Arise! Super Derp Heroes!

“Like we tots have to get to some cover, if we want the King to live,” Sam told the group as she and Gali lifted John to his feet. John struggled to stay on his feet as he could feel the pulses of electrical energy flow through his body. The attack from the Gazimon seemed to linger far after their defeat by the digimon of the derps.

“Here, this way!” Shelly said as she appeared from behind a rather large tree in the forest. “I think there’s a cave over this way. The first one we hid in worked out well for us, so let’s hope this one does too,” she spoke as she led the group to the cave that she had found.

“Is Big Bro John gonna be ok?” asked Mimi as she, Yatina, and their two digimon walked behind Shelly but in front of Gali, Sam, and John.

“I’ll be alright,” John said with bated breath. The paralysis had dissipated at a slow but steady run. “I’m feeling better al-,” John could not finish the sentence as a pulse of electricity made its way through his body. The derps yelped in surprise but their digimon quickly turned their gaze away so they would not see John as he convulsed while in the firm grips of Gali and Sam.

“It’s alright, Mimi,” Moonmon told Mimi as she held her close.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine,” Sunmon told Yatina as she clung to Sunmon for comfort.

“My dear girls, you trust me, yes?” Gali asked the two girls, who just nodded as they cuddled their digimon. “Good, then know that we will get John all healed up and ready to fight with us again, isn’t that right John?” asked Gali who knew John was well enough to speak again.

“Yep, that’s right! I’ll be better real soon, I can feel it. So I need you two to stay strong for me, can you girls do that for me?” John asked them as he had one eye closed in pain that he tried to hide from the two innocent derps he spoke to.

“Yes,” the two said meekly.

“Come now Mimi, we must be strong,” Moonmon told her derpy parter.

“Moonmon is right, Yatina,” Sunmon jumped in. “Afterall, you two are the only ones with digimon that are capable of fighting. So we’re the groups only line of defense right now,” he told the two.

“That means you two can finally get the chance to be the heroes you always play as. Don’t you wanna be the hero?” asked Moonmon.

“Yes...” the two said weakly.

“I can’t hear you!” Sunmon told them.

“Yes...” they said again, stronger.

“One more time, with feeling!” Moonmon told them.

“YES!” The two yelled with an abundance of bravado and vigor in their voices.

“Derp Hero Mimi reporting for duty!” Mimi announced as she saluted John.

“Dragon Hero Yatina reporting for duty!” copied Yatina as she, too, saluted John. John let out a hearty laugh as the two derps, with the most serious of faces, stood in front of him as they stood at attention, hands still in the salute. John **** himself off of Gali and stood upright so he could salute the two derps back.

“Derp Hero Mimi, Dragon Hero Yatina. I, King John, humbly ask for your assistance in keeping us safe as we find a place to rest and recuperate!” John asked the two derpy heroes. They both gave him a nod, then nodded to each other.

“Moonmon!”

“Sunmon!”

“Let’s protect the civilians from the enemy digimon!” The two said in unison as they rushed forwards.

“I’ll keep an eye on them,” Shelly said as she chased after the two.

“You like, tots think that's a good idea, kingman?” asked Sam.

“I think we’re pretty safe now. Plus, they needed to get their mind off what happened. I’m not sure what the current curriculum is on derps, but, basically, we can’t let them become bamboozled,” John told the young inquisitor.

“Bamwhatled?” Sam asked, completely confused.

“Basically, if derps get too scared, or too angry, or too any of a normally considered negative emotion they become bamboozled. Which, according to a derpy dragon named Dargon, makes said derp a threat to the very multiverse.” explained John.

“Like no way!” Sam said, completely shocked. “Those cute lil’ things can tots wreck the multiverse?!”

“Yep. One time those two sent me, Idena, and them both to an alternate universe where I joined a group of hunters that worshiped Artemis. Those two even met themselves. Craziest shit I ever did see,” John told Sam.

“Wow...” was all she could say.

“Totally wanted to bang his main girl tho, she was hot. Can’t deny, I got good tastes in women no matter what universe I’m in,” John said with a chuckle. Gali and Sam could not help but blush a bit at that remark.

“Now, let’s get going. We don’t want to lose the protection of our great heroes,” John said as he began to walk, which caused Gali to quickly regain her position on John’s side and helped him continue to walk to the cave that Shelly lead them all to.

“Derp Hero Mimi reports no enemies in the vancity!” reported Mimi as she ran by the group as they traveled towards the cave.
“Vancity?” asked Sam, who gave John and Gali a confused look.

“Vicinity,” replied John.

“Ah! Tots checks out,” confirmed Sam.

“Dragon Hero Yatina reports no enemies in the sky!” said the draconic derp as she flew around the group.

“Look! The cave is just ahead!” Gali said as she pointed to the rock face that appeared in their field of vision.

“Excellent, let’s get in there,” John said as the group continued their trip.

“First, let us Derp Heroes check it out!” Mimi said as she and Yatina puffed out their chests to look brave and strong.

“Let’s sackcure the area!” Yatina said as the two dashed ahead of the group to get to the cave first. As soon as the two reach the cusp of the cavern, a monstrous roar echoes from deep within the cave.