Match One: Diana Briggs vs Alice Summers!

We're kicking this round of the tournament off with style! Lysanderoth brings us Diana Briggs, the cop with a chip on her shoulder. Having already faced humiliation at the golf course, Diana is set up for a clash with Alice Summers!

Champion of Mr. E, Alice Summers is the pear-shaped red-haired half Australian with a love for everyone and a heart full of kindness. After finding herself naked at the zoo, what further adventures might she become embroiled in?

Writers, begin.