To The Farthest Corners

Mid-run, John equipped and twisted the rings for Lerianna and Orria. Quick bursts of information shot across both lines of the connection, first a barked warning from John about dangers and a request to return to the house immediately – then dual confirmations, still echoing over each other in his mind as he ended the connection. It didn’t take much longer than that for them to barrel through the front door of the house, the hinges barely holding as John only had the handle halfway turned before his shoulder **** the door open with full strength.

Between his Barriers and the struggles of life in the old world, John had been through countless battles. His encounters with the Cabal and the Albidians had shown him atrocities; his relationships with Moira, Kim, and Adantia had taught him the absolute despair that the world could inflict on seemingly optimistic souls.

None of that seemed to matter in the moment that he burst into his own home, throwing the front door wide with blade in hand. Because nothing had prepared him to expect what he saw within.

Five kittens danced around the perimeter of the shared living area, bouncing with a mixture of ferocity and uncertainty, their lithe bodies torn between action and indecisiveness. The sound of their hisses and furious mewls filled the air… but none so loud as Magnus’ screams, so far from the confident and unruly yowls he normally let out.

Magnus floated in the middle of the room, levitated and held in place by none other than Vallya. The blonde Kitsune had an angry look on her face, as she twisted glowing fingers around, causing Magnus to spin in place. John didn’t know exactly what she was doing to him, but the panicked cries from his son were enough for him to know it was nothing good.

“Vallya! Get away from my son!”

John charged into the room barely ahead of Maera and Mithra, whose hisses and snarls filled the air just behind him. Rage flowed through his veins, the Shard pulsed in his chest, and if it weren’t for the fact his target was one of his own creations and lovers, John’s blade would’ve struck as true as Maera and Mithra’s bared fangs. Instead, he barreled forward with his free hand outstretched, palm slamming into Vallya’s chest with enough **** to break her stance, sending her staggering into the nearby wall with a loud thud. Her spell broke as she was hit, allowing Magnus to finally fall toward the floor, his pained screams turning into sobbing wails.

“Ah, J-John! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t understand why-”

Vallya’s words died in her throat, panicked and frightened eyes glancing between John and Magnus, her lips still moving but no further sounds coming out of them. John heard the sounds of feet skittering across the floor behind him as Maera and Mithra ran to the crying boy, but John didn’t take his eyes off Vallya. He had followed her to the wall and was now holding her there, pinning her by one shoulder with his left hand, blade still clutched in his right.

“What the fuck were you doing, Vallya? What the hell has gotten into you?!” John roared, face twisted with parental fury.

“I don’t… I don’t know,” Vallya whispered, a look not of fear but horror crossing her face. John’s eyebrow twitched at the expression she made; she was looking somewhere beyond him, paying no mind to his restraint or the blade in his hand. “I didn’t mean to do this, I just wanted to make him understand-”

“Bullshit,” John responded, not letting up in the least. Vallya was a cunning woman with the power of illusions on her side, something John was keenly cognizant of and on the watch for using his new Observe passive, along with a general alertness. “You don’t do something like that without having a reason. You don’t hurt a fucking child-”

“Father, the children.”

Sophia’s voice was tense, but nothing like the way her fingers gripped John’s shoulder. It wasn’t a tenseness meant to hold him back; rather, her body seemed to be nearly vibrating with the same angry energy as John’s was, though surprisingly it was Sophia that was managing a slightly more restrained tone.

John glanced behind himself, to where the kittens were now all frantically huddling around their mother and aunt. Most of them just looked frightened, but… Magnus looked terrified, a look that John had never seen on the boy before. Midoriya looked somehow worse, though John couldn’t say why. He was crying and hugging his brother furiously, as if he thought Magnus were going to be torn away. John’s eyes flicked briefly to the upper level as he saw a slight movement – there, he saw Farrah, standing against the railing with tears running down her face, hands clutched over her face. She was shaking, clearly leaning on the railing for support, and her face was slightly pale. John did his best to give her a reassuring nod before returning his attention to the matter at hand.

“Sophia, Shishun, take her outside, make sure she doesn’t leave,” John ordered. “Vallya, you will wait outside until I come to deal with you.”

“...Yes, Master,” Vallya said, shakily steadying herself as John took his hand off her at last. She gave him a long look, deep pools of emotion reflecting in her eyes… but she said nothing more as she slowly walked across the room. She took her time to go the long way, passing as far from the kittens as possible. Most of them were busy huddling behind the older Nekos, only casting glances her way… but nestled between Maera and Mithra, Magnus couldn’t even raise his head.

John waited until Vallya left the room entirely flanked on both sides by Shishun and Sophia, the door closing with undue haste after being flicked by the tip of Shishun’s slithering tail. John took a deep breath to steady himself, using every bit of self-control he had to try to tame the fires of rage. The Shard in his chest throbbed and ached, thoughts of unfulfilled vengeance echoing through his mind, but as John walked over to his family and knelt before the frightened Nekos, there was only concern in his voice.

“Magnus, are you okay? Do you need me to heal anything she did to you?” John asked, mind immediately filled with the possible injuries Vallya could inflict, even without direct bloodshed.

“N-no, I’m fine… please, Papa… no magic,” Magnus whispered, turning his head only enough to show John one frenzied eye, still twitching with panic even though his head was nuzzled into Mithra’s lap and her arms were wrapped around him tightly.

John took a long pause, breath caught in his throat and words failing him. What could he say that would undo the level of trauma that something like this must have inflicted on someone Magnus’ age?

“Magnus, I’m sorry that this happened. I’m so sorry for the pain that you’ve felt. But I swear to you, you are safe now. Whatever you want to do, whatever time you need, whatever support you crave, I will provide it for you. You don’t need to say anything right now. Just know that we’re all here for you, and I swear, we will protect you.”

Magnus nodded, still curled up in his mother’s lap. Maera twitched anxiously, unsure of what to do, though she was doing her best to cuddle and shelter the other kittens.

“Papa… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Magnus said, a half-whisper. “Please don’t be mad. Don’t hurt me.”

“Magnus, you don’t need to be sorry. Whatever Vallya was doing isn’t your fault, she was wrong to do that to you.”

“B-but if I didn’t hurt him…”

Magnus’ words quivered in his throat, and John felt the rage and sorrow ebb a bit, replaced by momentary confusion. Then he noticed that Magnus’ had shakily removed one of his hands and was pointing across the room… to where Midoriya was nervously shifting on his feet. The green-haired kitten’s face was a mask of empathy and concern, but shifted to a sudden look of guilt… particularly when John’s eyes shifted to the bruise on his cheekbone.

“Midoriya, you’re hurt too?” John asked, surprise as loud as concern in his voice. “What happened?”

“Um… I’m fine, Papa, really,” Midoriya said, looking oddly flustered. “It’s just a little bruise, it barely even-”

“I hit him.”

Magnus’s voice was muffled as he buried half his face back into Mithra’s lap, barely peeking one eye over to John. John turned his gaze back on the young Neko and Magnus flinched – John had to fight the urge to reach out to him, worrying a sudden move might make things worse.

“It’s alright, Magnus. No one here is going to hurt you. What happened while we were gone?”

“It’s my fault, Papa,” Midoriya interjected. “I… I was trying to show Mika and Miya the cool tricks that Aunty Vallya showed me how to do. I can make light and sparks come out of my hands, and I just thought they’d really think it was cool. Magnus thought I was trying to show off and say I was better than him, and we got in a fight.”

“Magnus, is this about what happened in the dungeon?” John asked, laughing and forcing a smile.

“I just… I remembered how he tried using his spells on that dog, and distracted it so it didn’t come after me anymore, and then I didn’t get to kill it. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad, I just… I thought he was making fun of me, showing off what he could do while I couldn’t. I hit him, and then before I could do anything else, Vallya was there, and she was holding me in the air, and it felt like my skin was tingling and it burned and-”

Magnus lost his words as his breathing picked up, eyes wild with fear and memories. His eyes stayed locked on John the entire time, a look of uncertainty flickering in them when it wasn’t covered up by hesitant fear.

“Papa, I’m sorry. I won’t be bad anymore. Please don’t be mad at me. Don’t… don’t hurt me.”

“Magnus, I would never do what Vallya did to you. Bullying your siblings isn’t good, especially when you hit them, but that doesn’t justify what she did. Magnus, I want you to know that when I or your mothers are around, we would never let anyone hurt you like that. Much less do it ourselves.”

“Papa… I’m sorry. I love you,” Magnus half-whispered, a hand flickering toward John for the briefest instant. John took the signal without hesitation, slowly opening his arms in a welcoming gesture.

“I love you too, Magnus. Come here and give your papa a hug.”

Magnus threw himself into John’s grasp with enough **** to knock the wind out of a lesser man, the teen Neko’s arms locking behind John’s back and pulling until Magnus’ muscles stood rigid against his skin. John didn’t waste a moment before returning the embrace with as much **** as he dared on the young boy. Magnus was hardly secured in his position before he started to wail, a long cry not of only sorrow, but relief. It was the long, drawn-out wail of a boy who finally felt at least safe enough to express some of the true depths of his despair.

By the time Magnus’ keening sobs were quieted down, the embrace of two had become a collective of many. Maera and Mithra flocked to their **** child, pulling the still-sniffling Midoriya along with them. The other kittens weren’t far behind, joining around John and Magnus in a weeping circle of emotions and comfort. Far above, color was slowly returning to Farrah’s cheeks, and though she looked far from happy a ghost of a smile was now gracing her features, and she seemed a little steadier on her feet.

Some spark of anger still burned in John, but Vallya could wait as long as she had to for her punishment, whatever that ended up being.

John’s children were more important.

By the time he freed himself from a hugging, cuddling ball of fur and emotions, John was a bit numbed to his original rage. The Shard of Bishamonten still pulsed in his chest, but it was a dull, aching throb. All he could muster when he opened the front door was a grimace as he strode across the yard.

Vallya was kneeling on the ground, facing away from the home. She was surrounded on four sides by not only Sophia and Shishun, but also Orria and Lerianna, who seemed to have made their returns quite quickly. Judging by the grim look of understanding that Lerianna and Orria gave him as he approached, John quickly ascertained that they had been informed of what happened inside.

“Vallya, I have no idea what the hell you think you were doing in there, but that is not acceptable. If you ever-”

“I-I t-think you should… you should Purify me again, Master.”

John’s words failed him as Vallya turned toward him, revealing a face streaked with the trails of tears long since dried, as well as fresher ones forging new streams across her face. Vallya’s eyes were red and her ears low, quivering with a shame that seemed deep enough to keep her pupils cast towards the dirt even as she spoke.

Despite that, John’s eyes scanned across Vallya and the area surrounding her. The wily Kitsune had a flutter of mana welling within her, a chaotic storm of energies that John’s Observe brought up no description for. But nothing seemed to branch out from that whirlwind of energy; John saw no spells with his new passive ability, whether identified or otherwise, even for a moment. But John refused to drop his guard or lessen his outrage – even what little was left of it. Not after what Vallya had done. Being unable to detect any spells did not mean that she wasn’t using them, or that she was being sincere even in mundane ways.

“If you’re trying to shock me enough to make me forget how angry I am,” John warned, “you’re not going to succeed. If you’re trying to convince me of how bad you feel so you can avoid real punishment, that’s not going to work either.”

“I’m not, I swear. I’m being serious. I don’t care what you make me into. I don’t care what I come out as. I’m not… I’m not right, John. There’s something wrong with me,” Vallya whispered, breaths coming in deep pants. “It didn’t… it didn’t take. Whatever you made me from, there’s something left. Something wrong.”

John didn’t want to ease up on her, didn’t even want to entertain her story, but the look she was giving him just then… It was the same one that Magnus had given him. Not a look of fear and terror seeking sympathy. Not even a look of someone who knew what they’d been through, trying to overcome it.

It was the look of a child scorned, someone who had been hurt so intimately that it scarred them without even understanding what had been done.

“Vallya, I’m not going to accept excuses for what you did back there. I’ve made mistakes and done things I didn’t intent when using Purify. I know I hurt Lunaya by taking away her voice, but she never took that pain out on a child like you just did.”

“I know. I’m not saying there’s something wrong with what you did, I’m saying there’s something wrong with me,” Vallya whispered, her tears still streaking across her face. “Please. I don’t… I’m tired of feeling like this.”

John paused, trying to maintain his stern look, though it was growing increasingly difficult as Vallya’s expression grew more pitiable with each passing moment. A soft breath escaped him, a moment of softness, before he hardened himself again. “Feel like what, Vallya?”

“Like… like I’m not the only one in here. Like there’s a voice inside of me that keeps wanting these terrible things to happen,” Vallya said, her voice weak and raspy. “What I said when we first met, I wasn’t lying. I’m… I think I’m supposed to be a Star Guardian. I feel such a deep attachment to everything here, to you, to your creations, to this world. But it’s like when I’m around certain people, or when I see bad things happen, there’s something else there. Something besides me. Something angry, something sadistic. Every time I see someone get hurt, or someone I think I need to protect you from, it reaches out and touches me. And every time it touches me, I feel like I lose a little bit of myself… but it never got this bad...”

“This has happened before?” John asked, brows furrowing as he glared at Vallya.

“...No. Not like this, at least,” Vallya whispered. “Something bad usually happens, but it’s always been to me. That’s why I never told you about it. I thought I could deal with… whatever is happening.”

“How convenient. So the first time you tell me about it is the first time you’d get in trouble, and until now you just suffered in silence. What are you-”

“When was the last time you saw Kiko?”

John stopped mid-sentence, the words he had prepared to half-lecture and half-prod Vallya already fading away. What she said didn’t resonate with John right away, and his wrath was slow to fade… until he really considered what she was saying.

“Kiko? I mean… Kiko was always with you, right? I just assumed-”

“You assumed I hid Kiko away. Or dismissed them, or that I just didn’t bother summoning them up. Is that right?” Vallya asked, her words only half as judgmental as her tone. “The messed up part is… that’s kind of what I thought too. I figured I did something wrong, or that I was being punished. A part of me still feels like Kiko should be here, hovering over my shoulder, squeaking and squealing about how cute and wholesome things are.”

Vallya glanced up at John, her eyes suddenly accusing as much as they were hurt.

“And no one ever wondered why. No one even commented on it. So I figured I wouldn’t either.”

A beat passed, a long pause as Vallya’s stare ate into John’s very soul. John did his best to stare back, but by the time Vallya started talking again, he was already feeling overwhelmed.

“I kept thinking Kiko would show back up. But that was foolish. Kiko was a part of me, a part of my soul. If he was still out there somewhere, I’d feel him, even just a little. And the only way he could be gone… is if that part of me is gone too. That’s what it feels like, like I’m losing who I was. Parts of me are changing, and sometimes I don’t even know what I really want anymore. I feel like a protector, but also like a vengeful spirit… until now, I could sort of do both of them. But now my mind feels like it’s telling me to hurt and protect the same people. What… what do I even do against that?”

John let the silence after her words hang for a while. John was torn in two directions – Vallya had always been a bit off. Vallya was a dangerous woman; her cunning, intellect, and her illusions most of all made her dangerous to trust. Until now she had never betrayed that trust, but… as much as John wanted to believe her about it being unintentional – if only for the sake of not causing a rift in their family – he had a hard time doing so. Even if she was telling the truth, it wasn’t as if she was claiming it was some kind of accident, or that it wouldn’t happen again. If anything, it meant the wily Kitsune was less reliable and even more unpredictable than she’d been before.

John cast his gaze across the others gathered there. Sophia and Shishun were stone-faced as ever, their expressions difficult to read. The slightest bit of a frown crossed Sophia’s face, but nothing more. Orria and Lerianna bore more readable expressions, empathy in different degrees. Orria looked sad and almost seemed to pity her, her hands half reaching out as if she were prepared to hug the despondent foxgirl. Lerianna’s face was a mask of anger – not at Vallya, though. Her eyes were cast downward, and she seemed to be sympathizing with Vallya’s words.

“Vallya, whatever you have felt, whatever internal conflicts you’ve been dealing with… that does not, it cannot excuse what you did,” John eventually said, shaking his head somberly. “You’ve had many chances to confide in me or in any of your other friends what you were going through. You’ve had plenty of choices you could’ve made that would have let others watch over you more closely, or made the weakest and most **** members of our small family less likely to be placed directly under your care. Instead, you chose to hide what you were thinking and feeling, and you left the people relying on you in the dark about what was really going on. I can’t, I won’t let that go unanswered.”

“I understand. Do whatever you think is right,” Vallya said, bowing her head low. “I will accept your judgment.”

“Until further notice, you’re banished from the house, the surrounding area, and anywhere the kittens might freely roam,” John pronounced, steeling his resolve as he continued. “During the day you can stay far in the lands to the east – the lake and the area around our old house – or the forests up north. You can stay at the temple during the night, when Yvara is finished with her work and leaves, so you’ll still have a roof over your head. I will contact you through the ring if we have need of your aid, or if I want to change these terms, but until further notice I expect you to keep at least a one mile distance from the kittens at all times.”

“I… I can do that,” Vallya said, nodding. “But why can’t you just Purify me, Master? Like you did to Mithra?”

“That was… that was a miracle. I can think of no other explanation. I barely have enough control over that ability to direct it most of the time, I don’t fully understand how I did what I did to her,” John admitted. “When I used it on Arista, it completely erased who she was, as far as I can tell. As much as what you’ve done hurts me – hurts all of us, most especially Magnus – you’re still a part of this family. We still care about you, and you say you still care about us. If you’re serious about not having meant to do this, I’ll at least give you a chance to prove it.”

“I appreciate that, Master. I just…” Vallya’s voice fell to a mere whisper, her eyes still shimmering with what few tears were yet unshed, “...I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”

“Vallya, there might be something different about what I created you from, but even if there’s something left of it, you’re the one in charge. You might have these urges, these feelings, but you can’t act on them. You have to steel yourself against these influences somehow.”

“But… how do I do that? How do I fight… me?” Vallya asked, nearly pleading.

“You said earlier that sometimes you didn’t know what you really wanted,” John replied, kneeling in front of Vallya. “Start there. We don’t have any room for uncertainty, Vallya, not anymore. Not after today. You need to make your decision, and make it soon – are you a Star Guardian? Or are you some spirit of vengeance?”

Vallya remained quiet, her eyes distant and her expression vacant. John gave her a few moments to collect herself, then offered her his hand to help her to her feet.

“I’ll… I’ll be out, then. If you need me, just… just call,” Vallya said.

“I will. If you need to contact us, find Orria or one of Tricia’s drones.”

Vallya crept into the air at a tenuous pace, but though she was obviously **** to leave, she did not look back. John waited until she was a speck in the distance, a mere fleck of color against the blue sky, before he walked over to Orria’s side.

“I’ll be relying on you to make sure that she keeps her word, and doesn’t get out of hand, not just to relay messages,” John said, still keeping his voice quiet despite the distance. “I trust you can handle things out on the eastern front while you’re planning out your new region.”

“I’ll make sure everything is under control,” Orria said, nodding quietly. “John, you said there might have been something different about what you Purified Vallya from. What did you mean by that?” Orria asked. “You usually don’t talk much about what any of us used to be.”

“Yeah, mostly just Barrier monsters, but… Vallya was different, that’s for sure,” John murmured, recalling the strange Barrier they’d found themselves in. “It was just supposed to be a normal Dungeon Barrier, but it got taken over by what we thought at the time was an insanely powerful spirit of some kind. She talked to me for a while, said she was interested in me, and offered me an avatar of hers to Purify because… I guess she thought it would be amusing.”

“An avatar? As in… the avatar of a goddess?” Orria asked, gasping.

“Yeah, you got it,” John murmured. “We didn’t realize it at the time, of course. I didn’t know until much later… after the incident with the Albidians. When I met Dike, she was the one who explained that it was another goddess named Jiina, one she’d given permission to visit me. I still don’t know why she was so interested in me, or even what she was the goddess of, but I think I’m starting to get an idea.”

“A goddess…” Orria murmured, fingers pressed to her lips and her eyes contemplative. “I see why you don’t want to take any chances, then. But… are you sure this is for the best, John? Won’t isolating her only make things worse for her?”

“I’m not sure. She said it got particularly strong when she was around certain people, or when she saw bad things happen. If she’s on her own, maybe it will keep these feelings at bay until she can deal with them… whatever the hell they are. Besides, I’m not taking chances with her snapping like that again. She hurt my son.”

The last words were venomous, tinged perhaps with some of that same anger and desire for punishment that had touched Vallya. Orria’s face fell slightly at the tone.

“Speaking of the kids, they could probably use a distraction from all this. I’m guessing we’re done with Barrier training for the day?” Lerianna asked, body tense. “Wouldn’t hurt us all to relax anyway.”

“Yeah, we’re done. I’ll figure something out to get the kittens’ minds off all this. I think Farrah could use the trip too,” John said, sighing.

“What if we took them to the temple Yvara is building?” Shishun asked, gazing off toward the mountains. “They haven’t gotten a chance to see it yet, and neither has Farrah. I bet Yvara has gotten some more work done today, and you can deliver the dyes and other materials we were able to gather during our training today.”

“It would also keep the kittens from spotting the temple on their own and investigating it while Vallya might be there at night, if they stray,” Orria agreed.

“Alright, that’s the plan then,” John said with a firm nod.