybe they operate on a different scale of ‘expensive’ and came for something else…’ Instead of saying that out loud, John decided to try for more details. “What happened?”

Usually, Sam would shift into ‘storyteller’ mode when recounting something he had experienced. Not this time though, but his demeanor remained cheery all the same. “Well, I woke up and the house sounded wrong, so I went downstairs to see what was up. Found a guy in a green mask in the hallway, so I shot him and he ran away. Then I called the police.”

A window popped up in John’s vision, but he let it fade for now so he could focus on the conversation. “A green mask?”

“I only got a glimpse, in a dark hallway, so it could’ve been face paint I suppose. In any case, he was wearing a ballistic vest or something, because two bullets didn’t make him bleed. He just spilt his Jell-o and bolted.”

“Jell-o??”

Sam nodded “I don’t know what kind of fool brings a snack to a burglary, but he left a bunch of green goop where he fell when I shot him. The officers collected some and Liz cleaned the rest up before it could seep into the floor.”

“That’s…” ‘Fishy as fuck!’ Instead of finishing the sentence, John decided to probe a little more. “Did he do more weird stuff?”

Sam paused the cleaning to think about that for a bit, and to take a sip from a thermos that smelled like coffee. “Well, when he ran he did so halfway on all fours. Which isn’t weird if he panicked, but he was surprisingly fast like that. Like he was used to pretending to be that split personality fellow from those Lord of the Ring movies you showed us.”

… Okay, there was enough weird shit going on here that Abyssal involvement seemed exceedingly likely. The only thing that held John off from just explaining, and demonstrating, the Abyss to Sam right then and there was that he wasn’t certain if that would make the old man no longer count as mundane, as far as the GRO was concerned.

Losing ‘mundane’ status wasn’t necessarily a dealbreaker, but it would be nice to know the ramifications first. Given that he already planned to have spoken to the ‘Goldies’ about this whole mess by the end of the day, it was probably safe to wait that long before telling him.

But maybe a little useful tidbit, without explanation, was in order. “That’s a lot of weird stuff… Just, stay safe and stick together, I guess…”

“Lad, if you think I’m going to bring Liz with me into possible danger, you’ve got something very backwards.” There wasn’t a trace of anger in the old man’s voice, but just him sounding fully serious and mirthless still reminded John of the one time in his life that he had seen his Grandpa angry.

Despite it having been on John’s behalf rather than at him, it was not something the Gamer wanted to see again. Even though the old soldier had neither raised his voice nor used any insults or other ‘bad words’, John would honestly rather get another reprimand from Wentworth than his first one from Sam.

“Tha- That’s not- I meant that, uh…” he wasn’t really sure how to salvage that.

“That you want both of us to be safe.” The positivity and warmth was back in his Grandpa’s voice. “I get it. But when your mom, aunts and uncle had all flown the nest, protecting Liz went back to being my most important job. I think you get that though…”

John nodded reflexively. While there wasn’t a significant other in the mix, he had spent a lot of time the last few days thinking about how to keep Qhila and his mom safe from the Abyss, and Christie safe from Frank and Vanessa. And how to help with Marisa’s safety if she got deployed again after coming back from the current one had been simmering in the back of his head since last night too…

“It might help your nerves to know that I’m getting deadbolts and new locks once I’m done here. For you and Brenda too, if she wants it. But right now, I think you’d probably better get to school.”

“Right. Have a nice day then.” John put the broom to a lean against the wall while Sam mirrored the sentiment, then left. Instead of going to the bus stop out front, however, he headed for the Barrier Alley. It should get him there a bit sooner still, maybe enough to find Moira before first class.

It also kept him from having to deal with Frank on the bus, though dealing with the brute and associated Quest at all seemed a lot less important now than when he came down for breakfast. Enroute, he checked the window that had shown up while he talked to his Grandpa.

[New Quest: Intruder Alert
Get to the bottom of who or what paid the Miller residence a nightly visit.
Failure Conditions: Sam or Liz are hurt by the culprit, or you introduce one of them to the Abyss and the intruder turns out to be mundane.

Rewards: 500 EXP, an Epic rarity Abyssal home safety system, an Uncommon recipe.]