Tell him about your new part

"I uh well the thing is..." You take a deep breath and plunge right in, "I'm like you, I guess. I grew a penis, like an hour ago, and I'm freaking the fuck out."

"Aw honey," Dad's arms wrap you in one of his trademark bear hugs, the way your face buried in the soft valley of his cleavage only slightly spoiling the effect "I'd say ask your mother, but this really is something I'm more qualified to deal with isn't it?"

He lets you up for air and takes a seat at the kitchen table.

"Why don't you tell me all about it?"

So you sit and relate your strange story, taking care to redact any mention of magic ray guns or kinky public sex.

"Oh sweetheart, it sounds like you've had quite a day!" your dad says, giving you another bosomy hug. " I expect you've got a bunch of questions after all that. You know you can ask me anything, right?"