The longest Day I

00:45 AM

Cassandra

"My Lord is sooooooooooo stupid!"

The Sexy-Knights cheeks were flushed. Probably to be expected. She clearly was not used to drinking but that didn’t stop her from trying. "Why did he just go and sold his soul to a...a..devil! Ugghh! I can't believe this! Hic!”

“It’s because Mari’s a bloody eijit! A Dobber! A Fud! He needs a good walloping!”

“Y-Your are right! Miss Cuffs! We need to tie my Lord up and BEAT THE DEVIL OUT OF HIM!”

Noisy shits.

After what Daddy pulled I just wanted to spend a few hours drinking in peace and quiet. Bedroom is off limits, don’t want to deal with the little brat crying herself to sleep. Lucky charm dragged Kitty and the horse into the hot springs so those were out too.

That left the roof.

Unfortunately half the gang followed me up here and this turned into a drinking party.

Well.

Can’t say I care for the company but now that the storm has passed, only a pleasant coolness remains in the air. It made for pretty fucking great drinking weather.

And I could really use a couple dozen more drinks.

“GLUG GLUG GLUG! BWAAAAHHHH! Man, that is some good booze you’re having, Cass!”

"L-Lady Sylphid, please don't drink so much!"

You certainly wouldn't think Sylphid just lost the majority of her strength. Here she was, happily downing one glass after the other.

"It's fine! It's fine!", the crazy bitch laughed fondling Fisti in the process. "I need to check what my body is still capable of! Hey Cass, match me! Lets see who passes out first!”

Might as fucking well.

I downed the glass. "Daddy should have fucking accepted my proposal", I grumbled. "Now, he’s gonna piss his life away and for what? A slim chance to win tomorrow? Gimme a break. All because of that Valkyrie bitch.”

Sylphid had grace enough to only shrug her shoulders. "What?", I scoffed. "Nothing to say? We are in this mess because of your fucking Galmon buddy."

"H-Hey!", the fangirl predictably cut in. "Lady Sylphid would have sacrificed her life! So, shut yer mouth!”

"It's ok, Fisti", Sylphid smiled her usual annoying smile. "I won't deny that without Valk imprisoned, Handsome would have most likely ran away.”

“I should have found the holy blaaaaade”, the Sexy-knight whined, while dangerously swaying from on side of the roof to the other. “Then...stuff would have been better! Urp...w-who knows what that d-devil is doing to my poor Lord right now! He is too innoceeeeeent for a devil! He’s basically a baby!”

I poured myself another drink. " I hope you are all prepared for what’s going to happen when he loses. The cunt’s gonna **** us to ****.”

That finally shut them up.

Well, the mood was sufficiently ruined. Good. Maybe now I can drink in fucking peace.

"You miserable lot are absolutely pathetic!"

That was the snake girl. Oh yeah, she was up here too, for some reason. But of course she decided to stay as far away from us as possible.

Up until now she had busied herself with the important task of staring angrily at the sky.

“What’s yer problem?”, Fisti asked like the moron she is. Hasn’t she realized that the best way to handle snake bitch is to ignore her?

“Our problem?”, the Galmon bristled. "All you witless fools do is sit here, inebriate yourself like base fools and spout complains. It is utterly reprehensible!”

“It’s not like we can do anything else”, countered Fisti, who was still in the process of getting fondled by Sylphid. “It’s in Mari’s hands now and that devil.”

“If only I found Nikkouuuuuuuuuu!”, Sexy-Knight wailed and finally dropped to the ground. “It is all my faaaaauuuuuuuuuult!”

“Reprehensible”, Snakedick repeated. “You want to sit here, wallowing in your own filth like this? Do you have not a single smidgen of shame in that unsightly body of yours?”

“Yer face is unsightly!”

“You know. I wouldn’t mind getting into some action”, Sylphid said with a grin. “But I can’t leave this tower until tomorrow.”

Snakedick had the audacity to sneer at that. "That is nothing more then a foolish excuse! You still have your brain, meager that it is! Provide us with suggestion on how we can ensure that foolish Mari Beta’s victory!”

Oh, go fuck yourself you noisy bitch.

“Well?”, snakelady folded her arms. “What are you waiting for! As our loyal subjects we order you produce answers this instant!”

Fucking Galmons, I swear. Even our delusional master strategist brat has thrown in the towel. There’s nothing we can do.

“Aye...aye..agree with Hebibibibi...let’s do...fight the evil guys! For our Looooord! Gooo! Nikkouuuuu!”

You can barely even sit.

"Well..." Sylphid slowly started. "We already established that finding that sword would help, right?”

“R-r-r-r-right!”, the Sexy-Knight bopped her head up and down numerous times. “I will...r-right..N-Nikkou! Where are youuuuu?”

"Shout louder, maybe it calls back." Time for shot number five. Or was it six? Bunch of delusional fucks.

“Just ignore the slaver. I can help with the food stuff?”, suggested Fisti. “Maria and Cia will probably have a tough time with it alone. I make sure Mari will get some proper meat on his bones!”

“Maybe if we fatten him up enough he gets disqualified for ugliness”, I chuckled.

“Uh, I got an idea!”, Sylphid was suddenly grinning. “I can have sex with Handsome and the Devil. That should give them some excellent motivation to keep going!”

"Nutrient and sexual practice?", scoffed Snake-girl. “Is that all you have to offer? We are disappointed.”

Damn this bitch is pissing me off. "The fuck are you going to do?", I finally snapped. “Besides bitching, you bitch.”

“Silence, rude girl!”, Snake-girl hissed. “As your Queen it is not our duty to do. We are here to instruct our thralls to work as they are supposed to.”

Figures.

"Hebi-san is absopositamzalingly right!", the Sexy-Knight proclaimed boldly as she stood up, wobbled and fell on top of Sylphid.

"Gie it laldy!”, Fisti agreed(?) and prevented the Sexy-Knight from suffocating Sylphid with her boobs. “Come on, ya guys! Mony a mickle maks a muckle!”

“Wohoo!”, Sylphid laughed. “Alright! I’m pumped now! Time for some mickle muckles!”

“MICKLY MUCKLES! WOOOOOOOHHHH!”

Ugggghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just let me fucking drink in peace, you annoying shits!

I glared at the drunk dumbasses. Can’t believe snakedick actually got them riled up. "Get it in your thick skull already, there is nothing…"

Riled up.

I paused.

No. Hold on. There was something I could do. No, something only I could do.

Oh, fuck me.

I glanced at my half full bottle. I could also sit here and keep drinking. It’s a pretty longshot anyways. It probably won’t even work. This is my last day. Might as well enjoy it.

But if snake girl can do it...

...

With a loud grunt I threw the bottle off the tower. Hopefully it smashed someone’s head in.

Then I stood up.

"Going already?", Sylphid grinned up to me with that annoying look of hers. Feels like she sees right fucking through me.

"Yeah."

If if I want to pull this off I needed to dunk my head in a bucket of ice water first.

Fuck my life.

Femto’s estimate on victory over Minerva

Amber Dominator Mari Beta (1%/0.5%)

steel dirks (0.4%/0.2%)

Devil of time(1 hour) (13.6%/6.8%)

Cass is doing something (2%/1%)

Sylphid is doing something (1%/0.5%)

Sanakia is doing something (-2%/-1%)

Leaky is doing something (0.2%/0.1%)

chances of victory by kill: 16,2%

chances of victory via surrender: 8.1%