Becoming Fast Friends, Again?

Eddie did this thing where he nodded while his mouth went rigid and straight. He raised his eyebrows and gave a pained little smile and then he cocked his head to one side before fighting back a bark of laughter.

"Yeah," he said, his voice dripping with sarcastic venom, "That makes sense."

I was left standing there as he turned on his heel and started to walk away, his shoulders rolling as he fought to keep his laughter to himself. It was all so obvious and I'd seen it a dozen times to a dozen different people. Never to me though. Never to me.

"What was that?" I asked him, "What do you mean?"

My voice rose a little more defensively than I meant and I took a quick step forward as he turned, hands up ready to sue for a peace I wasn't particularly feeling at that exact moment.

"Oh it's nothing," he tossed dismissively over his shoulder with a little wave, "Don't worry about it."

There was something smug in his voice, something that I couldn't quite place in any way. It was unfamiliar to me, not a voice that he'd ever used with me before but one that I recognized all the same.

Because there was just such... malice to it.

I'm not a confrontational person. Usually when someone chirps at me or insults me I struggle to even finish a sentence and wind up falling all over myself with apologies. But this time something was different, something I couldn't place. And that got my back up.

"No," I stood firm, "No you were obviously thinking of something. Wanna tell me or do you just want to have me assuming the absolute worst in this situation?"

None of it made sense. I was saying what he believed. I was telling him his own opinions, and yet coming from me he clearly didn't appreciate the sentiment one bit.

He stopped deliberately and turned slowly, regarding me with that same sort of look that he had before. Judgment and sarcasm at war with each other in him as he curled his lip back in a sneer.

"You need me to spell it out? I mean you seem like a smart enough sort, I'm sure you can put two and two together."

I stepped forward this time, just one step but enough of a deliberate movement that there was no mistaking the intention behind it.

"I just want to hear you say it."

It was noon in the middle of town and we were two gunslingers drawing down on each other, hands hovering above our holsters and fingers twitching while we met each other's eyes and did our best not to blink. And the longer I stared into his eyes the more I was certain of his meaning and his reason for disrespect, but fuck it now I wanted him to spell it out for me. I wanted him to draw the line between the word 'emotional control' and the sex I was in. I wanted him to spell it out and say it, because I knew that was what he was thinking.

It wasn't that he didn't agree with the opinion, because clearly I knew that he did. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate being approached by me or appreciate being caught in the fantasy section.

It was me. It was that fact that it was me, and he didn't know me.

The only thing he knew about me was the body that I was in, but apparently that was enough to make a snap judgment and I wish that I could say that it was unexpected coming from him but the longer I stood waiting for clarification the less certain I was that it was.

The last time I'd seen Eddie was three years out of college and maybe that was long enough ago that I forgot all the little details. Everything smoothed over with the rose-colored memory of him and none of it the reality.

Eddie was a friend. Eddie was there for me when no one else was. Eddie was the only friend I had in this whole damn life.

But that didn't mean that Eddie was a good person at all.

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