One lucky SOB

Frank flipped through the channels in boredom before turning the TV off, groaning as he laid back on the bed. "Where is that stupid nerd anyway? He should've been back by now. And I haven't gotten one call from a police station with him bitching and whining to come pick him up. Not that I would, of course, but..."

*THUMP!*

Frank jumped at the noise, sitting up to look at the door as the sounds of moaning and gasps came from the other side.

"Lousy asses can't wait until they're in the room." Frank muttered in annoyance. He then let out a groan as he added, "That's what I should've done! Called a call girl. That would've nuked the little wimp's pathetic pride."

*Thump!*

*Thump!*

*Thump!*

"Alright! That's it!" Frank snapped as he got to his feet and marched angrily to the door, throwing it open. "What the hell do you -"

Frank's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he saw Dexter, still naked, making out aggressively with an equally as naked Sophie, the latter pinning Dexter to the wall.

"The hell?!"

Dexter and Sophie broke off the kiss as they turned to Frank, the young woman giggling as she clung to Dexter's arm. "Hey, Frank." Dexter said as he lead the girl past his brother and into the hotel room, "I like you to meet Sophie. Sophie, this is my fraternal twin brother, Frank."

"How do you do?" Sophie asked with a giggle.

"Uh..." Frank began, not believing the sight before him. Shaking his head, he closed the door and cleared his throat. "Who the hell is this, Dork?"

"Oh, Sophie's my girlfriend."

"Oh, is that all she - WHAT?!" Frank yelled, shock in his voice. Did he just hear his brother right? "Is she blind? Drunk? Stupid? Any combination of the three?!"

"Oh, I'm drunk alright. Drunk on the love I have for this sexy stud of a stallion!" Sophie purred in reply as she ran a hand down Dexter's chest. With a coy smile, she added, "We even did it in the elevator."

"You... I... That's... You're... I..." Frank stammered, looking between the two. His nerdy loser of a brother lost his virginity before he did?! No way! "You're making that up! There's no way you took one look at this puny and scrawny loser and decided that you wanted him for yourself!"

"No, you're right..."

"I knew it!"

"It was a five-way." Sophie corrected, a smirk on her lips as she saw Frank's eyes bulge out of his head.

"I... I... I don't believe that!" Frank snapped, his voice shaking in disbelief just as another knock came to the door. Frank opened it and was immediately greeted by a naked Carol, the woman pushing the younger man aside as she made her way over to Dexter.

"Dexy!" Carol cheered as she hugged the young man tightly and gave a kiss to his forehead. "There you are! C'mon, Sweetie, let's go back to bed. I'll do that thing you love. You know, the one where I treat that gorgeous rod of your's like a lollipop."

"Hey! You had your turn! It's my turn now!" Sophie said defensively.

"I... I... I... I..."

"Only after we get done with him!" Cindy shouted as she and Karen waltzed into the room, the latter stopping briefly in front of Frank.

"I don't mind telling, but things that boy can do with his tongue are just..." Karen said, adding a lustful growl before skipping towards Dexter.

Frank blinked, slack jawed and wide eyed at what he was seeing. Not only had Dexter apparently hooked up and banged this admittedly cute girl their age, but he had a wild fling with three hot women who looked seven years older than him as well? And they enjoyed it?! And were now arguing over him?!

Had the world gone mad?!

"Okay, that's it!" Frank snapped, getting the attention of the five in front of him. "You ladies are obviously crazy, drunk, or ****! Allow me to show you what a real stallion looks like!"

Without another word, Frank began to strip off his clothes until he stood naked in front of the five, placing his hands on his hips as he showed off his six pack abs, biceps, and seven inch manhood with a cocky grin. "Feast your eyes, Ladies. Bet you regret banging the wrong brother now, huh?"

Sophie, Carol, Cindy, and Karen merely looked Frank up and down... Before turning their attention back to each other as they continued to argue over Dexter. Frank was even more shocked and insulted. Were these women snubbing him for Dexter?!

"Alright fine!" Frank snapped as he turned for the door, "You want a limp, pathetic nerd? Have at it! I'm going out there to get some tail that isn't drunk, stupid, crazy, or ****!"

"What about your clothes?" Dexter asked, hiding a sly smirk.

Frank laughed sarcastically. "If your pathetic naked ass and little inchworm can get four hotties, then my Adonis like build can get twenty times as much!"

And with that, Frank slammed the door behind him and walked down the hall, leaving the five alone in the room. The group merely stared at each other before bursting out into laughter.

"Oh, man!" Karen laughed, "I did not think that was going to work!"

"Me either." Cindy giggled.

"Well, that's Frank for you." Dexter said with a shrug. "And thanks for helping me pull one last fast one on him, guys."

"Do you think we might've gone a little far, though?" Carol asked. "I mean, won't he get arrested?"

"We heard what he was saying before, Carol." Sophie argued, "He was going to let Dexter rot in jail if they caught him."

"... Good point. The ass deserves it." Carol said, shrugging. An idea soon came to her head as she smiled and grabbed Karen and Cindy's hands and led them towards the door. "Why don't we go and celebrate, girls?! I'll even buy you guys dinner and some new clothes to wear for the ride back home tomorrow."

"That's rather gen-" Karen began, only to stop as she and Cindy realized what Carol was meaning. "Oh, good idea."

"Catch you two later!" Carol said to Sophie and Dexter, leaving the room with Cindy and Karen before closing the door behind them.

"So..." Dexter began as he sat down on his bed. "Sex in an elevator was good, don't get me wrong. However, in a bed would -"

Dexter didn't even get to finish before Sophie pounced on him, the two embracing and Frenching the other as Sophie pinned Dexter to the bed.

"C'mon, they're gonna be busy for a while." Carol said as she led the others towards the elevator.

"Carol? Clothes?"

"That's why we're going out, Cindy, you silly goose."

"No, I mean your clothes and our bath robes."

"Oh." Carol said sheepishly as she walked towards their room, "Oops."

"Get away from me, you sick pervert!" A woman in her early twenties spat as she threw her iced coffee into Frank's face, the man sputtering and spitting as the woman walked away.

"Don't you realize an Adonis when you see one?!" Frank spat as the other women looked at him like he was crazy.

"Well, I gotta admit you look easy on the eyes from where I'm standing."

"Yes! Thank you for being a woman with a functioning brain cell!" Frank replied as he turned around to face the woman... Letting out a squeak as he saw a woman in her mid-twenties wearing a police uniform and smiling sarcastically at him. "Heh! G-good... ," he covered his manhood, "Good evening, Officer."

"You are aware that public nudity is against the law, right buddy?" The Policewoman asked.

"Oh... Well, I have an excellent explanation for this, Ma'am."

"I bet you do." The Officer said as she pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed Frank's wrist. "And you can tell that explanation to the judge. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be..."

The women in the lobby laughed as Frank was perp marched out of the lobby and towards her car, the young man letting out a groan of embarrassment.

"Watch your head." The Officer said as she placed Frank into the back of the squad car and closed the door.

As The Policewoman entered the driver's side door, Frank opened his mouth to speak, but was soon cut off by the police radio. "Calling all cars. Calling all cars. We have reports of an escaped convict escaping Federal Police custody. Subject is reported as a naked Caucasian female, mid-forties, long brown hair, and brown eyes. Reportedly smells like '**** run over'. Responds to the name, 'Margot Golds'. Suspect was last seen fleeing a Federal paddy wagon and ducking through the alleyways of the city."

The Policewoman sighed as she picked up the radio and spoke into it. "On it dispatch." She said, "Just let me drop this streaker off at the station and I'll be on the look out. Over."

"Copy that, Car Seven. Dispatch, over and out."

"You'd think that being a Vegas Cop would be this exciting all the time." The Policewoman said with a chuckle as she drove off towards the police station.

Across the street from the hotel, Margot threw the hacksaw to the ground, having finally cut through the chains of the cuffs. A task that was, while difficult already, was made even more easier said than done thanks to her blurred eyesight from her constant skunkings. Thankfully, by the skunk's final spray, those agents finally decided to pull over to investigate the smell... Allowing Margot to finally escape and make a run for it.

"Alright..." Margot said to herself as she gagged, "First, I find some place to take a fifteen hour shower. Next, I find clothes. Then, I -"

"Carol! Slow down!"

Hearing the familiar voices, Margot looked towards the hotel and squinted her eyes, gasping as she saw Carol, Karen, and Cindy leaving the hotel doors and heading off into the night; Carol fully dressed, and Cindy and Karen wearing bathrobes.

"You!" Margot growled, narrowing her eyes as her blood began to boil. "Slight change of plans, you crazy little bimbo!"