Breeding Day (Part 3: Fantastic Friends)

There was nowhere left to run for Kazuma. He’d done more exercise in the morning than he was even slightly used to, and now was all out of mana to keep his lurk skill active. The builders had chased him all over town, and now he’d ended up near the theatre exhausted and winded.

And easily catchable.

“Gert herm!” Gary yelled, easily grabbing Kazuma’s leg and lifting the boy far above his head. Kicking and screaming upside down, not doing even the most minimal of damage to the burly builder. “Yer cermin wit’ me te breerd mer werf!”

“LET ME GO!” Kazuma yelled, getting thrown over Gary’s back like a caveman’s pelt, easily carried away towards the guild once more. He saw a similarly burly adventurer pass by, one that he kind of recognised and quickly shouted out, “HELP! THESE GUYS WANT ME TO FUCK THEIR WIVES!”

“Oh? Is that so?” The strong jawed adventurer asked with an intimidating aura. Gary and Richard took pause, perhaps expecting a fight… but then the man with a mohawk gave Kazuma a thumbs up, “Sounds like the start of an amazing adventure! Nice one, my man!”

“YOU’RE NO HELP!” Kazuma wailed, flipping off the thumbs up man as he was dragged away once more.

He could only feel dread at what was to come. And also a lot of excitement because, you know, sex. But fear of the lifetime in jail he would undoubtedly face. But also a lot of excitement because, again, sex. But then there was the endless torment at the pain he’d be causing for Darkness and her father. But also a lot of excitement because, you guessed it, sex. Not to mention all the new life he’d be creating in the world, so many kids with their daddy in prison…

But all that sex though…

“Sterp gertterng a’ berner ern me’ sherlder. Shave it fer when ya stert ferking mah werf.”

"Oi, Kazuma," said Richard, looking at Gary's shoulder where Kazuma resided, "Mind if I ask you some questions? About your dad?"

That threw Kazuma for a loop, "Uh, what? Why about him?"

"Well you know." Richard shrugged, yawning and scratching his face as the three trundled along to the guild, "If by chance you DO get my wife pregonate, I wanted to know if the kid has a chance."

"...the hell's that supposed to mean."

"Er thernk yer kner whert ert mearns." Gary replied first, bumping the smaller man on his shoulder easily, "Yer scrawny, weark, berd persture,"

"Not to mention a pervert who steals panties." Agreed Richard, "We was just wondering if your dad was, ya know, any better. Otherwise you should probably hang up your Harem Knight badge, know what I mean? After we take your money, of course."

His fists slammed down on Gary's unmoving back in teary frustration, "Gah! Fuck both of you! HELLLLLLLLPPPPP!!!!"

“KAZUMA!” A voice suddenly yelled out, causing the two builders to turn. It was too late for them, though. As soon as they had seen the source of the yell they were being blasted away by her magical keyboard.

Gary and Richard landed in a pile across the street, breaking an old gazebo with their bulk as Kazuma landed safely on his face where they had been standing.

Still exhausted and mentally traumatised so many times in the last hour, Kazuma only had time to look up and see his three saviours before his world began to fade away into darkness.

“Kazuma?! Are you hurt?!”

“Who were those guys **** you?!”

“Stay with us! We’ll take you back home!”

“No… t-take me to X-Xara… take me to the s-succubus café…”

Lia, Cielo, and Erika all stood around him worrying about the boy. The three Axel Hearts were just stunned after leaving the theatre to find their producer like this… and even more stunned that he said that.

“Wait, Axel Town has a what café?”

Vanir had gone back to his shop for a break from all the lovely negativity. He feared he’d lose his svelte physique if he gorged himself any longer! Kazuma was a lovely bevy of worry, and now that he’d cured the blonde one of loneliness he could feast on her own self doubts too! It was certainly turning out to be a wonderful day for Vanir.

“You sure seem happy, boss.” Said Lilith as Vanir entered his shop, the pink haired succubus he’d hired was currently dusting on the top shelf, “Breeding Day going well?”

The demonic man chuckled, “For Moi? Verily.” He nodded while striding to the back of the store, though as he did a more business-like look began to spread over his masked face, “Moi does need to check on something though.”

Lilith quickly followed him, ignoring the “stay out” signs easily to enter the backroom with him. Behind a large green sheet, Vanir unveiled the one magic item that Darkness definitely forgot about: The Magic Blackboard.

Used on the Harem Knight trials that Aqua and Kazuma had duelled in, Vanir had secretly snuck into the mansion and “liberated” the useful piece of kit for his own purposes. Being forgotten would be a terrible fate for an actually useful item like this. An omniscient blackboard with the ability to give information in real time was perhaps the greatest item that Darkness had inadvertently created, at least in Vanir’s eyes anyway.

Ignoring the presence of the pinknette, Vanir scribbled some words with chalk on the board.

“How many women are impregnated with Satou Kazuma’s seed?”

A number appeared underneath the question.

“Holy shit!” Lilith exclaimed, “King Kazuma’s been busy!”

Vanir nodded in thought, but still wrote another question beside that.

“How much debt does that put him in?”

Once more, a number appeared underneath the question.

“Oh my gods!” Lilith once more gawped, reeling at the huge size of Eris that was apparently putting him in, “What’s going to-”

“It’s not enough.”

Lilith snapped around to Vanir, “It isn’t?!”

Vanir’s serious face frowned, turning on his heel and strolling out the room as quickly as he entered it, “Moi needs the boy to follow through with this silly Breeding Day…” He mumbled before exiting the shop and leaving Lilith alone again.

“...huh.” She said while tapping her chin in wonderment and confusion. After a few seconds she shrugged, “Eh, King Kazuma is crafty, I'm sure he'll find a way out of this one. Besides, so long as I get paid, it's none of my business.”

Lilith then went back to the blackboard to ask it some questions about her horoscope.

“And thus ends my tale of woe - ow!” Kazuma sighed. The lovely thigh pillow his Queen Succubus wife was providing was an excellent way to destress after a long day of heavy burdens. Xara knew it, stroking her husband’s hair back with her large hands and only occasionally crushing his head accidentally. “My life is about to become Baby Palooza, and not Babe City like I’d always dreamed of… I didn’t even get to MAKE most of them! Isn’t that unfair?!”

“I know, I know… back from **** and now into debt. Life certainly has it out for you, dear husband.” Xara cooed sympathetically while Kazuma nodded tearfully.

"I don't even know HOW the house got destroyed!"

Both Sylvia and Xara both snapped and said, "Neither do we." In a way that Kazuma had definitely experienced before but was quickly stroked out of his suspicions.

"Mmm... thank you-ow..." He cooed under her slightly spiky touch, "This really is a hard existence I suffer through sometimes..."

“I dunno, seems like you're enjoying yourself a bunch…”

Xara’s eyebrow raised towards someone she’d never really seen before, but who had brought Kazuma here. Three women, currently sitting on her footrest and claiming to be friends of his, had safely transported him here after his life had been threatened by multiple annoyed builders. Xara was vaguely familiar with them, the famous “Axel Hearts” band that had taken the area by storm in the last year. One of their posters still hung up on the wall near her subject's bed area:

The succubae were quite enamoured by their songs and sometimes played them while working, which led to many dreams about the three and a lot of increased revenue for her. Meeting them wasn’t anything special for the queen though, Xara was mostly just impressed by Kazuma who was apparently their producer. Yet another amazing feat by her husband.

They weren’t the only ones in the room. After being brought to her café, Xara, Sylvia, Luminara, Saffron, and a few succubae were all hiding out in the arena under the café. Still a little bit busted up from the angel attack but sturdy enough to let Xara sit in her throne with Kazuma curled up happily. They had been about to leave for Breeding Day before the three idols had appeared with a traumatised Kazuma begging to be taken to Xara, mostly out of protection from the world.

Erika had been the one to make the comment, and Lia, the leader of the band, gave her a stern look. “Sorry, Queen Xara, we don’t mean to intrude.”

“Nonsense. Any friend of my husband’s is a friend of mine. Even rude ones.”

The girls were still in awe about that fact, “Kazuma got married to a queen… he really got busy when we were away.” said Cielo.

“I think he got to some of the other succubae as well.” added Erika.

“Don’t forget Darkness, he told us they were a thing now.”

“How many others do you think he-?”

“Hey! You’re supposed to pity me! Don't gossip about me!” Kazuma barked from his pillow, “Don’t you know I’m about to go to prison for life?!”

Sylvia stood up from her seat, “We won’t let that happen, Kazuma!” She declared, “I can’t have my saviour be locked away forever by some corrupted government!”

Luminara tapped her chin from her perch, "Did you even get that many girls pregnant? What if it didn't stick?"

"Unfortunately for him, I sometimes feel pregnant just looking at his lovely thick cum. No way his soldiers don't have a super high hit ratio on humans," chuckled Xara, “Why don’t you just run away from the law, Kazuma? Cast away your humanity to become the incubus king I know you can be.”

Kazuma put a hand up to the queen dramatically, “Don’t try to change me, baby. Though running away isn’t the worst plan…”

“We shall follow wherever you take us, my love!” Sylvia had rushed over for a quick protective hug, reaching over Xara’s throne to get a bit of skinship from him while the Axel Hearts once more looked on in awe.

Less enthusiastic was Luminara, the red snake woman who was trying her hardest to get on board with a placid fist pump, “Y-yeah! To the ends of the earth! Even if it means giving away our citizenship… that we just got… and I won’t be able to start my new business, The Snakery Bakery… w-we’ll still follow you…!”

“Great! Let’s start packing then!” The man clapped his hands.

“Kazuma!” Lia hissed angrily.

He blew air out his mouth like a deflating balloon, “Fine, fine. I was kidding anyway, Lumi. Darkness would never let me live it down, let alone go through with it,” He grumbled, though it was a less bitter pill seeing the relieved smile of the red snake lady. “No one’s going to give up their chance at a better life because of me. There’s gotta be a better way to deal with this shit…”

After thinking for about three seconds, Kazuma laid face down into Xara’s creamy thighs. “Nw dof amnyone haf amny way ffor mme tof mnake mnoney?!”

The succubus queen just let him muffle talk into her leg with a smile, “I’ll raise the costs of the café, but it will be a drop in the bucket considering the debt you face.”

“Oh, I know! We could put on a fashion show!” Saffron announced, proudly throwing flowers around the arena, “With the Axel Hearts by our side, it’s sure to be a success! Everyone will come for miles to see our harem’s style!”

“That’s your suggestion for everything,” Sylvia sighed before turning to herself to Kazuma and raising a brown tentacle to him. “You could always let me make you infertile? That’d solve your problems,” The chimaera suggested casually. Kazuma’s fearful recoil afterwards was enough of a response but he still hissed out a sharp, “NEVER!” while grabbing his dick protectively.

Sylvia just sighed, placing her face in her hand with a small pout, “You guys never let me modify your bodies…”

“Honey, sweetie, dearest…body modifications won’t solve ALL the world’s problems,” Xara softly informed the chimera, gently rubbing her back with one of her wings. Sylvia just pouted harder. The succubus queen just found it adorable.

“Why don’t you just fuck everyone?” Said the… footstool that the Axel Hearts were sitting on. They quickly jumped up and looked very confused, “Ah, dang it!” It said before unveiling the grey sheet and revealing itself to be naked Divane, kneeling on her hands and knees. “Was I a good footrest for you, Mistress Xara?!”

“No one asked you to do that.” replied Xara, already annoyed by her new pet. “But she does raise a fair point, Kazuma. Your rejection of Syvlia’s idea, while perfectly understandable, is a little curious, don’t you think?” Xara’s smile spoke volumes of her understanding. Ignoring Sylvia’s slumping shoulders, the boy she had fallen for was sweating rather a lot while trying to think of an argument, “Unless I’m mistaken, she could always turn your boys back on AFTER your little Breeding Day with no one any the wiser that you’d tricked them into sex.”

His grumbles and fumbles also spoke volumes of where his heart was at, “Yeah, well, I GUESS but… you know…”

Before he could make any actual point, Kazuma was wrapped up in a jet black wing and dragged forwards to Xara’s larger than life embrace. His lower half nestling inside her wide cleavage while he wrapped the top half of himself around her smiling face. “Methinks the King doth protest too much. The ultimate pervert is not looking for a way to NOT breed the town. He’s looking for an excuse to do it.”

“Yes! Fine! You figured it out! I’m a pervert!” Kazuma yelled while jumping from her legs to stand by himself. “Kazutrash, Kazuperv, a walking pile of human feces, whatever words you want to describe me is probably true!” His movements were erratic and his arms flailed above him, “I like the idea of the whole town being pregnant with my kids! Is that SO EVIL!?”

The room fell silent, the only one still making sounds was a “Gawd no…” from Divane who was quietly masturbating to herself.

“Ugh, of course she’d be the one to answer…” He mumbled, slapping his own face in annoyance. Then bouncing back to look at the Axel Hearts with a large suspicious eye, “You three have been rather quiet. I’d have thought you’d have some choice words to get me to not be a big creep who loves sex.”

The three looked at each other with worry, then went back to Kazuma. “Uhm… I think that would be a little… hypocritical of us.” Lia admitted, scratching her neck with a growing blush.

“Eh?” Kazuma asked, boner suddenly awake again after a bit of a money coma.

Erika gulped with the same nervous energy, “Hehe… w-we also have a bit of an announcement we wanted to make to you, K-Kazuma…”

“Oh man, oh boy, oh hell yes!” The boy’s excitement was growing.

“W-we’re part of the Axis Cult!” Cielo announced, ripping the bandaid as quickly as Kazuma’s boner deflated.

The room was once more silent. Kazuma’s eyes practically bulged out of his head.

“Which also means we… s-saw you and Aqua together.” Lia added, mostly to fill the silence, “And it inspired us, to, well, um, you know, um, m-me and C-Cielo, um, then Erika, but not straight away… not straight at all I guess, hehe? Oh god…” Her face went into her hands and Cielo quickly began to console her.

Kazuma stayed completely perfectly still.

“I’m just going to add this to the pile.” A thunk sound landed on the ground as three Kazuma dildos dropped in front of him. “I just wanted to say you have a really cute penis, Kazuma! Not as cute as me, of course. And Cielo and Lia are cuter too, since we’re all girlfriends now. But still, your dick gets my approval!” The pinknette beamed with pride.

Cielo just quietly threw a heal spell at Kazuma, worrying that his heart had stopped.

“My, my~ Impregnating the idols you produce? Aren’t you a devilish one.” Xara giggled, placing her large hand across Kazuma’s shoulder to try and kick him back into gear. “I believe they’re expecting an answer, dear.”

“This… this really is happening everywhere, isn’t it?” He babbled, falling to his knees and staring a thousand yards past yet also directly at the dildos. “My dick has become the mascot of the Axis Cult." He slammed his head and then his fist into the ground, "Everyone's going to be pregnant with MY babies, and it wasn't even ME who got to do it! Even if I chop my dick off now it won't stop! The Axis cultists aren't gonna stop until everyone’s pregnant!” The nightmare just kept piling on in Kazuma's mind, "Dammit! I just wanted to have fun at Breeding Day! I just wanted to walk into town and fuck everyone who WANTED to fuck me! But now they don't even need me?! They just want my cum and money! GAHHH!" His anger seemed to seep out of him, leaving the dried up husk of a man slumping back onto his knees. "Maybe I should just quit being a Harem Knight... I'm no hero, just what everyone thinks I am, a filthy degenerate perv..."

The room went quiet again, not sure how to answer him. Though Divane had made it over to Saffron and the pair were bonding over their shared love of their reflections.

“I-is that so wrong, though?”

Everyone looked over at the short haired brunette idol, Cielo, who fidgeted with her clothes a bit before once more getting the courage to speak again.

“L-lots of people want to have kids with Harem Knights because they just want to make the world a better place. They believe in the true and honest heart of a champion, someone like you, Kazuma.”

He just clicked his tongue, clearly upset about something deeper, “Have you not been paying attention? I’m just a nobody, a NEET, someone-”

“Who likes sex,” Cielo finished for him, slowly pacing closer to the boy still on his knees, “I wish you wouldn’t be so negative about yourself. It isn’t evil to like the act of making babies for your country.”

The huffy boy wasn’t having it, instead just folding his arms and staying quiet.

“...you should remember I’m a noble too, but with my fear of men I always thought that the Harem Knight stuff was totally out of my reach. I wanted to help the kingdom, but if I ever even touch a man-”

“You punch them through the nearest wall?”

She frowned for a second at Kazuma before finishing her sentence, “Yes, thank you. My dad is a bit of a hardass, and he raised me to think sex was an evil thing done by perverts. But I know that isn’t true, logically. Sex is a natural, beautiful, wonderful thing! Especially when done with the right people,” Cielo turned to smile at Lia and Erika, who both beamed right back at her. “And I don’t think you’re evil for liking it. You’re a brave man who works hard to make everyone around him happy, even if it looks selfish from the outside. I think you really do make a positive influence on the people around you…”

He seemed genuinely touched by the idol’s words, completely at a loss for them himself, just staring at the girl with his mouth open as she joined him on the floor.

“...much more than you realise.”

In a move no one was expecting, Cielo leaned forwards and hugged Kazuma.

“GAH! I’M SORRY! DON’T-! …don’t…” He blinked, only feeling Cielo hug him tighter, “W-what? Cielo! You’re-!”

“I trust you, Kazuma.” She said with a smile, not reeling to strike him into next week, “I think your dildo may have helped, or maybe it was joining Aqua’s religion, but every time I thought about hugging you, my mind didn’t want to kill you for the thought alone. I just wanted to actually hug you.” She admitted, squeezing him a little tighter before letting go, “You can be my knight too, and have my bursary for your harem. It won’t be enough to settle your debt, but it might help a little for how much you helped me.”

“Oh. Wow… th-thanks Cielo…” He stared in awe. The other two Axel Hearts joined their girlfriend on their knees, going shoulder to shoulder.

“We trust you too, Kazuma,” said Erika, “And it looks like we're totes not the only ones!"

It was then that the boy on his knees felt multiple objects touch his back. A wing tip, a tentacle, a tail, even a vine, all there to support him if he needed it. Kazuma definitely felt the sting of tears well up when he looked back to see all the girls he'd helped with Darkness. Maybe it wasn't always for the most noble intentions but they each appreciated him and wanted to be there for him too.

"D-damn... way to make a guy feel cared for..." He mumbled, trying to suck the tears back in with some lame dialogue, "I won't quit. Now I just have to get the courage to actually go do Breeding Day..."

Lia the leader decided it was her turn to pep up the boy, "You know, Kazuma. There was something you told me when I was about to go up on stage for the first time, and I was freaking out just like you are now. I believe it was something like: ‘if you don’t want to do it, then there’s no shame in walking out. But I think the reason you haven’t already is because you know you can do it too’.”

He wiped some of the tears away with his sleeve, “W-what the hell? That doesn’t sound like me at all.”

“Well, you were also banking on us to do well in the competition or you’d lose a bunch of money,” Lia added, making the two chuckle at the more average Kazuma response. “But that still doesn’t take away from what you said,” She said while standing up, with the other two Axel Hearts quickly joining her. “Satou Kazuma… do you really want to run away?”

He looked around sheepishly, “I mean, not really…”

“That’s right! The Kazuma I know wouldn’t leave, he’s way too dependable for that!” Cielo beamed.

“That’s kind of you, but-”

Erika chuckled, “Yeah. The Kazuma I know would never let his dildos have all the fun, and he definitely wouldn’t leave if there was a crowd of people begging to have sex with him!”

“True, however-”

“That’s right.” Lia nodded, “He’d go out there, have as much fun as he possibly could, then figure out tomorrow how to make enough money to support all his new kids.”

“ALRIGHT, FINE!” Kazuma yelled, standing to his feet, “If you all insist SO MUCH that I need to go fuck everyone, then I’ll do it! But you all better be prepared to work your fingers to the bone to help support this, got it?!”

“Yes, producer!” The Axel Hearts saluted as Kazuma swirled around to the others.

"Same with you! If I go impregnate everyone then I'm going to be pulling every hair-brained, scumbag, sleazy trick in the book to get our income up. Y'all better be prepared for the worst!"

"I'll follow your command, my love." Sylvia bowed, with Luminara and Saffron following suit.

Xara was much more giggly in her throne, "Don't promise me a good time if you can't follow through, King Kazuma~"

With a nod of confirmation, Kazuma blew a large amount of air through his nostrils and began to stomp away out the building. As soon as he reached the top, Vanir suddenly appeared, bursting down the door in grand fashion like he'd done all day.

"Oh, Harem Knight! Your blonde beau with too much power is in trouble! All of the guild is horny for thee, and chanting your name! You must return to-"

Kazuma just bumped his way past the lanky demon, "Save it, dickhead. I already had the pep talk, and I'm still pissed off at you." He huffed, exiting the building and heading off as Vanir shrugged.

"Moi's work here is done then. Hmmhmmm~" He hummed while casually strolling away.

Meanwhile the women who Kazuma had left in the building while leaving were thanking the Axel Hearts, “Hmhm, I can see why he likes you three.” Sylvia chuckled.

As they all watched him go, Xara added, “Thank you for that. His internal aura was at war, caught between desires and needs.”

“That’s our Kazuma!” Erika laughed, “Seeing him get bent out of shape like that was so not cute… oh yeah! We should get going too! Luna asked us to perform for Breeding Day!”

Luminara slithered up and began linking arms with Erika who happily accepted the happy-to-be-meeting-an-idol snake girl, "Also Chiana and the others are there already. I don't want them to get all the good stuff! Plus... if what that guy said was true then Lady Darkness may be in actual trouble."

Sylvia stood up, ready to state their intentions, but it was Saffron who stole the thunder, “We all need to get going. The star of the show is once more ready and Breeding Day awaits!” The dryad pointed to the exit before dramatically leaving with everyone else following behind.