Street (Un)fair!

Valarie had just turned the corner when she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of barricades blocking the street, complete with a large banner that read, "45th Annual Street Fair".

"Oh crap..." Valarie squeaked. She had been so busy trying to surprise her (now ex-) boyfriend, that she had forgotten all about the street fair. A collection of noisy games, vendors, and local bands all in one place. And from the looks of it, it seemed like half the city was attending this year's fair. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice her, but Valarie knew that could change at any second. She backed away slowly...

"Ahem!"

Valarie froze, her face turning eggshell white at the voice. Looking over her shoulder, she gulped as she locked eyes with a policewoman smirking at her.

"Well, well, well." The Policewoman began, "Here I was thinking I got the short end of the stick after being hired to play security guard for this street fair, when along comes a streaker. And one who," she cringed slightly, "hasn't seemed to have showered in a while, if that smell is anything to go by."

"I... Uh, I can explain this, Officer." Valarie replied as she turned around, blushing furiously as she gave a sheepish chuckle. "See, I went over to my boyfriend's house across town to give him a sexy surprise by covering myself with whipped cream."

"I see."

"Yeah. But it turned out that the ass had been cheating on me with my bitchy rival!"

"No! Really?!"

"Yes! And then the bitch pushed me into the pool, washing away the cream, before locking me out in the front yard! And since I lost my trench coat, wallet, and phone, I had to streak back to my car!"

"You don't say?"

"But then my car got towed, and I was **** to cut through the nature trail where I fell in mud, got bitten by ants, and sprayed by a skunk!"

"Well, that explains the smell."

"And now, I gotta get to my job at the record store for a shower, get changed into my work uniform, and then get back home to put an end to this nightmare!"

"Wow. That's quite the story, Ma'am."

Valarie blinked a few times, giving off a nervous grin and chuckle before gulping. "And you didn't believe a single word of that, did you?"

"Other than the mud and skunk thing?" The Policewoman asked, "Yeah. I'm taking you in for indecent exposure."

"Well, I guess I - HOLY CRAP!" Valarie exclaimed, "Some creep is mugging that poor defenseless grandma!"

"Where?!" The Policewoman shouted as she turned around...

Allowing Valarie to run towards the crowd at the street fair, blushing furiously as she prayed no one she knew was there...