Go down to the old pub instead

The screech of tires on asphalt ripped through the room as two go-karts raced across the track. They took the final turn and bombed down towards the finish line, skidding to a stop at the end.

“Wooo! Now this is what I call a party!” Rose cheered, getting off her go-kart and tossing her helmet aside. Even with her blonde hair covered in sweat she still looked gorgeous.

“It was a close race,” Kim said, getting out of her kart and walking over to the actress. Kim had managed to scrape out a win in the last few seconds, but it had been incredibly close; her heart had been pounding in her chest from the excitement. “I haven’t seen a race like that in a while!”

“Another job of yours?” Dawn asked as she took the helmet from the taller woman, rolling her eyes. “Let me guess, you did some Tokyo Drifting, but on the weekends?”

“Wow, nice taste,” Rose whistled.

“Come on, did you say that just because I’m asian?” Kim scowled.

“What, are you gonna tell me you were a NASCAR racer next?” Dawn snorted.

“No!” Kim exclaimed, her face flushing. “…I just had a gig as a flag girl. Just for a few races in the summer, that’s all!”

“Right, right…” Dawn was starting to run out of emotional investment in Kim’s countless jobs.

“I’m racing next, right?!” Holly squealed with glee, rushing over and grabbing Rose’s helmet off the ground.

Rose snickered under her breath.

“What’s so funny?” Kim asked, raising her eyebrow.

“…It’s the little cup,” Rose cackled, holding her sides.

Kim sighed and rolled her eyes, while Morgana snickered.

“Hey, where’s Mary?” As the two go-karts roared off on their race, Kim realized that the actual woman of the hour wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Oh, she’s probably in that room,” Sylvia said, suppressing a smile. “You know the one.”

“Ah, yeah, she did seem interested in that,” Kim nodded. “I’ll go check up on her, see if she wants to come hang with the rest of us.”

Kim left the go-kart track and headed back into the hallway. She still couldn’t believe that something like that was inside of the villa; the span of the track was way larger than the actual building! It’s probably because of Sylvia’s powers again, or maybe the power of this place, she thought. Things are just being compressed and shifted so that they’re differently-sized.

That was the best explanation she could come up with, anyway.

She headed to the room where Mary most likely had slipped off to, and walked inside.

The room was a massive ball pit. Like the kind you’d see at a kid’s playpen, except scaled up to be for adults. Kim never would have expected something like this to be located in a villa meant for adults to have fun in, but then, the go-kart track was a bit of a surprise too.

“Mary, you in here?” She called, scanning the rainbow-colored balls for a sign of orange hair.

“Kim!” Mary poked her head up above the surface with a giddy smile on her face. “Hey there! You want to come play?”

“Sure, maybe later,” Kim replied. “I’m just a little surprised! Mary, are you sure you want to hang out over here? The rest of us are racing go-karts.”

Mary smiled sheepishly. “I, uh… I guess I could… is it anything like driving a tractor?” She asked, swimming over to the edge of the ball pit.

Kim wasn’t sure what to say to that. “It’s fun, at least,” she said, holding out her hand and helping Mary up. “Not that this isn’t fun either. Why’d you come over and hang out alone?”

“I don’t know,” Mary said, shrugging. “I guess I just felt a bit of whimsy…”

She bit her lip, staring longingly at the ball pit. Her hand unconsciously drifted down to her stomach. “See… I was thinking… I’m going to have kids really soon. And kids, they love playing in ball pits and stuff, right? So I was trying to pretend… well, you know.”

Mary blushed, finding it a little embarrassing to admit that she’d been playing in the ball pit with her imaginary children. Luckily, Kim was perceptive enough to understand what she was saying, and didn’t push any further.

“As long as you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, that’s fine by me,” the schoolgirl replied with a smile, patting her friend on the shoulder. “Now, do you wanna go for a race? Since you’re going to be the bride, I’ll even let you win!”

Mary slapped her in the arm and scowled. “I can win all on my own, thank you very much!”

“Right, like you’ve driven a go-kart before,” Kim sniggered, earning her another glare from the redhead.

Mary puffed up her cheeks. “I’ll show you!”

---

While Mary’s bachelorette party was kicking off and the girls were enjoying their time in the villa, Nick was having a slightly more traditional bachelor party.

Of course, it began in a bar.

“I’m surprised, Dani,” Nick said, looking around the bar as the party entered. “I thought you of all people would be against ****, since it’s not exactly the healthiest thing in the world.”

“Oh, please,” Dani snorted, shaking her head. “I’m not like your bride. Even I have a drink or two when the occasion calls for it, and this one definitely calls for it.”

She gave him a hearty slap on the shoulder and laughed. “After all, it’s not every day your best bud gets married you know!”

“Well, at the rate he’s landing girls, maybe it will be,” Carly giggled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at him.

Nick rolled his eyes. “Very funny.”

“Careful, Nick,” Gina teased, elbowing him in the side. “I think Dani wants to get you drunk so she can have her way with you!”

Dani’s mouth fell open and she gave the punk girl a scathing glare.

“What was that?!” She demanded.

“Kidding, I’m kidding!” Gina held up her hands defensively. “It’s a joke! Come on, stop taking things so seriously!”

Dani scowled. If that was a joke, she didn’t find it very funny.

“Guys, let’s just relax and have a nice night, okay?” Marley was realizing very quickly that she might be the sole voice of reason here. Dani had a bit of a short fuse, Gina was a massive troll, Dakota was Dakota, and her sister…

…Well, judging by the way Carly was tugging suggestively at the silk wrappings on her outfit, Marley had a sinking suspicion that she was angling to sleep with Nick at some point tonight. Which was fine and all, but if that happened, Gina would definitely want a turn. And then Dakota wouldn’t want to be left out, of course.

Dani wouldn’t want to go for it, which just leaves… me.

Marley gulped. She quickly shook her head. Stop thinking that way! She chastised herself. This is just a casual party! There might be strippers later, sure, but that doesn’t mean that we’re going to be involved in any… shenanigans!

Her vocabulary had significantly improved since her days as a slime girl, that was for sure.

“I’m going to drink,” Dakota said gruffly, catching everybody’s attention. She’d been remarkably quiet tonight, which was unusual. Nick was worried that she still felt jealous about Dani having the position of his best woman.

Maybe I should do something to make it up to her, he thought. But he wasn’t sure what that would be. Knowing Dakota, she’d probably settle for sex in the bathroom or something, but that… I don’t know about that.

As much as Nick loved Dakota (and would very much enjoy having sex) the fact that this was his bachelor party still stuck in his mind.

It would be kind of awkward to just sneak out with her in the middle of the party. It would be like saying “I’m going to dick her down now! Have fun without us for a little bit!”

Nick may have been getting bolder, but even he had his limits.

“I’m surprised you drink,” Nick noted, turning to her. “Is this your first time?”

Dakota glanced at him with a wry smile on his lips and Gina snickered.

“Oh, no, it is NOT her first time!” The dark-haired punk cackled. “She and I, we got, like, stupid drunk way back when! I think around the second round it was? I can’t really remember, see, because my memory was fucking shot we got so blazed that night!”

She was already imagining getting that plastered again. But luckily, buzzkill Marley was there to keep everyone in check.

“Remember, guys, the wedding is tomorrow,” she pointed out. “If you get super drunk and then get hung over, then you won’t be able to enjoy it! You could ruin the whole thing!”

“Come on, sis, it’s not that big of a deal,” Carly said, patting her sister on the shoulder. “It’s a bachelor party! We’re supposed to cut loose and get a little wild!”

And then, to prove her point, she grabbed the hem of Marley’s sweater and tugged it up, showing off her bra-clad breasts to the group.

Dani’s eyes bugged out and Gina gave a whistle of approval. Dakota rolled her eyes and smirked, still waiting for her drink, while Nick struggled to process what he was seeing.

“C-Carly!” Marley sputtered, breaking free of her sister and hastily tugging her sweatshirt back down. “What the hell!? What did you do that for?!”

“Because it’s a party, duh,” Carly said, rolling her eyes. As if that magically made what she’d just done okay. “We’re supposed to be having fun!”

Marley just stared at her sister incredulously.

“Plus, it’s not like I have a shirt of my own to go ‘girls gone wild’ with,” Carly pointed out.

“That doesn’t mean you can use mine!” Marley couldn’t believe this. She’d never felt so humiliated before! She wanted to wring her sister’s neck!

“Come on, sis, it’s not that big of a deal,” Carly scoffed. “Right, Dani? You’re best woman, you don’t have a problem with it, right?”

She batted her eyelashes, knowing that Dani would go along with whatever she said.

Dani’s mouth flopped open and closed as she tried to think of the words to respond with. But her mind was drawing a blank.

“Uh…” She turned to Nick, a little **** to not have to tell Carly off herself. Luckily, Nick could read the room decently enough.

“Carly, tone it down,” he pleaded. “We don’t need stuff like-”

“My turn!” Gina cut him off, stripping out of her leather jacket and grabbing the bottom of her torn punk shirt, pulling it up and all the way off. She wasn’t one for half-measures. Her boobs bounced tantalizingly for all to see, straining against her bra. Nick noted that she wasn’t wearing the lacy white lingerie this time, having apparently returned to her black colors.

Knowing her, she probably expected to take her top off the entire time, he thought, figuring that was why she’d gone back to her usual underwear.

Dani licked her lips in spite of herself. Gina had never had the biggest breasts out of any of the girls in Nick’s harem (that honor still belonged to the Granger twins) but she was definitely pretty big. And there was something to be said about the sexiness of a girl who just outright strips to show off. She couldn’t blame anyone for being attracted, certainly not Nick.

Damn, what I wouldn’t give to get my hands on boobs like those, she thought.

Nick just sighed and shook his head in exasperation. “Come on, Gina, seriously?”

“What?” Gina leaned forward and shook her boobs a little, casting a smirk his way. “Feeling a little excited, master?”

And now she was calling him master. Great. Perfect. He knew exactly what she was doing, too, but there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it.

“If you’re trying to seduce me, it’s not going to work tonight,” he assured her.

Gina’s fingers danced over her lips. “Me? Seduce you? Perish the thought!” She was lying through her teeth, but Nick desperately wanted to believe her. Even though he knew that wish to believe her stemmed from the fact that he wanted to be naïvely seduced by her.

“Come on, Nick,” Dakota said, pulling him to the bar. “You should have known that’s how tonight was going to go.”

Her bewitching golden eyes glowed with excitement and she turned to the faerie bartender with a smile.

“Can I get a shot of spirytus for the man of the hour?” She asked, and the faerie nodded. Nick saw a sly smirk on the small pixie’s face, and immediately got suspicious.

“Now we’re talking!” Gina whistled.

That just confirmed his suspicions.

“What’s spirytus?” Marley demanded.

“Eh, nothing too bad,” Dakota said offhandedly. “I had it before. It’s pretty nice!”

The faerie placed a shot glass filled with a clear liquid in front of Nick. He took it warily, knowing he was probably being played, but what the hell? It was his bachelor party, after all, he reserved the right to get drunk if he wanted to!

He held the glass to his lips and then recoiled. He nearly spilled the drink.

“It’s stinging my eyes!” He exclaimed, feeling himself tear up. “What’s even in that stuff!?”

“Ah, yeah, it’ll do that,” Gina nodded. “You just gotta power through it, big guy! Come on, chug! Chug! Chug!”

“He’s taking a shot, not doing a keg stand,” Carly laughed.

“You know, Nick, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to,” Dani urged. Like Marley, she didn’t want him to get any drunker than he wanted to be. After all, tomorrow was his wedding!

What would they say to Mary if he couldn’t even stand up straight in the morning?

“Come on, Nick, for me?” Dakota cooed, batting her eyelashes.

And that was enough. Even though he knew this was certainly a bad idea, he couldn’t resist Dakota asking him for something. So he brought the shot glass to his lips and sucked it down in a flash, hoping it wouldn’t be that bad.

Boy was he wrong.

“Gyaasggh!” Nick gagged, stumbling back. The shot glass slipped from his fingers and rolled across the bar. He clawed at his throat and coughed, struggling to breathe.

“Nick!” Marley gasped, immediately going into panic mode.

“Are you okay!?” Dani exclaimed. “What the hell was in that stuff?!”

“****,” Dakota sniffed. “The good stuff.”

“You can say that again!” Gina howled, slapping her a high five. “Best damn shot I’ve ever had, I’m telling you!”

“That was… the worst thing… I’ve ever had to drink…” Nick panted, trying to stop himself from passing out. The second the drink had slipped past his lips it had started to burn. The inside of his mouth felt tingly and gross, and his throat stung. It was like he’d swallowed rat poison! He had vague memories to the feeling of dry mouth he’d gotten when his wisdom teeth had been removed and the anesthesia hadn’t worn off yet.

Only there was still pain, too.

It was the absolute worst.

“What you just had was a shot of spirytus,” Dakota informed him. “Gina, how much alchol did you say was in that stuff again?”

“It’s 96% ****,” Gina volunteered. She wasn’t a fan of math, but she could say that much. “It’s 192 proof.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Marley’s jaw dropped. “They make **** like that?!”

“Whoa,” Carly said, impressed. “I’ve seen that stuff in anime before, but I didn’t think it was real.”

“Wait, you knew about this?!” Marley turned to her sister in shock.

Carly shrugged. “I’ve heard of it before, yeah.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?!” Her twin demanded.

“…Because I wanted to see him drink it,” Carly replied with a blank look, as if that was obvious. Marley couldn’t believe her sister sometimes.

“That stuff isn’t meant for human consumption,” Dani said, shaking her head. “Nick, are you okay? How do you feel?”

The disgusting feeling in his mouth wasn’t going away, and he was a bit dizzy. He didn’t even register Dani had asked him a question at first.

“I-I need something to wash my mouth out,” he replied. “Can I get some water?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” Gina said, passing him a cup of water. Nick reached for it, but Dani grabbed his hand before he could take it.

“Hey, Dani?” He looked at her, confused.

Dani shook her head. She turned to the faerie.

“Excuse me, could I borrow a lighter?” She asked with a polite smile.

“Yeah, sure thing,” the faerie said, handing the tomboy a lighter that was almost as big as she was.

Dani flicked the lighter on and held it over the surface of the liquid in the cup.

It ignited immediately.

“…‘Water’ huh?” Dani glared at Gina, who pointedly glanced away.

“Well… it’s clear, ain’t it? So it’s close enough.”

“This is vodka!”

“Oh, this is great!” Carly cackled, holding her sides. “This really is just like in Grand Blue Dreaming!”

“Well, at least someone here is having fun,” Marley said dryly.

“Nah, but for real, give my friend here a glass of water,” Dakota said, trying not to laugh herself. They wanted to get Nick drunk for his bachelor party, but they didn’t want to upset him TOO much.

The faerie set down a glass, and Nick reached for that one next.

Dani tested it with the lighter again. Just to make sure.

Once she finished making sure there wasn’t any **** in the cup, Nick washed the taste of 192 proof liquor out of his mouth. Or at least he tried.

He wasn’t sure if that sensation would ever fully go away.

“You know what we should do next?” Gina asked excitedly, her eyes glowing. Everyone knew this was going to be a bad idea.

“I swear, Gina, if you suggest ‘semen shots’ I’m going to punch you through that mirror,” Dani hissed.

“…No, that’s for later,” Gina said, shaking her head. “I was just saying we should all do shots of spirytus! You know, in solidarity for what Nick had to go through!”

“I agree, sounds like a fine idea,” Dakota nodded.

“Oh, come on! That was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Dani groaned.

“Come on,” Gina said, rolling her eyes. She shook her shoulders to make her boobs jump in her bra a little. “Are you seriously complaining about a bunch of hot girls getting plastered on the hardest **** known to humans? You?”

Dani opened her mouth to defend herself, but realized that deep down, yeah, she did kind of want that.

“Let’s put it to a vote,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Sure thing! Dakota and I both vote ‘yes’!” Gina cheered, as both black-haired girls raised their hands.

Marley and Dani kept their hands firmly at their sides, which just left Carly.

It didn’t take a genius to know how she was voting.

Marley sighed and shook her head in frustration. “Of fucking course,” she muttered as Carly raised her hand with a wicked grin on her face.

“Let’s get this party started! Woooooo!” The cosplayer cheered, pumping both fists into the air as the faerie presented the girls with five shots.