You’re gonna drink my magic potion and your bloodshot eyes is gonna shine

There are definitely worse ways to learn that magic is real. I’ll put cumming so hard you pass out up against having a half giant with an umbrella showing up to tell you you’re a hairy wizard any day of the week. But really that’s not part of the story.

By the time I woke up Anwyn had the place fucking spotless, was dressed impeccably, and all our gear was packed and waiting. Someone had draped a blanket over me at some point, and it took me a minute to find my pants (I never did find my boxers). My “partner” was chatting with Dot in the kitchen when I staggered in looking for caffeine. “… so that’s when I bought the horse a stripper.”

Dot laughed so hard she burst into tears at what must have been an amazingly funny story. Don’t ya just hate coming into a conversation at the end?

I coughed politely to announce my presence, and both ladies smiled up at me. Dot immediately hurried off to make me a cup of joe, and as she did Anwyn grinned and said, “you did good. We’ll discuss more at the office.”

“Ok, so you’re telling me that not only ghosts are real but so is magic?”

The drive back to the office had been a series of me peppering her with questions and her saying multiple variations on ‘shut up and be patient’. It also involved stopping at Caribou for a very big red eye for me and a matcha for her. We were finally seated in the crappy little cubicle space that was basically all of the double-wide that served as an office for us.

“Are you going to ask me any questions that aren’t rhetorical?” She smirked at me. I felt like I had the mother of all hangovers and there she was, her makeup perfect, somehow wearing a completely different set of clothes, and looking flawless as ever with a mischievous glint in her eye.

I self consciously tried to smooth down yesterday’s shirt, my tie folded up and in my back pocket. “It’s just… it’s a lot to process, ya know?”

“Yeah, about that. I’m really sorry you had to find out like that. I figured you were fully initiated when I interviewed you.”

“You said something about that yesterday.” I took a long pull on my coffee and wished, not for the first time, that I still smoked. “Care to elaborate?”

“The ad had a minor glamour on it to make it invisible to normies. That means either I fucked up in casting it or there’s more to you than meets the eye.” Her gaze traveled over me like I was a piece of meat that she was rather skeptical about. “I can say that you are definitely something special after last night, but I couldn’t be sure if it’s just that you’re a fucking fantastic lay or that you’ve got a touch of something. There’s a way to find out though.”

“Um… so why don’t we find out?”

“Well, I’m not going to engage in another ritual with you until you decide if you wanna keep going with this.” She chuckled wryly. “To quote what’s either to best or worst movie ever ‘You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.’ Always wanted to say that.”

I’d wanted something different. This was way different. Completely different. There was never really a question. “We’re all mad here. I’m in. What do we need to do?”

“Ok. Good. I was hoping you’d say that. So we want to find out what’s different about you.” The grin that split her face was easily one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen, but what she said next made me pass coffee through my nose. “I’m gonna need to suck your dick.”

(Title: “Alligator Wine” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins)