Smile, you’re on camera!

Eloise adjusted the tiara on her head, and kept a catlike smile on her face as the hosts chatted between breaks. On the inside she was fuming. For skylar to talk about their relationship on air, well it just felt like an even greater betrayl than Eloise’s plot to get her canceled. Eloise was usually a never ending well of cool, and coy. Yet this little blonde twerp had always been the arrow to pierce that armor. When they were together that had been terribly exciting and warm. But that was a short lived period of time. Since then Skylar had elicited nothing but rage and jealousy from the host.

As she prepared herself for the next round of questions, she looked out onto the audience. Her gaze caused many fans to perk up, and wave at her. To keep her brand she just returned a bored look, and moved to another section of the crowd, and that’s when she spotted him.

Randy had taken her advice afterall, he’d gotten out of Colorado, and it looked like he took one of his human friends too. Wise choice, the first half at least. For those two she rewarded a smile.

She’d been hoping to be with Skylar when she returned to Colorado and saw that all she’d worked for had been laid to ruin. But, she much prefered to do it now, on live television.

Eloise leaned over to Trent, and squeezed one of his biceps. “Trent, when you pick a **** I want it to be seat 41.

Trent nodded. “Anything for you.” He gave her a peck on the cheek and wrote the number down.

She should have done this years ago. Eloise saw Skylar trying to finish off an everything bagel before the commercial break was over. Her last meal. Feeling flirtatious, and evil Eloise got up, and walked over to her old lover. One last conversation. "You see everything everywhere all at once?"

"Loved it." Skylar squinted suspiciously. "The commentary about ADD and anxiety really spoke to me."

“I’ll have you know, you really hurt my feelings saying all of that on air.” Eloise was exhausted with the small talk. Time for the face ripping, earring pulling cat fight!

Skylar’s cat outfit was well-picked, she slurped up a piece of salmon and munched on it noisily. “I'm sorry." Her cat ears drooped. "We're so nasty to each other on air all the time, I figured nothing was off limits."

"It still hurts." Eloise crossed her arms. "I know we hate each other, but I thought... I thought our season together counted for something." Gah, she meant it too. As she spoke, Skylar's clock of life was counting down. She knew Skylar was defective but her brain was starting to feel like her enemy too. Funny how for Skylar it as her blood thirstyness that was the invader, and for Eloise it was tenderness.

"It counted for everything." Skylar sighed and set the bagel aside. "I miss when we were young, and we just felt perfect for each other."

Eloise nodded. "We know what that's like. You can plan a season perfectly, down to the color of the carpet. Then you put the humans in, and it all goes wild."

Skylar laughed, they knew about that from the beginning. "Yeah, I've been seeing a lot of that recently."

Eloise apparently was feeling nostalgic as well as evil. "Do you think if ther was no Skylar, and no Karen, we'd still be together?"

The blonde thought about this. It was hard to say anything would happen one way or another over twenty years. I do. When we were one, it was perfect. But..." She gave Eloise a sad smile. "... I wouldn't trade Skylar for anything. Even you. Do you feel the same?"

Eloise sniffed, and turned her head away. The little bitch could hurt a person even when she was being sweet. "No I don't. I only I only chose, so you wouldn't be alone."

Skylar sighed. "Well it would have been a shame if you were never born."

Eloise shrugged. "What was all that bullshit about anyway? That wasn't why we broke up."

Skylar straightened up. She could sense her other half was taking on an attack posture. "I’m declaring war on cruelty. I'm tired of just making my happy little seasons. I want people to know this is what I'm doing from now on, and I want them to want it. We can do our jobs by being guides to the masters and the slaves, instead of how it is now.”

Eloise laughter flapped about the room. “You said that exact thing when we were created. Where’ve you been for twenty years?” You did not have to look through the archives to find absolutely horrific transformations Skylar has inflicted on her contestants.

Skylar blushed, and stared down at Eloise’s flats. “I've always made my harems happy.”

“You **** happiness upon them, you make them love you torturing them.” Eloise shrugged. “And that’s fine, but I’m so sick of you acting like it’s **** than what the rest of us do.”

“You’re just jealous. I’m going to Disney World with Heidi, and we’re going to be nice, and everyone is going to love it, and you’re going to be stuck in smelly old Portland, pooping out another boring season!”

Eloise snorted. “I know that’s what you want, but are you really going to be able to stop yourself from turning a girl into a giant rat in Disneyland? Or repeat what you did to the twins… or… what are they up to now, doudecaoplettes? Does Heidi know who you really are? Because I do, and you’re disgusting.”

Skylar winced and backed away as if she’d been slapped. No, she would have preferred being slapped. What Eloise said, had hurt. "I'm not disgusting... I'm gentle and kind."

"You're a ripper!"

“I’m not a ripper, I’m a princess. I’m who I choose to be!”

Eloise was getting wet. The pain on her face, the distress. She breathed her other half’s pain in like a sweet vapor. There was no mortal she’d ever loved pleasuring or torturing more than her Skylar. Eloise anticipated that when she finally was canceled, Eloise would reach the peak of pleasure. “You’re who the Producers made you to be. You’re nothing more than a schizophrenic Yuki. At least she knows her cute shell is a facade, the only person your pink clothes fools is you. We all see you for the disgusting monster you are.” To her surprise, Skylar shoved her.

Well…

It was safer to say she aggressively tapped Eloise on the shoulders, but it was an outburst of ****. Eloise had never seen that from Skylar before. The little blonde wouldn't swat a hornet if it was stinging her. She might give it tits... but still.

The little blonde was standing there red-faced, her hands curled into fists.

Eloise was melting with pleasure. Her little pet was finally breaking, shattering, this whole season she’d been unraveling, and now this… She had to bite her lip to hold back her moan.

“Skylar was a good girl. She was a princess whose mommy loved her.” She was grinding out the words, by far the angriest Eloise had ever seen her. “If I turned out any different than her, it’s because you didn’t give me the love I needed!” And there were the waterworks.

Not this time Skylar. Eloise wasn’t your lover anymore, and she wouldn’t stop just because you were sobbing. “We’re hosts Skylar, we’re not capable of love. Even if I had any to give, you wouldn’t be able to hold it.”

“I love!” Skylar ground the words out. “I loved you! And when my brain got scary, I came to you! And you left me!” She sobbed loud and hard, she fell to her knees. All this poor thing in the shape of a woman had ever wanted was love. That was entirely her own fault. The two of them had been created to **** each other, mistress and ****, both in a never-ending war for dominance. Then she had to go and want love out of it. “We were made for each other, and you were supposed to love me!”

“Hmph.” Eloise pushed her rival to the ground. “Then I guess we’re both defective…” She placed her foot on Skylar’s face and pressed her cheek to the ground. “What is that you would always say when Babs beat us?”

Skylar felt a surge of lust run through her, from this ****, and from the memory of what Babs would do to them between episodes. “It shows you care.”

Punishment is used to correct bad behavior. You wouldn’t want to correct someone if you didn’t care about them.

“Yet another thing you were wrong about.” She took her foot off and stepped back. “We don’t kick the dogs we care about!” Like a soccer player, she laughed her foot into her pink lover and sent her sliding on stage. Skylar made no effort to get up, she just lay in a ball sobbing.

Eloise stalked back on stage and dragged Skylar back to the couch. She propped her up on the floor. She stared at her sobbing enemy with a pleasure that went beyond lust. ‘This is why I was made,’ she thought to herself. ‘To destroy Skylar.’

“My tummy hurts.” Skylar sobbed, reaching out for Trent.

Eloise crouched drown and grabbed Skylar by the chin, forcing her to look forward. “The funniest thing is, even if you were right, even if I could love you, it means you’re the problem. It means that no one could ever love you, and no one ever will.” She then took the tiara off of her head, and placed it on Skylar’s. “Now smile for the camera’s Princess. We’re live!”

——-

“I can’t watch this.” Cleopatra got out of her chair. She brushed past the murmuring and concerned fans.

“Why not?” For Marie this was WrestleMania!

All Cleopatra could do was shake her head and leave. “Because she’s not evil, she’s sick.”

——-

Randy could hear Boudica’s teeth creaking. Her armrests were groaning as she squeezed them in her hands. “Boudica calm down. Remember who that is. Just hold out until the audience Q&A.”

“I can’t.” She whispered. Her eyes were pinpricks floating in a sea of bloody white. “She can’t treat her like that…”

Trent smiled as the camera caught the last bits of Eloise’s ****. “Looks like the energy between these two was just too much to handle folks. A cat fight broke out we got back. Eloise can you share with…”

“You can’t fuckin’ treat her like that!” Boudica howled, like a lizard she was crawling over heads and seats towards the front row, looking more like a wolf that Helen ever had.

Eloise cackled. She didn’t even have to rig the game, this moron came up on her own.

Act surprised.

“Trent you’ve got a rowdy crowd tonight.”

Trent sat up in his chair. “That’s not one of ours…”

“Oh no.” Skylar craned her head back miserably.

Boudica climbed up on stage, the leather hot pants she was wearing gave the audience a wonderful view. “You can’t treat her like that, you black haired witch!”

Eloise thought she was going to die! She’d never experienced such pleasure! Everything was going perfectly! “You look familiar.” Gasp. “Hey, you’re…Oww Oww hey let me go, ow hey you can’t touch a host!”

Boudica had snatched Eloise by her dress and had her hand reared back. “I finally understand how you can treat us the way you do. Because your world is cunts the whole way down!”

“Let me go.” Eloise tried to break out of Boudica’s grasp, but who was she kidding?

Boudica cackled. “Ain’t you gonna magic me off. Oh that’s right, yet not the host!”

“But I am.” Trent winked at the camera, and Boudica froze in place. He tapped his chin In thought. “Skylar… that’s not a good look.”

Skylar said nothing, all she could think about was whether the producers would give her a last wish or not. Everyone in colorado was getting wiped, and shipped off to other shows. Her crew, her family now at the mercy of host roulette. She didn't much care what would happen to her. If anything oblivion would be a vacation from her awful mind, but it was all the people she was disappointing that filled her with regret. The audience, the unfinished harem, Satan, her crew, and Skylar most of all. Poor girl... they were so close.

"Let her go Trent!" Out from the audience scurred another rat. This one was fit, and had a dick like a horse. No one could see it, but he cared himself with the confidence of a horse schlonged god. He jumped on stage too, but his target was Trent.

"Looks like we have another surprise guest!" Trent clapped his hands and the audience followed. "Randy here's been with Harem Hotel since Until **** Do Us Party, he's been a loyal aid to Skylar all this time."

"I'm not here for an interview." Randy puffed out his chest, challenging the alpha of the studio, demanding he step down. "Let her go."

Trent's eyes were sparkling. "Now his years of service are at an end as he gives it all up, and brings a human into the studio. Now that's a storyline." Trent looked over to Skylar. "Did you know about this?"

Skylar shook her head. "He was working for Eloise all along." It was dawning on her now. How else would he know to come here?

"I'm not working for anyone." Randy shoved away a bouncer who was trying to wave him off stage.

"Of course not." Trent looked to Boudica. "Then we all know what that means folks. What could have caused a loyal cast member to abandon his post, and run off with a human? It's got to be love." Trent chuckled. "You know this is exactly what caused Yuki to rid herself of her staff entirely."

"It wasn't love." Randy smiled, this is what he'd been seeking his whole life. He was out from under the hosts. Free of fear, or obedience, or even admiration. He was more powerful than they'd ever be, because he now understood something they never could. He curled his hand into a fist, and sent it into Trent's jaw. It was a rugged and broad as it was fragile. The host of hosts, crumpled to the ground. "It was respect."

Boudica could move once more and swung at empty space. Eloise had crawled away. She was now shaking Trent, trying to rouse him. "Come one, give me some power. Come on, come on. I'll make them regret this."

It was now or never, and Randy had learned from his queen that the answer was always, now!

He spun around and commanded a cameras to him. "Ladies and gentlemen, your regularly scheduled smut has been interrupted for a world first. Boudica Queen of The Iceni and contestant on Living in Sin, is here to talk with us about her experiences on the show. Making her the first human we’ve ever had on. Let's give a warm Hotel Talk welcome."

The audience dutifully applauded and cheered for the redhead. If nothing else this was good television.

Boudica found herself shrinking in the spotlights. She was supposed to be dead three steps ago. Randy had actually come through, actually gotten her in front of these people, he had done everything. And now whether this whole mission was a success or disaster was up to her.

She looked to him and shook her head. “I can’t do it… I don’t know what to say.”

“Just let them hear you. These people on this network only get away with their lies and they’re evil because their viewers don’t get anything else. Just let them hear the truth."

"I'm not very smart." She said aloud, letting her rage and ego wash away. The audience roared in appreciation of that naked candor. "But it seems pretty obvious to me what The Producer's offer you. It's an enticing vision, that some day someone will come along, and make the people in your life, or in your fantasies want you. Even if it's against your will because you get the be the good guy in that situation, and still get all the tail you want." She smiled and shook her head.

"I don't know who these producers are, but I know what their promise to you is. You are always going to be pushed down, cheated, tricked, robbed, lied to, and taken as the chumps and marks you are, but in exchange for your acquiescence in what they’re doing to you, they'll restore to you a set of victims which you yourself can treat viley, upon whom you can inflict pain, and suffering, and on whom you can cast your fears and anger."

"Society took that away from you, with their rules about what jokes you could tell, and what C words you were allowed to use, and which people you had to allow a place in line, or a seat at the table. They changed the rules and that took away the only means you had of not being at the very bottom of everything. It's not really dignity, but it's better than the indignity others have, and you used to be allowed to **** the others to swallow it. Society took that away, making you and all of us Cunts one and the same. They took away the only thing that made your miserable subordination endurable, the privilege of making our subordination even less endurable."

"And worse of all, they took away your right to lie to yourself about not being a despicable person."

"The Producers are still going to step all over you, they are still going to fleece you to the point of flensing off your very flesh, but they are going to give back the one thing you had. They will give you back the lie you want to tell about yourself. They will give you back your hate and your fear. They give you back the privilege of being in your own small way, vile."

Skylar groaned, and knocked her head back. “I should have let Azure win the pitch…”

Boudica shrugged. “I’m not offering you anything. Just the chance to stop being a cunt. We are human beings, and we have souls. I know this because mine got sent to hell. We have internal lives just as complex as yours, if you can believe it. I know that’s scary, I know that’s why you like reducing us to labels like bimbo, or slut. But we’re real, and we’re under attack. It’s a fight and it doesn’t cost you anything to join our side. Just change the channel, and stop being cunts.”

That was all she had to say. The c word was actually Celt. A speech writer had written that baby up for her during the Celtic genocide, it still fit though. Oppression and hatred never really change. It’s just important to remember in times when they are ascendant that they are not absolute. Slavery was not ended because Lincoln said so. It was a movement lifetimes long.

There was the absolute insanity of the Roman Empire under Nero. And there was Boudica.

“Don’t touch that dial.” Trent got to his feet. Eloise was nowhere to be seen. He shoved past Randy and stumbled to Boudica. “It’s not very professional to criticize the network you on.” His jaw hung a bit loose on one side and drool was pooling at his lip. “You got your performance Boudica!” He grabbed her by the button-up she was wearing and threw her into Eloise’s chair. “Now it’s time for the interview.”

Skylar winced and started getting up. “Leave her alone Trent, she’s mine.”

“Shut up bitch.” She shoved Skylar back down and jumped to into his seat. “I’d say your career is measured in the time it takes for your producer to put on a tie. So I’m going to jump to the head of the line and claim this one as my own.”

“Fuck you!” Randy went to swing at Trent again, but all his big energy was spent. The bouncers now had him grabbed, and on the ground.

Trent was manic, trying his best to recover his persona as host, but the energy wasn’t there he was trying too hard.

“Okay folks! Haha that’s why we love live television. We’re going to keep this energy rolling by playing one of my favorite games…”

Transformation Lightning Round!

“The rules are simple, I’m going to give you a transformation. You’re got to tell me how it feels, fast as you can. Then we’re going to keep doing that until you’re drooling pile of tits, sound fun?”

Boudica smiled, and crossed her legs. She brought out her phone and began to scroll through it. “Sounds fun to me.”

Trent gave an uncontrolled honking laugh. “She really is a handful isn’t she Skylar. Well that’s alright, isn’t folks? Who doesn’t like a nice handful?” He held his hands out to grope a pair of imaginary breasts and gave another drooling laugh“Okay! Let’s do this Boudica, our champion, survived 74 transformations before her mind broke, but I’m sure you can double that! Go!”

He winked at her, and nothing happened.

He giggled and looked at the camera. “This usually doesn’t happen to me.” He winked again, and still nothing.

Boudica looked up from her phone. “Oh, didn’t you see?” She pointed towards a production screen. “We’re on a hold.”

Indeed the screen the audience was looking at now said. “Who should be punished, Boudica or Trent?”

“What?” Trent knocked his own chair over. His throne! "Punish me? On my fucking show? They're holding a poll for me, on my own fucking show? They can’t touch me!” He threw his arms out. “I’m the host of hosts! I am Harem Hotel.”

Boudica was rock fucking hard. “Think they’ll give me the job when I win?”

Boudica’s wrath had met its match in this man. He was a raging frothing beast. This asshole who has everything losing his mind at the thought he could be voted out of power. For him democracy is a shield to hide behind as he hurts his enemies, but the moment it’s turned against him it’s illegitimate and rigged. But Boudica was not raging, she wasn’t even mad. She’d never been more at peace. He message was out, she was possibly the biggest agent of chaos the universe had ever seen. She was happy.

Rome was burning.

“You cunt. You fucking cunt! You replace me? You cunt! No one can replace me! There's no one like me! You cunt. You cunt!” He stalked over to her, his famous biceps bulging. “I don’t need magic to transform you from a living fucking cunt to a dead one!”

Finally, Boudica looked up from her phone, she looked at him with two thousand years of bloodshed passing before her eyes. “It’d be wiser for you to take your chances with the audience. They’re still making up their minds about you.” Trent’s blood ran cold. “I’ve already decided that I’ll kill you.”

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With this chapter, I officially declare: