Help Raichu hit its mark

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Stripper Slut Emilia & Stripper Slut Surge – Grr… We can still win this!

• Vileplume – Fairly Strong, Injured
• Raichu – Capable, Healthy

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VS

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Gym Leader Brooke – If you’re trying to win my heart, then you’ve already won, ladies. Your prize is some mindblowing sex with yours truly!

• Golbat – Fairly Strong, Healthy
• Graveler – Strong, Healthy

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“Surge, can’t you do something about Golbat?” you ask urgently.

“Raichu can’t get enough time to aim a more accurate attack, so all I’m stuck with is Thunder, which has piss poor accuracy! Damn it, if only it were raining, Raichu could hit a pinhead in the blink of an eye! I don’t suppose your Vileplume can make it rain indoors, can it?”

“No,” you sigh. “It can’t, but…”

Perception Check: Passed!

A crazy thought passes your mind, far too crazy to say aloud. Instead, you point wordlessly up at the ceiling. Surge follows your hand, then starts grinning. “You’re crazy. Raichu, Thunderbolt the ceiling!”

Raichu looks about as confused as it has every right to be, but the next opening it gets, it launches lightning at the ceiling with little aiming involved. The metal sprinkler heads take care of the rest, attracting the electricity and immediately setting off the fire sprinklers. Hysteria follows, with all the clubgoers screaming and trying to find somewhere dry. Brooke is surprisingly unbothered by the whole thing, still commanding her pokemon as her shaggy, soaking wet bangs stick to her face. “Don’t get distracted by the water, you two! Keep your opponents split up!”

Surge patiently waits for an opening, then shouts, “Raichu, Thunder!”

A bolt of lightning comes down, this time with pinpoint precision on Golbat’s head, knocking it out with a single blow. That gets Brooke’s attention.

“Aw man! This is why you soaked my whole Gym? Graveler, Bulldoze!”

Graveler skids across the wet stage at high speed before slamming into Raichu, defeating it just as quickly as Golbat went down. You hate to see Surge’s Raichu sacrificed like that, but Graveler and Vileplume are the only ones standing, and this is a matchup you’ll definitely win.

“Vileplume, Petal Dance!”

“Graveler, Rollout!”

Brooke’s Graveler comes flying at Vileplume full speed, but before it collides, a machine gun of razor-sharp petals crash into it, stopping it in its tracks and causing it to faint. As expected, a Ground and Rock type like Graveler was easy for Vileplume to handle.

You’re about to celebrate, but Surge beats you to the punch by jumping her entire height off the floor and screaming, “We did it! Yes!” She sprints over to you, grabs your head with both hands, and kisses you directly on the lips! W-Wha!? Before you can mentally recovery, the pipsqueak leaves you in the dust and runs over to Brooke. “Take that, you annoying, pervy bitch! That’s what you get for making fun of my boobs! Lecher!” Brooke dramatically slumps over, then mopes backstage to turn off the fire sprinklers. Meanwhile, Surge runs victory laps around the stage. Geez, Surge’s emotions are a whirlwind, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing. You feel a sense of camaraderie, and quickly find yourself joining her by running around the stage and cheering.

You’d hoped for Brooke’s depression to continue, but when she returns, it’s like she never lost. “Ah, your combined adoration has overwhelmed me! I have to give credit to the passion of your pokemon battling. It’s almost as strong as the passion with which I’ll be plowing your alluring, gropable bodies as your reward for winning!”

You and your battle partner turn to face Brooke with a level of malice that makes a cold breeze blow through the strip club. “No.” You then resume running around and cheering in the background.

Brooke freezes for a second, her words failing her in the face of such passionate rejection. “C-Can’t blame a gal for trying! Anyway, here’s the Boulder Badge, Lily. Though its shiny, dark colors can’t compare with your brilliant, raven hair.”

You ignore her flirting as you run up to Brooke and snatch the badge from her hands, leaving Surge to continue dashing around with her arms out like an airplane. With a grin, you say, “Thanks, you awful, frustrating person!”

Brooke is clearly unnerved. Under her breath she mutters, “I’m surprised she didn’t take a page from Suzy’s book and call me a bitch-”

“Bitch,” you chirp, still smiling.

“R-Right. Should’ve seen that coming. But don’t forget your other reward! To you two lovely ladies and your compact-yet-elegant forms that just beg to be fucked, I grant you… drumroll… It’s my eternal love!”

“Don’t need it,” you and Surge answer abruptly.

Brooke whispers something to herself, then clears her throat. “I present, to these two hot girls whose pants I really wanna get into… celebratory drinks for the rest of the night! On the house!”

Out of nowhere, Surge is standing right next to you. “Yes!” she declares.

Willpower Check: Failed!

“Ahhh, why not?” you concede. “I guess I could use a drink.”

Brooke smiles victoriously. “Excellent! I know you girls are feeling frosty now, but a few drinks will loosen you right up! You girls know how to have fun, and you’ll have the most fun you’ve ever had if you join me in bed-”

“No!” you and Surge interrupt.