Tuesday, I’m in Love

Eve woke up with a demon standing over her.

“Ah!” She cried out.

“Morning sugarplum!” Nzinga gushed. “I hope my hubby showed you a good time last night. How do you like your eggs?”

“Oh.” Eve recognized the ram-horned demon as Nzinga, former king of gluttony. “Sunny side up.”

“Good choice.” Nzinga beamed.

“What are you doing here?”

Nzinga hummed, and entered the kitchen. “Well that mean Mr.Stan kicked me out, that’s true. But my sugar-pie-sweetie-cakes invited me back up, so I’m making him a big old breakfast.” Eve followed the demon into the kitchen, her morning routine divinely short. She ran her hand though her hair, and the golden waves fell into place.

She wasn’t lying, the breakfast might as well have been her buffet, for all the food she’d produced. “Wow.”

Nzinga giggled girlishly, and began crackings eggs. “I might have gone a little overboard, I am a demon of gluttony after all.”

“And you’re cute was a button.” Lucifer said, walking into the kitchen through his bedroom door. He pinched Nzinga on the ass and kissed her cheek. She melted into his arms, and ended up breaking a yoke.

“Oh fiddle sticks, I’m sorry Eve, let me get you a new one.”

The mother smiled. “No it’s okay, I think I’m just going to go. In a way this is your honeymoon.”

“Off to sulk?” Lucifer grinned as Eve’s ridiculous ass wobbled away.

“Actually I have a meeting.” Eve made her way to the front door, but it opened up before she could get to it.

“Hello beautiful.” Skylar said, addressing Eve’s breasts. “Getting an early start on the morning?”

“Just trying to get out of here.” Eve sighed, but the host wasn't there for her. Skylar politely stepped out of the door frame, and allowed Eve passage. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Skylar winked. “Don’t feel bad about your unproductive night. You’re doing so well in the game, you deserve a week off.”

With that she breezed into the kitchen, where Lucifer was drinking a cup of coffee, and Nzinga was feverishly working on eggs. “I hope you like sunnyside up!” She called, seeing Skylar enter.

“Yum, yum.” Skylar sat down in the chair opposite of Lucifer. “The black granite table was my idea.”

“Congratulations.”

“So you and I need to have a talk.”

“I should say so.”

“I need you to shape up.”

Lucifer sipped from his coffee for a moment. “Oh, I’m sorry. Was me being kidnapped by a witch inconvenient for you?”

Skylar frowned. “No, no I don’t blame you for any of this, except for the first week, totally your fault. No, no I understand that you’re inclined to **** and torment your harem, and believe that I want it, I really do, but we’re on a time crunch now. We only have three weeks to make these girls fall in love with you, and we’re not going to get there with you being mean to them.”

“Fall in love with me? Since when is that a requirement of a harem?”

Skylar smiled. “Call it a personal challenge.”

“I call it a personal problem.”

Skylar smiled, like she knew some great secret. “You can’t do it.”

“I never said that.” The reaction was immediate, like a lightning bolt.

“Then you’ll do it!”

“I never said that.”

“You don’t say much.” Skylar grinned. “That’s fine, I like talking enough for the both of us. You know the other shows give the master transformations too.”

He smirked. “Honestly, this show. Why don’t you just make them love me?”

Skylar smirked at this too, though her eyebrows furrowed, and she had an amused but offended look to her. “None can compel love dear Satan, don’t you know that?”

“Uuuuuuuuuh.” Elizabeth betched and moan as the morning light creeped in through the cracks in her curtains. Like daggers from the evil sun they burned her eyes and seemed to go straight into her brain. “I need a drink.” She whined and got out of bed.

There was a moaning to her side, and she saw Mary tied up on her side of the room. Her red feet and hands were both hoisted up over her head, she had a toilet brush sticking out of her ass, the handle inserted like the tail of a poodle. A toilet plunger was stuck to a breasts, and a toilet seat sat around her neck like jewelry.

Elizabeth smirked at this, though it didn’t feel very Christian. “Serves you right.” She grumbled to herself and left the room. She hobbled through the hotel to the lounge. It was an obstacle course of blinding lights, and blaring noises. The elevator had been especially harrowing. She was still in her floor length nightgown by the time she sat down.

The smiling bartender offered her no Shame at her early morning drinking only a grin, and a whiskey spour.

She guzzled the drink down like she was starved of air, and instantly felt relief. Slowly the lights faded and the noises grew blessedly muffled. “Phew.” She sighed, feeling finally awake.

Once her head was clear she noticed Eve was already at the bar on the opposite end. She looked pristine, and half wobbly. She raised a drink to Elizabeth as if indicating solidarity.

Elizabeth for a moment sensed that maybe she should go over there and talk to her, but she couldn’t bring herself too. She needed to get dressed, and tackle the day, it was her turn to woo Satan, God help her.

——-

Erica passed Elizabeth as she exited the lounge and gave her a polite nod. For a moment she felt a flash of anger when she saw pity in the vampire’s eyes. Erica was winning, who would pity her? Just because she lost Joan? Just because she renounced God?

She swallowed it down, and joined Eve at the bar. It was bright and early, and the woman was already a few drinks deep. Brutal. She thought of Bar Bae and how Eve and her could be good friends. Massive racks, Erica would be lying if she said the thought of Eve drinking from Bar Bae’s giant nipples wasn’t a little arousing. “Hows that treating you.” Erica nodded to the glasses.

Eve burped, and pouted. “Sucks, everything feels all slippery. I feel slippery, and giggly. I’m a very serious person you know.”

Erica smirked. “Yes I’ve always gotten that vibe.”

“What about you?” Eve bit into a cherry. “Eat the strawberry yet?”

“No, I don’t know who to use it on.”

Eve nodded. “Iz guess we should wait to Boudica to talk bout that.”

“Yeah.” Erica checked her phone. “Where is she?”

——-

“Arf! Arf! Arf! Aroooooooo!” Helen moaned, and howled as a Boudica brought her to a doggy orgasm. Twice as intense as the ones she had as a human, and one million times less satisfying.

The redhead likewise collapsed the third orgasm of the day was satisfied, and checked off. “You beautiful snugglin’ meanie.” She breathed, and sighed. She tried to cool down but it was useless. Her breath made her lungs burn with Helen’s musk. She was already horny again. Never stopped.

Helen was no different she looked at Boudica with her big blue eyes. Need, pure animal need.

“Ah you’re snugglin dangerous!” Boudica cried and jumped to her feet. Gotta open the darn windows with you around I do.” She did so, and the cool wind sizzled off their skin. Boudica stuck her head out the window and breathed deep the mountain air. “One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand…”

Inside Helen was whining waggling her ass, wafting pheromones like chemical warfare. She had no words, only visuals. Her perfect body, her weeping cunt, her cute little ass it was all good.

Boudica should have jumped out the window, the snow was soft and inviting. But she turned around. She knew she lost the moment she saw that bright red foofie, dripping lube, and promising her rubber joytoy a good long snuggle. "Ooooh no." She sighed, her hand dripping to her strapon, jerking it slowly. She could feel her fingers on the toy, stroking it, up and down, up and down. The harness pressed against her new bulbous clit, each trust shocked her with pleasure. It probably shoould have hurt, abusing such a sensitive button like that, but her body wasn't very good at pain these days, it felt like all those nerves had seen the light and crossed over to pleasure. Pinching herself felt pleasureable, spanking felt pleasurable, fuck just the silk sheets on her skin made her horny.

And this whining dog, got her going more than anything.

"Do you want my joytoy, you pathetic Boudica?" Ugh, she hated that one.

But Helen only barked. "Arf!"

"Yeah you do." Boudica jerked a little faster. She had such a strange need. She wanted to cum in Helen. She felt like if she could only breed the puppy she'd be satisfied. She wanted to leave Helen a big dripping cream pie, and then she could finally get dressed.

She mounted the bed, maybe this time it would work...

Elizabeth peered into her reflection, inspecting the work of the hair dresser with the same eye she used on all the artists she patroned. As she tilted her head, and looked from one mirror to another, she caught a man looking at her. Or a thing in the shape of a man. "What are you doing here?" She asked evenly, redisent to sound pleased, or disgusted to see him, though she was disgusted. It just seemed unwise to let it on, and pleased just felt impossible.

"Came to see you." Lucifer said cooly. He was leaned in a doorway, he head cocked at an angle. He was so beautiful. "Nice hair."

"I'm trying something new." She puffed up her hair a bit. "I felt I looked a little old fashioned compared to the other girls."

"Bangs?"

"Do they suit me?" She fluffed them a bit.

"Not at all." He stepped into the salon, and stood behind her. He gently played with her bangs. "Bangs to me always seem to be hiding something on a woman, the forehead sure, but the woman as well. Women hide behind bangs." He brushed them up revealing her forehead. "You don't strike me as a woman who hides from anything."

She smiled at his flattery. It'd been a while since someone had tried to flirt with her. Randy was cute, but he wasn't charming, or very clever. "Then what do you suggest?"

"Be brave, be bold, shave it all off. Nothing to hide."

"Bangs it is." Elizabeth turned around in her chair and brushed his hand aside. "Do you have a plan for us today?"

Lucifer brushed her bangs one last time. "Aren't you the one who needs points from me?"

"A woman follows a man's schedule. You can't expect her to keep it too.”

“Come on.” He waved his hands. “I have no interest in anything in this entire world, so we might as well do something you enjoy.”

——-

Mary stretched the kinks out of her joints as she wandered down the hallway naked. “Okay, maybe pissing off Elizabeth wasn’t such a good idea, maybe if I…” She was cut off by a large hand grabbing her by the face and pressing her against the nearby wall. “Hey!” She she cried, cheek squished against the door. “What the fuck?”

“What are you doing walking around, naked? Is this anyway for a maid to present herself?”

That was Olympias’ voice. “Fuck you lez, why don’t you go dive back into Yang’s cooch?” Her defiance was quickly replaced with a yelp as she felt a slap against her ass. It was loud, honestly she thought her clapping cheeks might have produced a sonic boom it sounded so loud in her ears. “Ow! What the fuck?”

“The proper response was, ‘Yes Mistress’.”

Mary snorted. “Where do you even get off acting like this? You’d be dead last if Elizabeth had been eliminated. I think… ow!”

“I expect you to be fully dressed by Lunch every day from now on, and you’re to report to me once you have your outfit.”

“What the hell are you talking aboOW!” Another smack. Her crazed eyes caught Cleopatra passing down the hallway. “Yo! Goldie! Help me out here! She’s crazy.”

Cleopatra’s eyes flicked between Olympias, then Mary, then Olympias again. “I am so not getting in the middle of this.”

“Fuck you! Call the cops! Ow!”

Olympias gently rubbed Mary’s ass. “Do you understand?”

“Fuck you! I’m never… ow!”

“Say you understand.”

“I’m never going to, ow!”

“Do you understand?”

“Ow!”

“Do you understand?”

“Ow! Ow! Ow!”

—--

“I gesh she’s not coming.” Eve slurred, as the clock ticked away at another half hour. Erica and her had just finished off a plate of eggs, and a red head had failed to materialize in the presence.

Erica shrugged. “I’ve sent her texts… well, we’ll fill her in when we’re done. First things first, I know what our next challenge is going to be.”

“Thank you for coming, God bless you. Thank you for coming, God bless you. Thank you for coming, God bless you.” Elizabeth scooped a healthy portion of chicken soup, loaded with celery, peppers, and corn into a Styrofoam bowl, and placed it on the tray of the passing homeless.

“You sure know how to show a guy a good time.” Lucifer scowled and slammed a tray of corn bread on the counter. He was wearing a hairnet, a plastic apron and sticky clear gloves.

“I am Gluttony dear, aren’t I all about filling empty stomachs? Thank you for coming, God bless you.”

Lucifer pried a brick of cornbread free, and smacked it down onto a tray. “In excess Elizabeth, in excess! There’s no gluttony around these people they’re starving.”

“You’re not having fun?” She have him a sly and challenging look.

“I don’t see how a person could, this is servant work. For wretches no less.”

She smiled, pleased now that he was miserable. “I’d think you of all people would know the glory of serving a higher power.”

Lucifer looked to the room, the poor and the hungry, the ill in both body and mind. Poor, criminals, unfortunates. “I don’t see who that could be.”

“Love of course.” Elizabeth said plainly, and thanked a scruffy looking man. “Love of humanity. There is nothing higher than love.”

“That is so saccharine.” Lucifer wretched. “Wrong as well.”

“Now I know it’s true.” Elizabeth giggled. “Otherwise you would have said it were true.”

“It’s true Elizabeth it’s true, you caught me. If only the families getting bombed in Syria loved each other more they’d be okay.”

“Now you’re just being a bad sport.”

“I’m here aren’t I? Feeding these animals with you.”

Elizabeth nodded, she had a kind a patience to her that the camera’s hadn’t caught before. It wasn’t the stone will of Olympias, just patience. “You are, and doesn’t it feel nice? To see the hungry thankfully eating your bread?”

Lucifer looked out across the cafeteria. “I’m surprised the rich people in Aspin even allow homeless people, you’d think they’d be hunting them.” He watched hungry maws with missing teeth dip his bread in Elizabeth’s soup and munch away. “It’s grotesque, and you’re the only one giving thanks.”

The line had been made up of silent and bent wraiths, mute this far in their appreciation of Elizabeth’s generosity. “I am thankful.”

“For what?”

“The chance to give and express my love. Humans are made to love. I'm getting the chance to help people, and connect, and I truly am thankful.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m supposed to be charming you, so I think I’ll keep my nasty opinions to myself.”

“Women do love men who know how to shut up."

He smiled at that, the cursing made him feel like he was getting to her. He passed a piece of bread to a woman passing by. He thought she had a hunched back, but realized there was a child on her back. Somewhat disguised in a bundle of blankets. Hidden so her child wouldn't get taken away from her. 'selfish' thought Lucifer disdainfully. "Do you get a good feeling from charity?"

"I do." Elizabeth admitted.

"Well there you go." Lucifer grinned, ready to invalidate all kindness in the universe. "You're just like a rat with a pleasure button. It feels good so you do it, it's all chemicals. But you have to ascribe higher meaning to it. But you would be ashamed to admit this was the social equivalent of masturbation, and that you're just using these people for your own personal joys. True altruism would be helping these people with no feeling of joy what so ever."

"Well then true altruism doesn't sound like something we should concern ourselves with." Elizabeth shot back. "Doesn't the very fact that we feel good helping other people, chemical or not just prove my point? We were made to love."

Lucifer snorted. "All that time as a ghost I watched you, and I thought you were boring. Now I know you're worse than that, you're annoying."

"I thought you said you were holding your rancid opinions." Elizabeth was feasting on his annoyance like it was blood.

"I must not be all that charming to begin with."

"That was my conclusion as well." She looked up and saw he was grinning at that. For some reason this debate felt so natural. She'd really only just met this particular master, but this rythm felt well practiced.

He crossed his arms. "I think maybe I should choose our date now." The day was passing into night, and everyone seemed to have been fed.

"Thank you for coming, God bless you." She slid a bowl to the next person in line. "I think that's a marvelous idea, and what is it that makes Satan happy?"

"****, ****, despair, I hear we've got a war in Europe, those are always bawdy expressions of the human condition.”

"But tragically not in Aspin."

“I’m sure we can find a ****.”

She tsked at this, patience perhaps finally disintegrating. “How do you get any satisfaction living like that?”

She paused for his witty rejoinder, they’d gotten into a bit of a rhythm, but he let it drop. Instead he just looked out at the feasting masses. The silence was a response and a half.

“I see.” Elizabeth wanted to smile, but surprised herself with the discovery of an unsatisfactory eternity. “That’s sad.”

There was a tense moment of silence, like glass had just shattered. Elizabeth knew instantly that those were the wrong words. “You… dare?” Lucifer growled out with an insidious whisper. “You dare pity ME? A mortal?” He extended his hand to the cafeteria, like the poor, the sick, the downtrodden were the best humanity had to offer. They made no reaction to his outburst, npc they were. He came at her, like a beast from before time. Angry angry angry in a way man can not be.

Elizabeth though, stood still like a statue as he came at her, to all the world with the intend to kill. He was in her face, coat in his hands, mouth foaming, and she was calm. “I can’t think of anything I’ve ever pitied more.”

“Well that’s hurtful.” He deflated instantly, he crossed his arms and turned away from her.

“Have you ever even tried to do something for someone else.”

“I served God for an eternity, and even that didn’t make me happy. Tell me, how’s a guy supposed to be happy if he can't be satisfied serving the nexus of all that is good?”

Elizabeth considered this, in the small way humans consider all cosmic affairs. “Maybe you’re just not the kind of person who likes having a boss. Some of us are born to please those above us, and some are born to tend and care for those below.”

“Care.” If his arms weren’t already crossed….

She smiled, his cute face made it easy to forgive him. Why was the world like that? “I give you a challenge, do something good for someone else, not for the show. Just on your own because you want to.”

He scoffed. “How’s it a challenge, if I’m supposed to want to?”

“You’re being a child.” She flicked her ladle at him, and splashed him with soup.

“Oh real nice.” He watched the red broth drip off his plastic apron. He looked at at the room. “Who in this wide wretched world would I possibly want to…”

His eyes caught the woman from earlier. The one smuggling the child on her back. He saw her now at the table dissolving her bread in her soup and feeding the mush to the child, never taking a single spoon full for herself.

Elizabeth followed his eye line and smiled. Silently she ladled out a bowl of soup, and pushed it towards him.

He looked at it offended, then at her disgusted, then at the mother wounded. Wordlessly he scooped out a piece of cornbread and headed for her table. It was with this same annoyed silence that he went to her and set the bowl in front of her.

The woman, the redhead in a worn beanie decorated with Moose looked surprised, and looked up at Lucifer for some kind of confirmation.

He refused to give her any he just looked out into the distance. The sun had set, and Aspin was growing cold and dark perfect soup weather. He brushed her nose with a finger, and gave the mother the briefest of glances, like she was an after thought. He then turned around, and headed back to his station. Behind him her voice called out. “Bless you!”

And Satan smiled.

He walked to Elizabeth with purpose only to find the woman hocking a loogie into the soup. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve and ripped off her hair net. “Soup Kitchen huh?” She chuckled, and walked towards him. “That must have been worth a laugh.”

Lucifer blinked, shocked by the change, until he remembered the other her. “Oh.” He couldn’t hide the disappointment. This was the Elizabet Bathory from legend, the one he'd been so eager to meet. Blood thirsty, and crazy. Just her presence made the alien warmth in his chest cool back down to it's sickly cold nature.

“She totally helpless without me.” Elizabeth ran her sharp nails along Lucifer’s chest.

He laughed nervously, then pulled her in close. “Yeah, she’s…a lost cause.”