Vicissitude

You're unsure how much time passes as you continue to sit by the door, scrutinizing your emotions to the point where they no longer make sense. You can only assume any feelings of favor you have towards your captor must be a symptom of Stockholm syndrome. Though you foolishly assumed your strong will would have warded off such feelings. Perhaps you're simply not as unbending as you thought, or something else is at hand. You'd rather not entertain that thought however, as it's completely deranged to think you might have sympathetic feelings for this stranger. Regardless, you've become increasingly frustrated at your inability to dissuade the man's advances. Brute as he may be, that's no excuse to lead the man on, knowing you have no intentions of ever submitting to him. A sharp rap at the door interrupts your thoughts and sends you quickly scrambling to your feet.

"Who is it?" You ask breathless, knowing it can only be the leader given his new found mistrust of his guards.

"Kessler." You hear the deep voice confirm through the large apparatus separating you.

Pausing for a moment, you realize you could easily keep the man out should you choose. He must know this is a possibility, having put you in a room that locks from the inside. Though it's tempting, you ultimately decide against it. After all, the man is your only current means of protection and you can't risk his injury or demise at this time. Your fingers tremble as you slowly move to unlock the large door, your fatigued muscles straining to turn the large latch release wheel. A moment later, you hear a click before the door is carefully pushed open. Stepping aside, you watch the leader warily as he enters the room. Turning, he closes the door before locking it back up with considerable ease. Despite this, you note a weary look across the man's face, including a fresh scrape across his cheek. In fact, he looks rather roughed up as though he was recently in a fight. Frowning, you take another step back, concerned that his anger may have returned.

To your surprise, the man hardly glances in your direction as he walks over the bed and slowly sinks down onto the mattress. He lets out a deep long sigh before pulling his boots off and kicking them aside. His breath appears to be slightly ragged as he leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. Hesitantly, you slowly move forward to get a better look. A frown quickly spreads across your face when he runs a hand through his hair, revealing bloodied and bruised knuckles. Biting your lip, you can't help your furthered concern and curiosity.

"You're hurt." You comment softly, your eyes drifting down and noticing half dry splatters of blood on his clothes.

"Not as hurt as the guard." He replies bluntly, his voice sounding somewhat self-satisfied.

"What did you do?" You quickly demand, moving to stand before him.

Despite your hatred towards the aforementioned guard, you still abhor the thought of ****. There's a brief pause before the man slowly raises his head to observe you. A shiver runs down your spine at the dark look that has taken over him.

"Nothing more than he deserved." He informs you with a frown before standing up. "I thought you'd be pleased."

"Pleased?" You echo in confusion, looking up at the leader with a mix of apprehension and annoyance. "At what? A gross display of brute and senseless justice? You could have just exiled him!"

"Is that what you would have preferred?" He snarls, suddenly angrily. "For me to have spared him after what he tried to do to you? Or perhaps you're merely disappointed he didn't have the chance to finish."

Your eyes widen in a mix of rage and disgust. Biting your tongue until the metallic taste of blood fills your mouth, you **** yourself to regain some sense of control before replying. Though you'd like to blurt out a myriad of rebuttals and obscenities, you're acutely aware of the man's already enraged temper. Begrudgingly, you **** yourself to take a slightly less caustic approach.

"That's not true." You reply honestly, keeping you voice low and even toned. "I have no fondness in my heart for that beast but I also have no fondness for gratuitous ****."

The man shakes his head unsympathetically, appearing unable to give up his anger yet. Exhaling roughly, he turns his face away from you as an expression of discontent comes over it. Unsure whether he's accepting of your words or not, you remain silent for a moment wondering what else you could say. Lying seems pointless and unwanted as you're still in disagreement with his version of justice. However, you know you cannot let his rage continue festering.

"I realize I never thanked you for showing up when you did." You mumble softly, also casting your gaze away from the man. "I am honestly grateful."

You hear the leader sigh again, though this time softer and somewhat weary. You keep your eyes averted as you hear him move to stand before you. Chewing the inside of your lip nervously, you're actually relieved when you feel his large hand on your shoulder. You can feel your heart beat increasing again as the prolonged silence continues. You don't pull away when you feel his other hand move to your chin before tilting your face up towards him. To your annoyance your cheeks instantly become warm as a deep blush spreads over them. The man's eyes have softened considerably, now overtaken by a look of melancholy.

"You don't need to thank me." He replies through gritted teeth, seeming to now be upset with himself. "You wouldn't have been in that situation if it wasn't for me."

"I don't blame you for what happened." You're surprised to hear yourself admit.

Not just hours ago you had held a different opinion on the matter. Biting your tongue again, you resolve not to keep your mouth shut for now. The leader's expression changes slightly as he considers the perplexed look on your face. His head tilts to the side slightly as he seems to struggle reading it. You can hardly blame him as you're currently unsure how you feel about anything anymore.

"Regardless." He finally states, beginning to sound a bit more like his usual self. "I swear you won't be put in such a position again."

Nodding absentmindedly, you slowly turn your gaze away again, currently preoccupied with your ever changing thoughts. You didn't think it was possible to hate yet appreciate a person. You don't dare consider that your feelings towards him are anything more than general gratitude for the marginal amenities he's provided you with. After all, you wouldn't be here at all were it not for him. So you can hardly attribute much praise to him for providing you with basic necessities such as food and water. Nevertheless, you've found yourself becoming begrudgingly attached to the man. His equally ever changing attitude being both a source of confusion and intrigue. At first glance you hadn't assumed there could be anything good beneath his surface. However, these momentary admissions of humanity have you wondering if there's more to him than meets the eye.

Despite the feelings of conflict, you're able to maintain a modicum of rationality. His hand remains cupped around your chin, his thumb softly running along your jawline. You sense him considering testing your boundaries once more but seems ultimately reconsider. You breathe out a small sigh of relief when he releases you from his grip and turns away. It feels as though your heart is about to break out of your ribcage given how wildly it's beating. It only seems to increase its pace as you see the man begin to unbutton his shirt. Wide eyed, you quickly turn away to allow him his privacy. You catch the amused scoff that escapes his lips at your likely unnecessary action. Regardless, you're not sure you can't trust yourself to react logically at this moment.

After a moment you hear a throat clear before hesitantly facing the man again. A small smirk has come over his face as your large eyes take in his now half naked body. The blush on your face rages on as you hurriedly look away again. You can see the leader shake his head in amusement at your sustained modesty. In your peripheral vision you continue to watch as he moves over to the bed. The mattress groans loudly as his large figure sinks back into it. Frozen in place, you realize he means for you to share the room, at least for the night. Swallowing nervously, you glance around noting a distinct lack of sofa or anything else that could be used as a makeshift cot. After a moment of uncomfortable silence you realize you can't just stand there all night. Timidly, you approach the unoccupied side of the bed before taking one of the spare pillows. You see Kessler's brow arch in confusion as you toss it onto the floor.

"Is that really necessary?" He questions, leaning over to catch your wrist in his hand. "I won't bite... unless you want me to."

You're surprised to feel yourself torn and actually considering joining him. Though you're far from willing to allow him anything further than shared warmth. Hesitantly, you motion from him to return back to his own side before gingerly taking the vacant spot beside him. You're acutely aware of his gaze on your slight figure as it slips between the covers. You can sense him eyeing your clothes specifically, however, having not been provided something to sleep in your only choice is to remain in those you had donned in the morning. Thankfully, he remains silent and allows you to settle into place without dispute. Rolling onto your side, you face the edge of the bed apprehensively. Your breath feels shallow as you quietly await any movement on his part. A few moments pass before you're able to let out a sigh of relief when you hear him turn over. Despite this, you lie awake late into the night, listening to each creak and groan of the old building, only slightly drowned out by the man's deep, even breaths. Eventually, you're unable to keep your eyes open any longer and drift into a restless sleep.