Dancing!

"Oh no!" Amy looked despairingly over at Rosa and Gina, who were also horrified by the next Game announcement. Amy was a notoriously dorky dancer.

"We're boned." Rosa commented as a stripper pole was wheeled into the middle of the precinct,

"Alrighty guys the third Jimmy Jab Game!" Jake shouted out excitedly, "is dancing! Every member of each team will have a go dancing around the stripper pole. Captain Holt, as our cultural ambassador and referee, will explain,"

Holt immediately took over,

"I am looking for FINESSE. I want you to WOW me with your virtuosity. You cannot just be crude or worse: IRONIC. This is not the community college dance society. I want to see Margot Fonteyn reborn before me. I want to be transported to the Bolshoi at the pinnacle of Catherine the Great's reign! Anything less and you will be judged HARSHLY."

Amy felt herself shrivel up into a walnut.

"Okaaaay...thank you Captain for...that," Jake chimed in cheerily, "Let's do it!" With that, Jake pressed play on the speaker, and S&M by Rihanna started playing.

The boys started out, well, terrifyingly good. Terry went up and swooped around the pole like a majestic eagle, gyrating his body to the rhythm as though the music gods themselves had granted him the gift of dance. Captain Holt took notes as the precinct cheered Terry on. Again Amy despaired. She turned to Gina and Rosa for a group huddle, but Rosa was already googling "Looking Good Naked" tips and Gina was apparently stupefied by Terry's performance, drool dripping from her open mouth.

Next came Charles, whose dancing technique was slightly less well-refined than Terry's. In fact it was practically non-existent, allowing Gina to break out of her trance. Amy saw her chance,

"Guys, please! We have to come up with a plan fast!"

"Don't worry Ames..." Gina reassured, "I've got my Floor-Gasm experience, Rosa did dance classes..."

Amy looked at Rosa, shocked, "wait, did you?"

"Shut up, Amy."

"So we've got this in the bag!" Gina concluded,

"But I don't...have that experience..." Amy sighed,

"Well," Gina considered as Charles attempted what appeared to be some kind of chicken impression, "you could always try 3 Drinks Amy?"

"3 Drinks Amy?"

"You know, when you have three drinks you get all Dancey Pants. Even if you suck you'll be more confident than if you're sober."

"That's...not a bad idea Gina...but where am I gonna get three drinks in the office?"

Rosa took a large bottle of vodka out of her desk drawer,

"Here. Drink three shots."

"Why do you have a bottle of vodka in your desk?"

"Don't ask questions Amy."

"Got it," Amy piped down as she took her first swig.

Captain Holt noted the surprisingly tasteful dance performance by Jake to the music of Nelly. Then it was the girls' turn. First up was Rosa, who did not let several years of torturous ballet school go to waste. The precinct was in awe at her six pirouettes, then gasped when she finished with a triumphant leap through the air as though she were levitating. At this point Amy was kind of out of it with her first drink kicking in, but she did notice when everyone started applauding. Okay...second drink NOW.

Then came Gina, who didn't have the ability Rosa had, but she certainly had the PASSION, throwing her body left and right to the music in several statuesque poses and pelvic thrusts. Again there was applause, with Amy shouting and whooping the loudest with the second drink in her. As Gina finished up, Amy knew it was time, so she downed her third and final drink. Come on Amy Santiago. There is no way you're going to be Jake's naked **** for the week!

She approached the stripper pole and began to DANCE!