Dads and Daughters

“~Ey! Cinnamon Toast Crunch! Welcome back!” Dante greets you enthusiastically as he sees you enter his bodega first. Stella, Maddy and Connor all look at you in confusion, but Mr. O’Brien laughs at your expense.

After Maddy asked to join you and Connor for the drive to Back Alley Bakery and Bodega to get Angel’s Donuts, Liza tried to subtly argue against it; telegraphing what she was trying to do with her suggestion, as she obviously wanted you and Connor to have a private conversation as Maddy’s suitor and Maddy’s father respectively. However, with Maddy being insistent that she come with you and her father, and with the magic most likely influencing her family heavily, they relented and allowed her to come.

It was after Maddy was allowed to join that Stella decided to insert herself in the trip as well. Liza eyed you to try and discourage Stella, but with your daughter outright calling out that it was just ‘a trip to get donuts’ and ‘nothing else’, Mr. O’Brien chimed in and said he’d like to tag along too, and Liza just rolled her eyes and didn’t bother arguing anymore.

With you and Stella both leaving, it was going to leave Cassie with the rest of the O’Brien women back at the apartment, which she didn’t seem too comfortable with. Thankfully, Tricia suggested dropping by the park nearby while your group went out getting donuts, which was the same park you and the girls go on your runs, that she agreed to go with them and give them somewhat of a tour.

The ride going to the bodega was silent. At least, on yours and Connor’s end as you sat next to each other at the front while you drove. The back seats, meanwhile, were full of chatter with Stella and Maddy catching up on the weekend they both had, while Mr. O’Brien told a quick anecdote of his first fishing trip with his son.

Which brings you back to…

“Yo! Is that you Con-Man? You didn’t tell me you were dropping by!” Dante greets his old friend, before making his way to Connor from behind the counter to dap him up.

“Con-Man?” Maddy and Stella both ask simultaneously with a chuckle.

“Hey, D.” Connor greets him back, a little embarrassed after hearing his old nickname again it seems, but he happily takes the dap from Dante. Dante’s face immediately gets serious as they break away from each other and he notices the girls standing next to you and Connor.

“The red hair’s a dead giveaway but I still gotta ask, you’re one of Connor’s girls, aren’t you?” Dante asks Maddy, who nods in response. “Oh shit! Old Con-Man finally lightens up and frees a daughter out into the world.” Dante busts Connor’s balls. “Come here! Give your Uncle D a hug, huh?” Dante tells her as he spreads his arms wide. Connor immediately comes in between them and tells Maddy, “A handshake would suffice, Maddy.”

“What the— Dude! How long have we known each other, huh? Twenty years? I can’t even hug my niece now?” Dante asks him in fake offense.

“Years working a cash register and you still can’t count past twenty? We’ve known each other for over forty years now, genius; and it’s because I’ve known you that long that I’m telling my daughter that a handshake with you is safer.” Connor busts Dante’s balls right back.

“Ey! Don’t age me you bald fuck. I can still get away telling the mamacitas I’m thirty.” Dante fires back, and Connor doesn’t bother pointing out that Dante has a shaved head also. “Isn’t that right, mamacita?” Dante suddenly turns his attention to Stella.

“EW! Dad! No!” You hear the clerk shout in disgust from behind the counter.

“I’m just playing, baby girl!” Dante assures her. “Also, EY! Get over here! Say hi to your uncles.” Dante tells his daughter.

“I’m with a customer! Doing YOUR job!” The clerk tells him, and you can see Maddy’s eyes widen in shock, as she probably can’t imagine having that kind of rapport, let alone a single exchange, like that with her father.

“This customer?” Dante asks, putting his arm around the guy’s shoulder. “Fuck this customer! He doesn’t even pay!” Dante outright insults his customer, but you can tell he’s just being playful.

“Yo! Big D! I got cash this time!” The guy tells him, even taking out the money from his wallet to prove it. “See?” the guy asks, waving his wad of cash to Dante, who takes it off his hands.

“I still don’t understand why people buy weed off you when there’s a dispensary in every corner.” Dante comments while he starts counting Tom’s wad of cash.

“It’s cheaper since you’re not paying tax. Not to mention it’s more convenient since he delivers it to your doorstep with pizza.” Mr. O’Brien answers Dante’s question, getting a judgmental look from his son immediately after. “At least I assume.” Mr. O’Brien adds, trying to wash his hands off doing exactly what he suggested.

“Oh hey! Tricky Ricky!” Tom shouts in recognition of Mr. O’Brien, the latter getting a **** stare from Connor. Mr. O’Brien acknowledges that there’s no escaping his situation, and just greets Tom back.

“Oh! You’re the pizza lover from Tricky Ricky’s building too, aren’t ya? Suh’ dude?” Tom then turns his attention towards you, and Connor’s murderous intent goes straight to you. You’d defend yourself and explain, but you think that will make you look more guilty.

“Here.” Dante then returns a little of Tom’s money, while keeping the majority of the bills for himself. “This is for your tab.” Dante explains.

“Oh my God! Are you done? Can you let him pay now?” Dante’s daughter asks.

“Uh~” Tom looks at the stuff he got ringed up and the amount of money Dante left him with. “You wanna buy some weed?” Tom awkwardly asks Dante’s daughter.

“Get the fuck outta here!” Dante shouts in offense. “Don’t sell weed to my daughter!” Dante adds, as he grabs the stuff Tom bought and hands it to him. “I’ll put it on your tab. Go on. Get to steppin’!” Dante tells Tom, as he aggressively, but still somehow politely, kicks Tom out from his bodega.

“Thanks, Big D!” Tom tells him as Dante shuts the bodega door closed.

“Okay, baby girl. Can you say hello to your uncles now?” Dante asks his daughter politely, and his daughter just rolls her eyes and walks towards your group from behind the counter. She hugs Connor and gives him a cheek kiss, and greeting him as Uncle Connor; and does the same for her Uncle Ricky.

“Hey, Flo. How’s Bea doing?” Mr. O’Brien asks her.

“Mom’s doing good, Uncle Ricky. She’s at the house resting right now. Woke up early to bake, you know?” Flo answers him.

“You wouldn’t be doin’ my job and getting offered weed by these bums if you started your training with your moms.” Dante comments.

“It’s my summer vacation, dad! I’m not waking up at three in the morning when I can be sleeping in.” Flo retorts.

“We ain’t havin’ this argument again right now.” Dante says dismissively.

“You brought it up!” Flo points out, and Dante just nods profusely to convey to her he realizes her point and concedes.

“Looks like Bea’s not the only one who has you under their thumb anymore.” Connor comments.

“Ey, man. I don’t comment on your marriage and how you raise your kids. Don’t you comment on mine.” Dante retorts.

“Fair enough.” Connor concedes, putting an end to that discussion.

Seeing that her father and Connor ended their discussion, and since she hasn’t greeted you yet, Flo then turns towards you with an unsure look on her face whether she should greet you the same as Connor and Mr. O’Brien or not.

Something Dante notices as well.

“Not Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He’s not an uncle.” Dante tells her, and you give her an awkward hand wave as she looks at you weirdly after hearing your nickname one more time. Flo just waves her hand to say hi, and you do the same. Thankfully, nobody bothers to ask you where the nickname came from. As there’s a lull in the conversation, Stella takes the opportunity to introduce herself to Flo and Dante.

“Oh~ shit! You’re this dude’s daughter? You weren’t kidding, Uncle Ricky. She is hot. Gahddayum.” Dante comments with a laugh, eliciting a head turn from Stella towards Mr. O’Brien, who just looks away guiltily. “No wonder you started dating your own daughter, dude.” Dante adds, before tapping you on the shoulder playfully.

“Oh my God! Ew~! Your own daughter’s here! Don’t say creepy shit like that, Dad!” Flo comments, getting a chuckle out of Maddy.

“Can you also not catcall my daughter in front of me?” You ask Dante politely.

“What? Not comfortable with the idea that a grown man is attracted to your barely legal daughter?” Connor asks you as a jab, getting disapproving reactions from the girls.

“Uncle Connor! No! Don’t use that term!” Flo reacts.

“What term?” Connor asks her in confusion.

“Barely legal!” Flo answers.

“Yeah, Sarge. Maddy and I aren’t porno categories that you get to describe like that.” Stella adds, getting a shocked and guilty look from Connor.

“Yeah, Dad!” Maddy chimes in agreement; although, you do notice she seems unsure what Flo and Stella are taking offense to and why Stella mentioned ‘porno category’.

“Just concede, dude. This generation is so sensitive about that shit. I hear it all the fucking time with this one.” Dante advises Connor.

“Well if you actually listen to what I tell you, you wouldn’t hear it from me over and over.” Flo argues.

“Honey, we’ve been over this. When I use the word retard, it’s not to disparage the intellectually disabled. They have disabilities, and it’s not their fault, I get that; but our customers who have fully functioning brains but piss me the fuck off with how they use it have no excuse. Which makes them fucking retards. You get what I’m saying?” Dante argues with her daughter so comically that Maddy stifles a laugh as well.

“See? Red gets it.” Dante comments, after hearing Maddy’s laughter. Maddy immediately stops after Dante catches her though.

“Wait, I just realized something, why did Uncle Connor ask if you weren’t comfortable with an older man dating your daughter?” Flo asks you, immediately changing the subject as it seems she doesn’t want to argue with her father right now. Flo glances towards Maddy, and then back at you. “Are you~?” Flo asks suggestively, darting her eyes back and forth between you and Maddy.

“Over my dead body.” Connor says in response to Flo’s suggestion. Dante looks at you, then at Connor, then at Maddy, then back at you. Maddy’s flushed cheeks, Connor’s annoyed expression, and your guilty look are all the clues Dante needs to piece it together.

“Wait… WHAT!? AHAHAHAHA!” Dante starts belly laughing to the point of wheezing and leaning on his daughter to support himself as he gasps for air. Dante’s laughter is infectious as Stella, Flo, and Mr. O’Brien start laughing as well.

…

“Yo! I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be laughing.” Dante starts to apologize. “How the fuck did this happen, huh? I need the whole story and a half.” Dante asks, still laughing.

“We’re just here for the donuts, Dante.” Connor tells him in a super serious manner. Basically telling his old friend there’s nothing funny about this situation.

“Oh, come on! You don’t expect me to just let that go. You haven’t even introduced your kids to me because you keep them locked up at your place a few states away, and the first time I meet one of them she already has this daughterfucker going after her.” Dante tells him still laughing, before his eyes bulge in realization and turn serious. “Oh shit. I thought Uncle Ricky calling you a ‘daughterfucker’ was just for your own daughter. You comin’ after our kids too? Flo, get back behind the counter.” Dante tells his daughter.

“HA! Not my type.” Flo tells him.

“Wasn’t asking, princess.” Dante tells her, and Flo just follows her Dad’s wishes and gets back behind the counter.

“That was completely unnecessary.” You tell Dante, who gives you a wide smile.

“Oh, I know. I was just playing with you, man. I just told her to get back there so she can get your order. How many donuts are you guys getting?” Dante asks Connor.

“Just give us three dozen, Dante.” Mr. O’Brien answers him.

“Three dozen? Who’s eating all that?” Dante asks in surprise.

“Connor brought his entire family over to send Maddy and Tricia off while they spend the rest of the summer here. Plus, the extras are for Jay’s girlfriends too.” Mr. O’Brien answers him, and you give thanks to Mr. O’Brien for already including some in his order for your girls, and Tanya’s daughters as well.

“Yo~! You brought Liza and the girls and you didn’t tell me? Dude! Come over for dinner! Bring your family for once!” Dante suggests enthusiastically.

“We’re going to drive back before it gets too late. We don’t—” Connor starts to answer and Dante cuts him off.

“Nah~. I ain’t hearin’ none’a that. I’m holding those donuts hostage until you agree.” Dante tells Connor, who sighs in defeat when he hears he’s using his order as leverage. “Have dinner with my family, dude. For old time’s sake! Plus, if two of your daughters are going to stay here for the summer, they might need friends in the city. Heck, Red can work here if she needs extra spending money over the summer.” Dante suggests. “Maybe she can avoid this sugar daddy wannabe over here.” Dante adds teasingly, but Stella takes some offense in you being a sugar daddy.

“Hey! Not cool. My dad genuinely likes Maddy! Plus, listen to what you’re insinuating Maddy is with that comment.” Stella says in defense of you, and you notice Maddy’s cheeks flush once more. Dante seems to notice that too, and immediately retracts his joke.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m sorry. I regretted it as soon as I said it. It was a bad joke and I apologize.” Dante immediately concedes, before returning his focus to Connor. “How about this, I tell Ma to cook your favorite?” Connor suggests.

“Auntie Angel’s Lasagna?” Connor asks, actually sounding tempted now.

“Yeah~, dude. I can’t believe your daughters haven’t tried Ma’s cooking yet! Give 'em a taste of what we grew up on, huh?” Dante tells him.

Connor looks at Maddy, then back at Dante.

“What do you say, Maddy? Do you want to have dinner with your Uncle Dante?”