Halftime Adjustments (Rewrite)

Author's Acknowledgment: This rewrite was heavily influenced by the feedback of specific readers. Thank you to Ryon Reyne, DigitalBonsai, shadracht, and Flickering_Eternity for their impassioned feedback.

“HUUUUGHK!” You gasp out loud, taking in a deep breath, before immediately sitting up with what you can only assume is adrenaline coursing through your veins. You try to get your bearings as you have no idea where you are.

What happened?

Your vision is still a bit blurry and you try to frantically blink it away, which somehow makes it worse. You close your eyes again to compose yourself, and breathe deeply through your nose to try and calm yourself down.

“JAY!” Becca shouts with obvious worry in her tone. You feel Becca immediately wrap your head in her arms like a motherly hug, only made weird by the fact that she’s topless and your cheeks are definitely pressed against her breasts right now.

“Are you alright? I’m so sorry!” Becca apologizes profusely.

“What happened?” You ask her, still in a daze.

“My legs locked into place while I climaxed and it restricted your breathing. You fell **** before I could free you.” Becca explains what happened, her tone full of shame.

What the fuck, Becca!?

“That’s not an excuse.” You tell her, after you forcefully separate from her chest so you can say it to her eye-to-eye.

“I know! Are you alright? Do you need some water?” Becca acknowledges her mistake, as she places her hand on your cheek, and continues to worry about you.

“Yeah. I think water would be good.” You answer, and Becca immediately rushes off the bed and towards the mini-fridge she has in the room, while you go back to close your eyes to get your head back to a normal state.

You feel Becca place her hand on your cheek a few moments later, and when you open your eyes, you see her offering you a bottle of water with a deeply regretful look in her eyes. You take the bottle she’s offering and take in big gulps of the water to recover, causing Becca to remove the hand she has on your cheek.

After you finish the entire bottle, you take in more deep breaths to recover and you can’t help but notice Becca has her hands in her hair in what you can only assume is frustration at herself. As much as you want to tell her off for **** you ****…

You hate seeing her like this.

“Are you like a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or something?” You ask her jokingly to try and lighten her worry of you, and the question catches her off guard based on the look she gives as a reaction.

“What?” Becca asks in confusion.

“You had me trapped in pretty tough spots there for a while. I couldn’t even move.” You explain what you mean.

“I-... No. Those are just positions I picked up from my previous experiences as a domme.” Becca answers.

“Well, if you add some ground and pound in there I think you’ll be a champion in no time.” You tease her, and Becca remains in her worry despite your attempt to lighten the mood.

…

You wait some more to see if she’ll calm down and see that you’re alright now, but her demeanor still doesn’t change. You can even see her grab a fistful of her own hair the longer you wait, and wanting to prevent her from pulling her hair out, you finally decide to address her feelings.

“It’s my turn to ask now. Are you alright?” You ask her, seeing that she’s definitely beating herself over what happened.

“I promised your daughter I’ll bring you back in one piece and I almost killed you.” Becca says with her head down in disappointment of herself.

“True.” You reply, and you notice Becca clenches her hands into fists upon confirming that is what happened. “It would’ve been one hell of a way to go though.” You joke, and Becca just ‘tsks’ in response, making you realize that your attempts to lighten the situation is just sending the message that you’re not taking what happened seriously enough.

…

“Hey,” you finally address her, unable to watch her be dejected with herself any longer; and it’s you who has to take her by the cheeks and make her stare into your eyes this time. “What happened isn’t that big of a deal, Becca.” You try to assure her.

“It is to me!” Becca immediately admits.

“Why?” You admit your confusion.

“Because I asked you to trust me!” Becca shouts in response, and you’re beginning to understand where she’s coming from. “I asked you to trust me and I ended up betraying that trust!” Becca continues to explain the hurt she’s feeling.

“I’ve had my trust betrayed before, Becca. What happened here wasn’t that.” You try to assure her again.

“Stop!” Becca shouts again, forcing herself away from you holding her by the cheeks.

“I don’t need you to reassure me I didn’t do something wrong. I know I did! Throwing it under the rug like you’re attempting to do now is not going to help either of us. I need to know that you can tell me when I make a mistake. Otherwise, this could happen again and again and you end up resenting me for it.” Becca points out, and you sigh knowing she has a point. You’re trying to diffuse the situation by not fully acknowledging her mistake, and she’s right that it’s not a healthy way of dealing with this.

“I don’t want you to end up like Viv who kept everything she actually felt inside her only to burst out her frustrations when it’s too late.” Becca adds some more, and it’s this point that makes you nod in acceptance that what she’s saying is a hundred percent correct.

“I… I see your point now.” You tell her. “Yes, almost suffocating me is definitely a huge concern that I hope doesn’t happen again… but it was an accident, wasn’t it?” You ask her calmly.

“Accidents like that shouldn’t happen! What if I ended up actually hurting you? How would you be able to trust me again afterwards?” She asks.

“Just tell me it was an accident and promise me it won’t happen again.” You answer her, and this seems to frustrate Becca even more.

“Is that the same thing you would have told your ex-wife if she told you what she did was an accident?” Becca asks you, and this immediately gets your blood boiling.

“Of course not! That’s completely different! Everything she did were conscious decisions on her part!” You raise your voice to answer.

“Everything I did were conscious decisions too! That’s what I need you to see! Losing control over myself is not an excuse for you to just forgive me. If you’re angry with me, tell me!” Becca tells you.

“I’m definitely feeling some type of way now that you brought my ex-wife up!” You continue in a raised voice, and you realize your body is tensed up and you even have your hands clenched into fists too.

“Good! Tell me what else you feel! Did you even enjoy yourself from what we did?” Becca asks, and her question takes you off guard that you can’t help but blurt out your honest answer.

“You want to know the truth? No!” You shout in the heightened emotional state that she put you in. You immediately catch yourself though, as it seems to have visibly hurt Becca to hear it.

“I mean, yes. Kind of. Towards the end, at least.” You backtrack immediately.

“No! Don’t do that! Be completely honest with me! Whether you think it pains me to hear it or not.” Becca reprimands you.

“Okay, yes, in the beginning it felt like you were just using me. It felt like I was less of a participant in what we were doing and more of a pleasure device… but when you told me you needed me, I realized I was misinterpreting your intentions. You were enjoying yourself because of me, and not because I was just doing your bidding. At least, that’s how I started to see it. I started getting into it once I saw what we were doing in that light.” You try to temper your original answer while still remaining honest with her. Becca closes her eyes and nods her acknowledgment of the critique.

“What else?” Becca then asks after a moment.

“Why does it feel like you want me to grade your performance? I’m new to this whole thing Becca, but isn’t this whole thing supposed to be fun? Not some graded exercise?” You ask her.

“I’m asking now because I failed to properly communicate with you while I was in control, and we shouldn’t continue if we’re both unable to do so.” She answers. “I asked you to trust me blindly, and I abused that trust when I wasn’t able to control myself with you. You were right to think I did begin to just use you… because I was.” Becca admits.

“I couldn’t help myself. How I feel when it’s with you is different than anything I’ve experienced before. I just wanted… more. I just selfishly wanted more, and began to disregard your own enjoyment.” Becca continues.

“Whether it’s the magic or not, I am still the one to blame for losing control over myself while you trusted me to be in control. I wasn’t as composed and as controlled like I usually—” Becca starts to say before you cut her off.

“Like a robot?” You interject.

“I’m not a rob—!” Becca predictably reacts, and you don’t give her a chance to finish by kissing her on the lips. Becca seems to like this interruption and wraps her arms around the back of your head and immediately reciprocates the kiss.

“I know you’re not a robot, Becca.” You tell her as you break away from the kiss. “Your admission that you lost control proves that.” You assure her. “It’s only human to lose yourself to passion and pleasure during sex. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” You tell her your honest assessment.

“No, it isn’t; but I can’t make those mistakes if I’ve placed myself in the position of control! ” Becca responds. “The whole point of inviting you into this room without creating a verbal contract beforehand was to show you that being submissive to me doesn’t have to involve roleplay, or bondage, or spanking, or-or dirty talk. There’s more to domme-sub relationships than those things. Your enjoyment is my responsibility, and I failed to keep you in mind like I promised the moment you started pleasuring me.” Becca explains her worries to you.

“If communication is the issue, then maybe we should have talked about what we were supposed to do beforehand. You told me before we started that that’s usually how you do it, right?” You suggest.

“No. I didn’t want you to submit because it was your role. I wanted you to submit out of your own volition. Out of your own recognition that I enjoy being in control and you wanted me to enjoy that control… and hopefully enjoy being dominated by me too.” Becca argues, and you feel some sort of guilt for your earlier answer, but realize that you shouldn’t feel that way because everything you’ve said so far is exactly what Becca wants out of you— honesty.

“Did it occur to you that maybe I wanted the same thing for you?” You ask her.

“Of course it occurred to me.” She answers. “It became apparent when you started to tease me like how I teased you… but instead of adapting to you, I pushed my demands on you like an inexperienced amateur. I just wanted to continue feeling what I felt. I was selfish with my desires, and I’m truly sorry for it.” Becca apologizes, her dejection at herself returning.

“You don’t have to apologize about that. I was pretty stubborn too, if I’m being honest. I knew you wanted me to be more submissive, and I still pushed being a tease as soon as I had some semblance of control after you told me how much you enjoyed what I was doing for you. I took away the control I gave you, and that’s partly why mistakes were made in the heat of the moment. We’re both… I don’t think the right phrase is ‘at fault’... um~... we’re both…” You try to find the right words, before Becca finishes it for you.

“We’re both still figuring out our sexual dynamic with each other.” Becca completes the thought for you, and you chuckle in agreement, and your chuckling gets Becca to chuckle as well.

“Exactly.” You concur, a little relieved that you’ve both reached a point of calm.

…

“So~... communication?” You ask her lightheartedly.

“Proper communication.” Becca replies, before offering you her hand. You accept it and shake it once to confirm the deal you have together.

“I’m glad you forgive me for ruining our evening together.” Becca tells you.

“This didn’t ruin our evening, Becca. If this is something we needed to get through, I’m glad you were able to coax me into having this conversation now rather than later. I appreciate you can own up to your mistakes, and I appreciate it more that you can call me out when I’m not being completely honest with my feelings.” You tell her, and she finally gives you a shy smile, and even tucks her bangs behind her ear in embarrassment.

…

“What now?” You ask her.

“I think it best if we call it a night. I have substantially ruined the mood already.” Becca answers, and you take both her hands in yours because you have a feeling she’s the one that’s not being completely honest now.

“Is that what you really want?” You ask her with perceptive eyes that makes her sigh in acknowledgment of what she’s doing.

“No. I want to continue.” Becca answers truthfully. “However, I cannot honestly say if the result will be any different if I remain in control.” Becca admits.

“Then how about we make it different?” You ask her.

“What do you propose?” Becca asks curiously.

“When we continue, the moment I speak, we stop. It means I’m feeling you’re losing control of yourself again and you’re forgetting my own enjoyment. If that happens, I gain control; and the same rules apply to me.” You suggest, and Becca has a look of surprise on her face at your suggestion.

“Wouldn’t that mean you’ll have to be silent? What happened to proper communication?” Becca asks, but not dismissive of your suggestion.

“You wanted our dynamic to come natural, right? If I purposefully don’t speak, it means I enjoy what you’re doing and I want you to continue. I think knowing that beforehand is proper communication. It also means the only way this works is if we’re honest about what we’re feeling. If either of us speak just because we want it to be our turn in the driver seat, or if we prevent each other from speaking just so that we can stay in control, this idea will never work.” You explain your thought process, and Becca’s speechless at first, but there’s a sparkle in her eyes that you can’t quite place the emotion behind.

“I didn’t think that was what you’d suggest.” Becca comments.

“What did you think I was going to suggest?” You ask her.

“That we do it your way. No conditions.” Becca answers.

“We could do that too, but would you honestly prefer that?” You say.

“No. I like your proposal better.” Becca says with an appreciative smile.

“I want to make it clear that this compromise only applies when it’s just the two of us. I’m positive that we’ll have to do something as a group eventually, and I think in those situations it’ll be better if I’m the one in control. I’m not really sure how amenable the others might be with somebody else taking—” You start qualifying your statement before Becca’s the one cutting you off this time, the same way you did earlier — with a kiss.

“Deal.” Becca tells you after the two of you break away from the kiss.

“You know, you really shouldn’t cut me off when I’m speaking. It ruins the whole point of proper communication.” You jokingly reply, and Becca rolls her eyes at your attempt at levity.

“They are your girlfriends, so I—” Becca starts to say before you correct her.

“We.” You try to correct her.

“Oui?” Becca asks you with a confused look.

“We.” You repeat.

“Oui? Oui. Je sais. Je ne sais pas pourquoi tu devais le dire en français…” Becca then starts to say and you’re more confused.

“What?” You ask her.

“Were you not speaking French?” Becca asks you.

“No. Where’d you get that?” You ask her, unable to not laugh at the situation.

“Oui!” Becca says defensively.

“Ohh~! No! I didn’t mean the French ‘oui’, I meant ‘we~’ ‘we’.” You say to clarify, and it predictably makes her even more confused.

“I thought you said you were a writer.” Becca says with a straight face, and all you can do is laugh from embarrassment, and your laugh eventually gets her to crack a smile too.

“I’m sorry. I only meant to say that you don’t have to use ‘they’ like you’re not my girlfriend yet.” You attempt to clarify once again.

“Oh~. We~ are your girlfriends.” Becca repeats in understanding.

“Oui.” You cheekily reply, and Becca is unamused, which you find even funnier.

“Well, as I was saying,” Becca brushes off your joke. “They are not my~ girlfriends. So it is only right that you be in control in those situations.” Becca points out.

“Oh. That’s what you were trying to say.” You say in embarrassment for trying to be sweet by correcting her.

“Oui, before you interrupted me.” Becca points out teasingly. “You know, you really shouldn’t cut me off when I’m speaking. It ruins the whole point of proper communication.” Becca recalls your joke.

“I was just trying to be sweet.” You say with a smile in defense of your interruption.

“By stating a fact?” Becca counters, and now she’s the one with a cheeky smile on her face, knowing she’s definitely winning this playful mini-argument.

“A fun fact.” You try to counter.

“What’s so fun about it?” Becca asks teasingly.

“Well~,” You say as filler while you think of something on the spot. “That depends on your definition of fun…” You say to answer her, right when something crosses your mind that you’re sure she’ll love hearing. “... Mistress.”

As soon as she hears you refer to her as such, Becca’s eyes light up and her smile becomes diabolical again.

Without hesitation, Becca pushes you back onto the bed and she’s already mounting you before your back even hits the mattress. Becca then places a finger over your lips to tell you that you have to keep quiet for this part.

“That is the last word exiting your lips unless you want me to stop. Is that clear?” Becca commands you, and you nod in understanding.

“Good.” Becca says in reaction before leaning in and giving you a kiss. You want to wrap your arms around her again like you did earlier, but you control yourself this time as that’s not what Becca would want.

“I can see it in your body language. How you’re already holding yourself back from not touching me even though you want to. Thank you for trusting me again. I promise I’ll try my best not to break it this time.” Becca says after breaking away from the kiss, before giving you a quick peck on the cheek.

“You deserve a reward after all that.” She adds, with another mischievous smile on her face.

“Let’s finally get these pants off, shall we?”

Author's Note: For those who want to read the original version and want to compare it to the current iteration, you can read the previous version here.