Chapter 13 by Zeebop

What does Harley want to do to her?

Donkey Show

"Harleen, no," Poison Ivy said. "It's cruel to the animal."

"Whatabout we get her pregnant and then hang her up by your vines and I can bust her open like a piñata?" Harley Quinn said.

"That's disgusting. Veto," Ivy said, slim hands going to her hips.

"So I guess that means you don't want to use her to recreate 2 Girls 1 Cup or Tubgirl," Harley said sadly.

"Correct. I want to keep my birthday cake down," Ivy said. "And don't say goatse, either."

"Cut off her arms and legs and—" The Clown Princess began, and Ivy glowered.

"I'm going to stop you there. I know it's your birthday, Harls, but what the hell is with you tonight?" Ivy said.

The pale-painted face settled in a pout. "I dunno Red, I've just been...kinda down lately. Thought a little mayhem would cheer me up, but I'm gettin' older. Y'know how many years I've turned 29?"

Lois Lane was transfixed, unable to move or speak...though her ears burned as she heard Harley Quinn's plans for her.

"What you need is to scratch something off your sexual bucket list," Ivy said. "Come on. Isn't there some kink you've wanted to try? I mean this is Lois Lane! Superman's girlfriend. There has to be something you want to do with her that doesn't come from a Japanese **** movie or recreating an internet meme."

"Well...there is one thing..." Harley gave an exaggerated sigh. "But you're gonna say 'no.'"

The plant-villain moved up behind Harley and wrapped her arms around her.

"Harley, if it doesn't involve ****, ****, ****, scat, or ****, I will support you 100%," Ivy said. "I promise. So come on, what's kink do you want to work out?"