Walk back to campus

We walked back to campus in silence. Jamie kept looking over at me. Several times it seemed like he was about to say something, but stopped himself. My thoughts were racing, replaying the events in the bedroom over and over. It seemed like it had happened to someone else, that I had only spectated someone else's debasement. It was a surreal feeling. In the moment I had been lost in arousal, but walking back with Jamie afterwards the guilt was almost unbearable.

As we neared the fountain Jamie once more looked like he was about to say something{if Suspicion<15}, but again he stopped himself at the last second. At this point there was a pit in my stomach, gnawing at me, screaming at me to confess so I could escape this horrible feeling. {else}, and this time he finally managed to do so.

"So Emily, I feel like there is something weird going on," he said looking at me warily. "It could just be my imagination, but I would rather just clear the air right now."

I had to **** myself to breathe. He was completely right of course, but could I really tell him that? My guilty conscience told me it was better to just tell him and get it over with.{endif} But even as the thought hit me I could image his reaction, a look of disgust and betrayal I never wanted to see. It was a one time mistake right? Not like I would do it again anyway. Telling him would only cause pain for no gain. Right?